Thursday, March 29, 2012

Homecoming

As I type, my boys are both in room next door giggling and whispering.  Ty just said, "LJ how's your day been?"

LJ, "It was good."

"My day was good too, buddy."

We had a GREAT day.

It was crazy similar to our homecoming with Ty.

We showed up at the agency prepared for a formal meeting with lots of paperwork and signing and were surprised by the casual "everyone-good-to-go?" gathering in the lobby. We signed two pieces of paper before LJ's caseworker volunteered to walk outside with us to the car.

I felt the same quick panic that I did when we left the hospital with Ty. I remember yelling in my head, "Wait! Are you really sending us home with this kid to raise for the rest of our lives? We're not ready! We don't know what we're doing! HELP!"

Same feeling today.

When we left Rebekah back in Colorado to head for home, I cried for miles. I couldn't handle the pain that I knew existed in her heart. It was too much.

Same feeling today.

Before we got in the van, I  offered fresh flowers to G-Mama, with a from-one-mom-to-another card, and held her for a long time. We both cried.

My parting words were -

Luke 6 says, Give and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.  Thank you for using a big measure. We can only repay you with LJ's life. We will give him our all and trust God with the rest...

I cried for her bleeding heart as we left for home and reminded Ben how difficult this part of the journey is for me. I am indebted to these women for taking such loving care of my sons before I could...They are forever a part of our story.

We relaxed at home all day, today. We played trains and dinosaurs and kitchen. The boys wrestled with Ben on the floor for over an hour. LJ kept kissing Ben's head, saying, "I love you, dad."

My favorite part of today was bedtime. Ben laid with LJ; I laid with Ty. The lights were dimmed as we said our prayers and worshiped. I could barely make it through Jesus Loves Me as I snuggled Ty close and watched Ben do the same with LJ from across the room.

I feel undeserving of such a well-written God story.

After Ty fell asleep, I could hear LJ in his bed, sniffing for his mommy. I stretched out next to him and laid my head on his chest. I softly sang, I love you Lord...and I lift my voice... he didn't stop whimpering, but he did put his chubby hands around my neck. I continued, Let it be a sweet, sweet sound in your ear... When I went to lift my head up from him, he quickly put his hand on my cheek and pulled me back in.

It was right then that I knew. We're going to be okay.

God will help us do this.

 

30 comments:

  1. What a beautiful first day! God is good!

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  2. Precious, precious love story from God. I have read your story for years, and just love you and your heart. Blessings on your newest chapter!

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  3. God bless your precious little family. :) Happy homecoming to LJ!

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  4. That last paragraph has me undone. Beautiful, precious woman of God. YOU ARE EQUIPPED! Can't wait to meet LJ! Love you.

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  5. You little stinker... STOP MAKING ME CRY! xo :)

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  6. I'm kind of a blubbering baby after reading that. I remember each coming home day like it was yesterday. Peace to your family. God is love.

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  7. Great first day. Your heart is so in the right place how you accept and embrace the Mommas before you came along.

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  8. I have been waiting for this post all day and tell the story of your day to my husband like I know you, though I've never met you. You are such an amazing woman and such an inspiration. I am constantly in tears reading your thoughts and experiences. Thank you so much for being so willing to share with the world your amazing story.

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  9. Beautiful post. It seems the sadness that comes with adoption gets bigger the older they are when they come to you. I could feel LJ's grief as you described him whimpering in his bed. It made me cry. And I certainly could feel yours as you described love you have for the mommas who came before you. He couldn't have a better, more understanding mom to guide him through this transition. Can't wait to continue to read more about your beautiful family of FOUR:)!

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  10. Happy Homecoming, LJ! What a beautiful story God is writing for your family! God bless!!

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  11. Now that that's done...you have a lot of updates to do as far as pictures on this blog! Get to work, girl! Ha! Ha!

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  12. This post is amazing. Your words always touch me and bring me to chills. Can't wait to see pictures! Happy Coming Home LJ!

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  13. and please remember that your prayer warriors are out here praying for your family as you transition, what a privelege to walk beside you in your journey.

    I love it when the Holy Spirit brings you and your family to mind, it's my reminder to pray for you at that time. I don't need to know why but just to be holding you up to our Heavenly Father who has given us Jesus, we are family!

    Kim M

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    1. I absolutely agree! You've got people covering your family in prayer from all over the world!

      Thank you for not only sharing the high points, but also the challenges, so we truly can be standing with you in prayer!

      Lisa in CA

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  14. Wow! That brought tears to my eyes. It is so amazing there really are no adequate words. Proverbs 11:25 A generous man will prosper; he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed. I will pray this verse for G-Mama. To do what she does takes a generous heart and she certainly refreshes others. How difficult and how loving at the same time. God bless your family Rebekah! Your hearts are huge!

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  15. This was wonderful. It almost made me cry. Love you all.

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  16. So Happy for you!!! I wish you all the happiness in the world!!!!

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  17. I hope no one walks in my office right now...I am all tears here at work.

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  18. Holy tears batman!!!! What a lovely end to your first day with LJ as a permanent member of your family. My heart hurts for his sadness and not understanding of why he has been moved from home to home. I am beyond thrilled there is one less sweet angel no longer in foster care and in his forever home. Can't wait to read about your adventures with two two year olds! Seriously, can life get any better. God bless adoption :)

    Heather

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  19. Praying for you, and praising the amazing God that we serve!

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  20. I'm in love with this story! Prayers going up! :)

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  21. God bless you all Rebekah!
    Much Love,
    The O'Mearas

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  22. oh rebekah....i'm in tears....you are ALL going to be amazing together! much much love!!

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  23. Your blog makes my hert smile. LJ is a lucky little boy. Congrats on expanding your family. Ty sounds like an amazing little guy, their going to be best friends and brothers! You are blessed.

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  24. Thank you, thank you, thank you for the way you honor your boys' other mamas. As a former foster mama myself, I love to see that. It doesn't make the pain of loss go away, but it helps. And LJ and Ty both benefit as well. May God bless your days and your family as you grow into this miracle.

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  25. ugh!!! girl.. you always make me cry. I love you from afar,, I love you as my cousins mom,, I love you as my sister, my friend, my teacher. Thank you for oozing so much Jesus, and Thank You Jesus for giving Rebekah the gift of writing and story telling.

    mwah.. kisses

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