Day 285: The Call

Do you like a good story? I mean a really good story. One that makes you laugh...and cry...and fall in love all over again? I LOVE good stories, be it book or movie or real life. My all time favorite book is A Voice in the Wind, by Francine Rivers. I have re-read the entire series (four books) six or seven times and they grip my heart every time. There's something about seeing love and passion and forgiveness unveiled that inspires me to be better, go deeper, and love harder. Good stories remind us of God's goodness and maybe even give us hope for the future...

Since we're talking about good stories, I thought I might tell you one. Feel free to settle in with some popcorn...and watch a God-sized miracle unfold...

For weeks I was in a love/hate relationship with January 27th. The "27th" of every month holds significant weight for me because we had our first agency meeting on April 27th and oddly enough, 4 months later, we were officially put on the waiting list on August 27th. I look forward to every 27th for two reasons. First, we receive agency updates and second, it marks another month of waiting behind us and puts us one month closer to our Babyheart. So...it wasn't the 27th I took issue with....it was January. January 27th marked 9 months exactly. I knew it shouldn't be a big deal. I knew that we should expect to wait 12-18 months...but I was struggling with the fact that every other woman would be having her baby on the day that simply marked another "waiting" milestone for me. My heart was a wreck. The injustice can be suffocating at times...but back to the story...

For weeks leading up to January 27th I was a mess. Agency drama coupled with difficult decisions, made that time even worse. The longer we waited the more impossible the situation felt and in our hearts the give-up process had begun. I woke up with a heavy heart on Tuesday, January 27th, and on my drive into work, I questioned God for the umpteenth time, on what the heck he was doing. I bitterly threw out, "the least you could do is have the agency call, today....give me some sign of hope." I reminded him that every other woman would be having her baby, today...and that I could have had four babies by now had my body been made to work.

At 12:30pm (on the 27th) I received a voicemail from Ben, "Honey, call me back right away, the agency called."

Five year's worth of frustration came through my tears and my heart wept because I knew. I knew that God had finally heard my cry. Because I never thought this day would come, I really hadn't put much energy into thinking about how it would happen, what I would do, or how I would feel. I can't explain the rightness of what I felt in the 5 seconds it took for me to call Ben. The phone rang once...Lord, you heard me...twice...it's been 9 months, today...a third time...thank you for --

"Honey! The agency called and a birth mother picked us!!!"

I was so clouded with emotion [and again as I type] all I could muster was a meek, "Really...?"

"Yes! It's a crazy situation. She found us through your blog....called our agency...and told them she was already signed up with a different agency, but that she wants us to be the parents...."

I am seriously weeping as I type this...I can't even process the miracle of it all...I know that you want to hear the end of the story....but you have to let me continue to build it...this is a "good" story, remember? I have to go back to this feeling of rightness. It's the only way I can describe to you what I felt. As soon as Ben told me that our birth mom found us through my blog, I knew it was God. Apart from the fact that there are hundreds, if not thousands, of women blogging about infertility and adoption and this precious woman found me, it resonated perfection. I started this blog so that I could document our journey through adoption. I wanted our son/daughter to one day read their story, through my written word, capturing the raw emotion of our love. I had no idea how healing this blog would be...and the personal growth that would result. When I heard that someone read my words....including all the dark, nasty moments...and still said, "this is the family for me," I knew it was right. Doesn't it just make sense that God would take something so raw...so personal...so real...and use it to connect two people forever? I am astounded by his love for me. He truly is faithful, even when we are faithless. Hear my testimony and be encouraged. My heart can be described no other way. I lacked all faith that morning...but God sill heard my heart cry. And answered.

Okay, okay, back to the story! [smile] Ben was only given a handful of details, at first, including the mother's name, location, age, and baby's race and due date. I have to tell you that nothing about this match is what I expected. Ephesians 3:20 says that "He is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us." The truth of this has hit full force. He has done immeasurably more...

Our baby's mother is named Rebekah. Yes, you read it right. I've met two people my entire life that spelled their name the same way as mine. He has done immeasurably more... She was with another agency and had looked through dozens of profiles, but didn't have peace about any of them. He has done immeasurably more... One of my blog friend's real life friends told her about my blog this summer and she "happened" to meet Rebekah on a discussion board several years ago and they've been buddies ever since. When Rebekah chose adoption this woman sent her my blog address and told her to check us out. He has done immeasurably more... Rebekah's exact words, "I clicked on the link and as soon as their blog came up I started jumping up and down....I KNEW it was them. I started reading and it only confirmed that it was." He has done immeasurably more...

Rebekah is around my age, with kids at home. She is a good mom and it was immediately apparent that she loves her kids more than life. She loves the Lord with all her heart and chose us because she wants her baby to grow up in a Christ-centered family. He has done immeasurably more... She does live out of state, which she thought might change our minds about picking her [she doesn't know that I would go to the ends of the earth...]. Little Babyheart will be a beautiful mix of Caucasian and Hispanic and has a loosely planned birthday of July 6th. He has done immeasurably more... The part that screams miracle to me, is Rebekah. She is extraordinary. I mean it. I'm not just saying that because she's about to give me the world. She is strong and confident and hard working and excited. She is actually excited that God has brought redemption to the situation and is using her to ignite life in us. I am speechless. Ben is speechless. The ageny is speechless. God is smiling. He has done immeasurably more...

There is so much to write...but like any good story, I'm going to let the fullness sink in before I share more.

Take a good look at me, God, my God;
I want to look life in the eye...

I've thrown myself headlong into your arms—
I'm celebrating your rescue.
I'm singing at the top of my lungs,
I'm so full of answered prayers.

~ Psalm 13 (The Message)

Big Smiles on "The Call" day!

Oh, and by the way. This is my 100th post. [Huge Smile]