Thursday, March 22, 2012

Visit #4

Today we were able to bring LJ home. For the day.

It was awesome.

We played t-ball in the backyard, road our bikes to the park, and played endless games of bubbles, airplanes, and chase. Pretty much a typical weekend day at the Pinchbacks + one.

A woman noted today, "Those boys are two peas in a pod."

They sure are.




Aren't they awesome?

I am blown away at how well-mannered and even-tempered LJ is for all that he's seen in his little life. I give full glory to God for protecting his innocence and a lot of credit to his current foster mom, G-mama. He covers his mouth when he coughs, sleeps like a champ, and eats everything I give him. I am stunned.

The two areas that will be of greatest challenge is 1) helping Ty realize he is not the center of the universe and that his toys need to be shared and 2) proving to LJ that this move is permanent and will re-define his view of family.

Teaching Ty to share is a perfectly natural problem and one that will have life long benefit. It helps to know that we're not alone in battling this. You can tell that poor LJ is used to having everything taken from him (in more ways than one); he is completely void of reaction and goes out of his way to make Ty "happy" with him.

The bonding issues are so much deeper than what we've experienced before. I desperately want to have an adult conversation with our new son and tell him that he is complete in Christ and his position in our family. That God has stamped redemption over his heart and that his life will never be the same...I want to hold him and weep for all the times I wasn't there for him and infuse overflowing joy into his very serious demeanor and sad heart.

Instead... I am forced to love him from a distance, with a relaxed attitude, and light hearted interactions. It's tough.

He does have moments of laughter and bouts of silly with Ty, but never me or Ben. I even tried tickling him, today, and was met with cold eyes and serious lips. It will take time.

I am secure in me and motherhood, so it's easy to trust God. God has a plan for this little boy; there's no mistaking it.

Ty's friendship and brotherhood will be a healing balm to LJ's little heart. Ty litters him with kisses and hugs and hand holding. I am so proud.

And Ben. Oh, Ben. My incredibly loving, tender, not-many-guys-could-go-along-for-this-ride husband. He is such a lover and protector...for all of us.  LJ is smitten with him. Everything is, "hi, dad!", "okay, dad?", "look at me dad!", "I see you dad"... I am just the girl in the corner that likes to take pictures and Ty calls, "Mom." [smile]. I'm okay with that.

We had a GREAT day as a family. It's a one hour drive (one way) to LJ for each visit. That part is getting annoying, but only a few more days of that! We dropped him off tonight with his G-mama and a somber Ty said, "Mom...I miss him already." I love that boy. He is a gift from God.

We were cuddling tonight before bed and Ty said, "You know what Mom? I love you." I didn't know that I needed to hear that, but it was a direct connect to my heart. The love of God is so satisfying it leaves you full for days.

We pick up LJ after work tomorrow and will have him for the weekend. I know that God will guide us through the challenges. I am just so incredibly thankful to have our second son home...

I leave you with my new picture of God.

His perfect love -
unending faithfulness -
and unparalleled redemption.



Lord, you are GOOD.

My heart and eyes cry.

30 comments:

  1. tears...this story gets better and better with each passing day! God is SO GOOD!!

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  2. the pic of ben and the boys is priceless...

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  3. Ok I lost it with the last picture. :)

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  4. Awe, just awe. Your heart for your new son is amazing, yet they is exactly why I believe God chose your family for LJ. I am also thankful that TY has received his parents love to help him understand the needs of his brother. God bless you all.

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  5. I adore that last picture and what Ty said to you. God is so good!!

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  6. That picture is so amazing. Yes, LJ is sad. As you know, he has many reasons to be. It will take some time with you guys for him to learn how safe he really is. And learn, he will.

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  7. *like* *like* *like*

    cindie

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  8. Oh Rebekah, I am just loving watching this story unfold. God is so in the details of this...it's amazing! LJ is so precious, and the interactions with Ty just melt my heart. Continuing to pray for your sweet family!!

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  9. Wow....tears are flowing! Redemption it is...so so beautiful!

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  10. GREAT PICTURES! He fits right in...have a great weekend!!!!

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  11. You are an amazing woman!! God is so good:). LJ and Ty are so blessed. It might take some time with LJ...but It will all come together!!! In GOD'S TIME...GOD'S PERFECT TIME!! Prayers and Peace!!

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  12. Man, this had me crying... in a good way, of course. God is awesome. :)

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  13. So incredible. I love reading your journey and your sweet family is always in my prayers! God is SO good!

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  14. Rebekah, I was one of the 65 that was told no to LJ. I have been watching your interactions with him and while in some ways it has been heartbreaking I have to say that I know God has him in the right home. Seeing him with Ty and Ben is a healing balm I am truly happy for you and your new family of four. LJ is on my long list of children God didn't bless me with but I will continue to pray for those children, for him. Know that he will have someone praying over him and you from now on. How blessed you are!

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    1. what a precious comment. praying for you and the children that will call you mom.

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  15. I also love watching this unfold! You guys are so blessed!

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  16. The last picture made me tear up. I am so happy for you and your family.

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  17. That picture really brought to tears to my eyes. <3

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  18. Lord, Thank you for sweet LJ and the protection you have provided him so far in his young life. Be with his new parents and brother, his birth family, and his foster family. Help Miss R minister to all those around her---as she's already doing. Love, Rachel :)

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  19. And on a fun note---let transracial family fun begin. People will ask you all sorts of crazy questions, including "are they twins?" and "are they REAL siblings?" The answer is that yes, they are real siblings. And you are real parents. :) It's real love, baby!

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  20. You guys are blessed. I love the pictures of LJ and Ty. They look so happy! Best buds...forever brothers! <3

    The last pic of your hubby Ben with his boys... priceless. I'm sure as LJ warms up to his new family and atmosphere you and he will bond.

    Can't wait to hear all about your weekend visit. Have a great one!

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  21. Love love love this!!! So glad to see the two little boys together! My heart is so happy for you and your hubby. Praise Jesus!!!!!!

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  22. I'm loving hearing this story unfold. LJ sounds like such a sweetheart and little Ty seems to be the key to his heart. I pray for a smooth transition for you all!

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  23. I'm so happy things are going well. I hope the boys and both of you have a fabulous weekend.

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  24. So excited for you!! Look forward to updates. I'm a mama of twin boys (now 11). Some toys we bought one for each and some they shared. I'd hit the consignment shops and thrift stores and see if you can get some duplicates of the favorites.

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  25. Thank you again for posting your heart! Love the last photo in particular.:)

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