We rode the elevator to the second floor.
The caseworker asked if it felt crazy.
We explained that after flying all the way to Colorado to knock on the apartment door of a woman we had never met who held the baby we'd later adopt, we could do anything.
It's amazing how your gauge of normal adapts.
We met with caseworkers for a better part of two hours before we were notified that Little Boy and his foster mom had arrived.
We, excitedly, sat at the conference table, before Ben hurriedly ushered me to the couch. He felt it was more "natural". I went along. I was just happy to finally be meeting my baby!!!
We heard the pit-pat of his shoes first.
He ran the length of the hall.
Ben and I exchanged a quick glance, hearts melting at the sound.
Little Boy poked his head in the door and, immediately, caught my glance in his big brown eyes.
His foster mom nudged him forward and introduced us as "friends."
We spent an hour playing and talking and planning for the days to come.
Unless you've been in this place, it is very difficult to explain how humbling it is to take in your son while his eyes search the room for his mother. The mother that isn't you.
Thankfully, I was much more prepared for that moment, today.
I didn't cringe when he cried out for his mommy or hid in her arms. Instead, I enjoyed the moments of observation and conversation with one of the many women Little Boy has called mom.
Little Boy took to Ben right away. Foster mom says he hasn't been around many men.
I drank in every moment.
As foster mom talked, Little Boy became more comfortable and tiptoed over to the toys sitting to my right. He reached beyond me to grab a tricycle and put his pudgy little hand on my knee. My heart flopped. I grabbed it gently and held it for as long as he would allow.
He may not feel like my son, but that doesn't make me love him any less.
After an hour it was very clear that Little Boy is sweet and tender, oddly similar to Ty. The largest difference between the two two year olds is the profound sadness that pours from Little Boy's eyes and demeanor. It was heartbreaking.
We wanted to bring Little Boy home, more than anything, but after seeing the bond that existed between him and foster mom, we agreed that a two week transition time was appropriate. We have 8 visits scheduled for the next 14 days. Including a full day this weekend and three overnights, next weekend.
Homecoming is March 29th!
Ben and Ty and I will pick Little Boy up on Saturday and spend our first day together as a family of four.
I can't imagine anything more wonderful.
Many thoughts, words, and pictures to come...