How Great is Our God

I'm not trying to turn this into a super-spiritual mega blog or a variation of. I hope that no matter where your belief in God lies, you find this blog to be a well of encouragement. A realistic view of open adoption from a girl that once had a very dark heart...hallowed by heartache and anger...that now lives on the mountain of motherhood and can't stop singing praises for her little man. If you only know the highs of my story, please go back and read the lows...it's the only way to grasp the full miracle of this precious baby boy.

Yesterday, was our first Sunday back in our home church. Maybe one day I'll be able to stand in church and not cry...but yesterday was not that day. My heart just overflows with thankfulness for our sweet baby boy.

It's not just thankfulness for him...it's everything.

I cannot believe the incredible flood of support we've received from everyone. Our family...friends...this community. All hearts, big and small, were rooting for our son. Our friend's little girl told her, "Mom, someday I want to adopt a little baby just like Ty." I love it! I love that this boy is a walking testimony. I hope that his life does change the lives of others. I hope that people will want to hear his story and that he'll confidently tell it. I hope people will look at him and want to adopt. I hope that people will see him and see Jesus.

The flow of gifts and cards have been unbelievable and many of them from you (FYI: Sarah you'll get a special salute in an upcoming post. We LOVED your gift!) . We've gotten so much mail from people we've connected with, but never met. People standing in celebration with us.

We are humbled beyond words.

About halfway into our journey home, we received a call from our attorney, at the agency. We were still steaming over their lack of professionalism and let the call go to voice mail. The message went something like this, "Hi Ben, this is __________. Now that we're doing the finalization we'll need to have you return the contract I attached in a recent email to you, with payment, before we can proceed. Both items need to be received by the end of the month."

Funny thing. We thought they were doing the finalization the whole time. And the money they need by the end of the month? It's $3,000.00 and we thought we'd have until January to pay it off. The finalization, afterall, doesn't take place until then.

We were too excited to be on our way home to let it ruin our day. After a few days passed we started to stress a little. Even with the help we've received, this adoption has sucked our pockets clear. The little bit of money we had tucked away - and by little bit, I mean $800 - was going to help alleviate the pressure of me taking unpaid leave to be home with Ty.

Someone asked me a few days ago, "Is there anything you guys need?" She was referring to baby items: clothes, bibs, bottles, etc. My head screamed, "YAH. MONEY."

I spent the weekend getting our house settled, wading through the massive pile of mail, and reconciling our bank account. I was shocked to find extra money in our account (partly because we spent way less than saved, while out-of-state) and a few pieces of mail containing cash/checks for our finalization...all were sent anonymously. We were feeling pretty good on Saturday night that we only needed 1000 more dollars for the agency.

After worship, on Sunday, an envelope was handed to us with exactly that. I don't even know if the person knew what we needed or when we needed it by. But God knew. God provided the full $3000 that we needed...and we didn't have to do anything. How great is our God?

I am overwhelmed by the miracle of my son. He is living proof that not only is there a God, but that he is marvelously faithful...even when we're not. I know that God has big things planned for little Tyrus, giving him a story like this.

Yesterday the tears were flowing as we sang Chris Tomlin's, How Great is Our God.

Age to age he stands
Even when I was a crumpled mess on the floor and it felt like I'd been run over by a truck.

And time is in His Hands
He saw me take my first pregnancy test...

Beginning and the End,
He held me as I wept and walked out the door of my last RE visit...

Beginning and the End
His heart paralleled mine as we held Ty for the first time...

How great is our God
Of the thousands of blogs out there, God used a longtime web friend of Rebekah's, whose real life friend told her about my blog, to connect us to our son...

Sing with me, How great is our God
He took care of every detail...weaving our story before it ever began...

And all will see how great...how great...is our God.

Just as the rainbow reminds us of God's promise, I will forever look at Ty and remember His greatness.