Thursday, March 15, 2012

Our First Meeting

We rode the elevator to the second floor.

The caseworker asked if it felt crazy.

We explained that after flying all the way to Colorado to knock on the apartment door of a woman we had never met who held the baby we'd later adopt, we could do anything.

She laughed.

It's amazing how your gauge of normal adapts.

We met with caseworkers for a better part of two hours before we were notified that Little Boy and his foster mom had arrived.

We, excitedly, sat at the conference table, before Ben hurriedly ushered me to the couch. He felt it was more "natural". I went along. I was just happy to finally be meeting my baby!!!

We heard the pit-pat of his shoes first.

He ran the length of the hall.

Ben and I exchanged a quick glance, hearts melting at the sound.

Little Boy poked his head in the door and, immediately, caught my glance in his big brown eyes.

His foster mom nudged him forward and introduced us as "friends."

We spent an hour playing and talking and planning for the days to come.

Unless you've been in this place, it is very difficult to explain how humbling it is to take in your son while his eyes search the room for his mother. The mother that isn't you.

Thankfully, I was much more prepared for that moment, today.

I didn't cringe when he cried out for his mommy or hid in her arms. Instead, I enjoyed the moments of observation and conversation with one of the many women Little Boy has called mom.

Little Boy took to Ben right away. Foster mom says he hasn't been around many men.

I drank in every moment.

As foster mom talked, Little Boy became more comfortable and tiptoed over to the toys sitting to my right. He reached beyond me to grab a tricycle and put his pudgy little hand on my knee. My heart flopped. I grabbed it gently and held it for as long as he would allow.

He may not feel like my son, but that doesn't make me love him any less.

After an hour it was very clear that Little Boy is sweet and tender, oddly similar to Ty. The largest difference between the two two year olds is the profound sadness that pours from Little Boy's eyes and demeanor. It was heartbreaking.

We wanted to bring Little Boy home, more than anything, but after seeing the bond that existed between him and foster mom, we agreed that a two week transition time was appropriate. We have 8 visits scheduled for the next 14 days. Including a full day this weekend and three overnights, next weekend.

Homecoming is March 29th!

Ben and Ty and I will pick Little Boy up on Saturday and spend our first day together as a family of four.

I can't imagine anything more wonderful.

Thank you for all of your encouragement and prayers. We are believing God for the life of this sweet, perfect boy.

Many thoughts, words, and pictures to come...

44 comments:

  1. ugh1!!!! melt my heart! Im so happy for you guys!

    cindie bass

    ReplyDelete
  2. So, so glad to see this post Rebekah! I bet your heart is singing right now!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I just love it so much. I know what it is like to have that little hand touch you for the first time.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I'm not sure that my posts have ever gone through, but I've been following your blog for a long time and I'm so so happy for your family!! What a special time it is for all of you!!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Tears fill my eyes for Little Boy and for your new family! What a lucky little guy! God's plans amaze me....this little man was meant to be a part of you lives! Wonderful!!

    ReplyDelete
  6. So glad that you were finally able to meet and that you now have an official homecoming date set!

    ReplyDelete
  7. What a beautiful post and how luck this little boy is to be part of your family now. Thank you!

    ReplyDelete
  8. so glad to see this! and even more- that little boy is dark brown. as a white mom of a brown girlie, it is especially touching. blessings on all of you- and how wise to do a slow transition. we did this with one of our adopted kids and it was well worth the wait. time, time, time. don't break his heart any more than necessary.

    ReplyDelete
  9. How perfect & awesome...I love him already & have tears in my eyes at the blessing you have all found in each other. He doesn't even know yet...

    ReplyDelete
  10. So thankful you were able to meet him!!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Amazing! God is so good! So so happy for you and him!

    ReplyDelete
  12. I teared up reading your post tonight. God is so good.. Praying for Little Boy and your family as you have your next visit. So exciting!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Simply BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  14. How very special. My heart leaps as I read your journey unfold. Tyrus is going to be such an amazing big bro and y'all are such fabulous parents. "L" is going to bring you so much joy...can't wait to hear stories as your family of 4. Oh, and by the way, the pic on Facebook- I died. Seriously, scrape me off the floor, that's one GORGEOUS kid. Love ya!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Congratulations to your whole family! I am so, so excited for you guys! As hard as these next two weeks are for you, it will make things so much easier for Little Boy. My son (6 months at placement) basically had one hour to get to know me and then I swooped him away. Sometimes I think we are still dealing with the ramifications. In two weeks, none of the frustration you've had up to this point will matter. Good luck with your transition. I'm not sure how much you've read about how to promote good attachment but this is by far my favorite attachment website http://www.a4everfamily.org/index.php?option=com_frontpage&Itemid=1

    ReplyDelete
  16. What a precious child. :) My heart breaks that he's had such a tumultuous life so far and yet bursts with happiness that such a wonderfully loving family wants him so desperately. I love that this isn't about doing the right thing or "saving" anyone for you, it's about having found someone you've fallen madly in love with that completes your family. This is what family is all about.

    ReplyDelete
  17. I been waiting for the update. It sounded like a great visit. I think it's wonderful that you can take a step back and admire him with his foster Mom. I can't wait to hear more.

    ReplyDelete
  18. So glad that things went well tonight and that Little Boy will soon be coming home for the last time! Also, so glad that you are doing a nice transition - 2 weeks is perfect for a child his age. Just long enough to let him get comfortable with you - but not too long to make him anxious. He won't really "get" that its a transition, but it will be good for him in the long run. Blessings and prayers for all of you!

    ReplyDelete
  19. Praying for God's covering over this time of transition for all of you.

    ReplyDelete
  20. I'm so happy for all of you! What a beautiful day!

    ReplyDelete
  21. You will be in my thoughts!

    ReplyDelete
  22. awwww..how sweet!!!! though never commented before, i have been closely following you in this journey...and we all have been excitedly waiting for the meeting!!!

    ReplyDelete
  23. Awesome. God is good! Praying for you all in the days to come! :)

    ReplyDelete
  24. Oh my gosh!!! That is beautiful. When you said his little pudgy hand touched your knee, I'm not kidding my heart flopped too. So happy you finally got to meet this sweet boy in person and so happy God has chosen to bring him to your family. God is soooo good. All, All of the time.

    ReplyDelete
  25. He is so sweet! I can't wait to see Ty with him. Love you all!

    R

    ReplyDelete
  26. I am so happy for you guys! I hope you have a GREAT Saturday as your family of 4. (The first of a life time)

    ReplyDelete
  27. Just wonderful! Enjoy it all! God is so good.

    ReplyDelete
  28. It must be so difficult to wait for tomorrow! How absolutely exciting! I will be praying for the transition. God's grace is sometimes a little bit like morphine. His grace takes the sting out of things. I pray His amazing grace will be with all of you the next 2 weeks.

    ReplyDelete
  29. so happy for your family and that little boy gets to be apart of it!

    ReplyDelete
  30. SO wonderful! I can't wait to hear all about your weekend! What a wonderful journey!

    ReplyDelete
  31. I have never commented before, but as tears roll down my face I feel the need to tell you something. You and your sweet Ben are doing something that most of us don't have the courage to do. You are going to take that sweet little boy's life and make it grand. Something really special is about to happen. He has no idea how that small, brief meeting has changed his life for the better. I am in awe of your strength. Many blessing to y'all!

    ReplyDelete
  32. aawwww... my heart overflowing with joy and excitement...and little bit uncertainty... but knowing that God is there and He will guide you...

    when we met kellen he was 18 months and he was living with his maternal granddad and mom... i remembered praying and asking God that if kellen is our son, please let there be a bond between him and my husband (marcel). When we entered the flat, kellen looked up, walked over to marcel and held his hands out for marcel to pick him up... my heart leaped...

    but how i remember how much i wanted to hold him... and for 2 weeks i chose to stay in the background... because i knew that my time will come to cuddle and love on him...

    i'm sitting there right beside you...watching... loving him from afar... wanting to hug him and tell him you love him...

    such exciting times... our God is great and the timing is perfect... He knows.

    Praying for your mama heart and your family of 4 xx

    ReplyDelete
  33. I've been reading your blog ever since Tyrus was little, and I've enjoyed following your journey. After I read this post, I just had comment and commend you for choosing to have a transition time. As a foster mom, I've seen the value of a transition time, a time for the child to see that the adults in the situation (adoptive parents, foster parents)trust each other,and a time for the child to begin to learn to know and trust the adoptive family. It's such an emotional time, and hard, but so worth it. Congratulations on your beautiful boy!

    ReplyDelete
  34. Words can't describe how much I love this post!

    ReplyDelete
  35. This is all such good news. Ben related to me how well the day went. I'll be waiting patiently for my turn. Love you all.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Congrats!! So excited for you. I got goosebumps and my heart skipped a beat for you and your family. So happy for the 4 of you! I think the 2 wk transition is perfect for all of you. Best always!

    ReplyDelete
  37. Ok, totally not on topic, but he's BROWN!!!! <3

    ReplyDelete
  38. I have to admit something, I found his profile on your state's website. Those eyes were all I needed to find him! I've been praying for him often. Praying that those eyes will very soon filled with love and peace.

    ReplyDelete
  39. So glad you finally got to meet him. Transition is good for everyone involved. Gives you chance to learn from his current foster mom all the special details about him before he comes home.

    So glad he's almost home and the next chapter can begin.

    ReplyDelete
  40. so excited to see your family grow in numbers and love. looking forward to watching our boys grow up together!

    ReplyDelete
  41. Little Boy is absolutely beautiful! He captures my heart in a wonderful way. I pray God wraps the explosion of love from your hearts and wraps your love around Little Boys heart a way that He only can. May your love bring acceptance,safety,curiosity,delight and just everything his little heart needs. Thank you Father for bringing Little Boy to Rebekah,Ben and little Ty!

    ReplyDelete
  42. I am elated!!! Woww..your persistence and prayer paid off. I can't wait to hear more about your miracle. Praises be to God who made all this possible. I will be praying for you now more than ever.

    ReplyDelete