Not to Read

I want to thank everyone for your input on the subject of whether or not to read Rebekah's letters for Ty. Ben and I discussed it at length...and the points many of you brought up.

We've decided to leave the letters sealed.

It was my initial leaning and Ben confirmed it when we talked it through. Ty will never lack for information. He will always know Rebekah...and Rebekah's kids...and Rebekah's family. There are pictures in his nursery, a birth day scrapbook (which mommy hasn't started, yet), a binder full of every email Rebekah and I ever wrote to each other, and presumably birthday cards and gifts throughout the year from his first family. All of those items are available to Tyrus.

Ben and I want him to grow in the confidence of the Lord. To know who he is, where he came from, and his purpose in life. When he's three I want him to proudly be able to tell strangers at the park "I'm adopted!"...when he gets his first A on a big test, I want him to come home and celebrate - and then call Rebekah...When he graduates high school we want his first family there. There will be no secrets, no underlying "monsters," and certainly no dramatic moments.

This is Ty's testimony; his life. We are so thankful to have the relationship with Rebekah and her family that we do. He will never lack love from either side or have to piece together his story. Even the birth father has made strides to check on Ty. I hold on to every piece of knowledge I have...printing emails, writing out phone conversations, saving cards. I know these will be treasures later.

When it comes to the letters, we really feel like they are an extra special gift for Ty. Something special for him to read when he's ready (we have no pre-determined date/age). The letters aren't going to reveal some unfound truth or secret that's been hidden...they are love letters...straight from Rebekah's heart.

Sweet Rebekah read my words and emailed me a copy of the letter she wrote, so I wouldn't have to physically open the one in my hands. It was an honest, heartfelt read. Reading through her words, confirmed that the intimacy they held were for Ty's eyes alone. I know how she feels. I know her love for him. I get to hear it in her voice, see it through her blog, and read it in her emails. All of her words for Ty are the same ones I would use in describing her love to him...

However, he will get the added bonus of actually reading them himself. For the first time. We are at peace with our decision. With so many pieces of his story already shared, I'm glad our little man has something special...just for him...that he doesn't have to share.

There was one line in Rebekah's letter that brought my heart to its knees. It will replay every time a new letter is found in the shuffle of mail:

...I love your mom and dad, they are amazing people and I thank God for bringing them into my life because even though you came from my belly, you were meant to be there son....

I wish that every adoption out there included a woman like Rebekah. She is remarkable; she is the first mother to my son. With that...the letters will remain unopened...bundled together for my babyheart, when he's ready.