Monday, March 19, 2012
Meet LJ. The newest special member of our family.
Our first day as four went something like this...
I set Ty on the pavement of the agency's parking lot, preparing for LJ's tears at leaving his foster mom. Ty immediately ran to his brother for a hug. He said, "Hi, LJ. I'm Ty."
LJ responded with, "Hi, Ty."
Ty looked up at me and said, "Mama! He talks!" As if the idea had never crossed his mind.
We all laughed.
Ben took one and I took one to strap in their respective car seat. Neither paid us any mind and talked about their favorite things. I remember hearing a random "Hot Dogs!" and "I like circles." You know. The important things.
They were really cute.
Ty talked to LJ the entire time to the park. LJ mostly listened, but copied everything Ty asked him to do. "See if you can touch the ceiling, LJ," and "Show me how old you are." Ty was pretty much a steady stream of bossy chatter, asking LJ all about his brothers and sisters (when he wasn't mentioned he added, "And I'm your brother!"), and asking me, "What color is LJ, mom?"
We went to the park and bookstore and playplace at McD's. Ty and LJ held hands everywhere we went. People stared everywhere we went. I smiled and felt love pouring from my heart.
Twice LJ wrapped his little arms around my neck and let me hold him close. I kissed his soft hair and told him how much I loved him. I asked him if he would like to come play at our house and his big saucer eyes nodded yes.
Ben and I didn't have titles or agendas or expectations; we just quietly enjoyed watching our two boys together. Both so different, yet so similar.
On the way back to the agency, Ty asked if we could keep him (I assured him we would) and wondered, out loud, where LJ's mama was. I tried to appease him by saying that LJ was living with his foster mama, right now, until he could come home with our family. Ty pressed, "No, mom, his other mom. Where is his first mama?"
He's a perceptive little guy.
When we got back to the agency, foster mom was waiting and had two of her adopted kids there. We stood and talked to the foster mom for quite some time while the four kids played. While foster mom retold her adopted kids stories, my heart filled with warmth for her for making a difference. For doing something great.
The school age girl's mother was addicted to cocaine and died from an overdose shortly after her birth. I later looked in the girl's eyes and told her I had never seen prettier dimples on someone in my whole life. Her face lit up like Christmas and I thanked God for his goodness.
These beautiful kids have the most horrific stories. But God. He is moving and leading and changing lives - especially mine.
At one point, LJ slipped on the gravel and looked up with hurt in his eyes. Without thinking, I ran to him and put him in my lap, kissing the palms of his hands. I heard foster mom say, behind me, "She's got this mom thing." At that moment, it didn't occur to me that she was still mom.
I am thankful for her acceptance of us.
We all hugged and kissed our baby boy goodbye and told him we would be back to visit.
Foster mom texted me later, saying, "Thank you for picking him out of all the kids in the world. You are getting a gem. Meeting you has eased my fears."
I can hear God's song rising.
Our story is far from over.
LJ's fifth sibling (sister) is one month old and in care. I would love for her to join our family, but my complete trust is in our heavenly father for her. It's a messy family file. While baby girl rests in the palms of Jesus, my eyes are focused on the second little boy to steal my heart.
Our third visit's tomorrow.