Random Thoughts from a New Adoptive Mom

I don't know how all you moms get inventive newborn shots...Mine wasn't taken with my creativity...I did manage to get 1 semi-cute one:
Surprises
I often heard birthing mothers say, "The moment you see that sweet face, you forget. You forget the pain and are consumed with overwhelming love..." It's absolutely true. When I look at Ty, every painful year and aching tear is erased...as if it never existed.

Motherhood is easier than I dreamed it to be. One day we weren't a family and the next day we were. It was normal and right...I can't explain it beyond that...

Contrary to all expectations, I am one laid back mom. It's been the biggest surprise of motherhood, so far, due to the freak that exists in most parts of my life -organizational, clean, perfection, etc. The paci falls in the dirt, I rub it off and shove it back in...I don't see the need for sterilization and I'm not particular on who holds him or touches his face. I maintain an "it's all good" attitude most of the time. Maybe it's because I've been a mama in my heart for so long...

Changes
The lack of sleep has definitely been the biggest adjustment. I'm fairing much better than my Ben. I don't like getting up every 4-5 hours (we take shifts), but once I'm up I love every moment. Ty's wild-haired head cradles into the nook of my neck and makes time stand still.

I once prided myself in personal grooming disciplines, which have now been all but obliterated. The pony is my new best friend and I can't live without anit-frizz oil...it's the perfect shower replacement.

Everything takes longer. Eating, getting ready, walking out the door, blogging...Inevitably taking care of Ty takes over!

Frustrations
It's as if no one has ever adopted before. Seriously. We've run into a lot of hassle from checking out of the hospital, blood work at the health department, insurance confusion, picking up a prescription, etc.

We have yet to receive any paperwork from the agency, proving our custodianship, making these issues worse.

Disappointments
There's only been one disappointment...it's really difficult to go through the most exciting, emotional time of your life not surrounded by friends and family.

Many have asked...we have to stay here until Michigan's interstate adoption council approves us to come home. It could be two days or two months...no way to know. The average wait time is one week from termination (which would be this coming, Tuesday). We're praying for the call early next week.

Joys
Baby Ty. Need I say more? We are living every moment...Here are some of my favorites:

Pediatrician said, "He's adopted? He looks just like you!"

Me to Ben: Honey, I'm holding a baby in my arms...our baby... [tears]

Ben to Ty: "Dude, we can get through this..." while getting him dressed (Ty's not a big fan)

I love family cuddle time - oh, let's say - around 6am every morning...I love the little hand that curls around my shoulder when it's burp time...I love feeling his heartbeat on my chest and the rythm of his breathing on my cheek...I love kissing his lips when he starts to wail...and touching his face as he sleeps...

My all time favorite [new] joy comes when I'm holding baby and I start talking...He immediately finds my eyes and holds the stare until he falls asleep. It's as if his little heart is saying...Thank you. Thank you for waiting...for enduring all the pain...all the heartache...all the drugs and shots...all the empty answers...all the barren years...for enduring the endless supply of surrounding pregos...for holding other babies, but praying for me...for pushing through the darkness...for opening your heart...for driving 23 hours (18 in one night) to come for me...for loving my first mom more than yourself...for never giving up.

Thank you for never giving up...

If you are a waiting, adopting mom...Never never never give up [W. Churchill]. One day, your newborn, too, will thank you with his eyes. And you will never be the same.