Saying goodbye to Rebekah was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I'm not sure I'll ever be able to look at these pictures again...they represent such sadness...My tears started before we ever arrived. We were leaving to go home. I didn't know it was possible for your heart to sing its loudest and weep its hardest at the same time. Some refer to these moments as bittersweet, but I can't. It doesn't fit.
I sent a quick text to Rebekah that we were on our way over. Every mile closer made me cry a little harder. How in the world do you say goodbye to such a woman? I’ve received great gifts before…but not like this. This woman gave me life. And I mean that in every form. Not only did she give me her child…but she wrote my next chapter. Our life had been a stand-still, time warp for five years. Her gift…the greatest gift (second only to Christ)…filled my heart with life.
How do you thank someone for that?
Her door flung open, I grabbed her…and we cried. Ben immediately took Ty out of his seat and handed him to his first mother. She rocked him and held him close. I choked back sobs. I watched another woman caress my son and drink in every part…the same way I do…from his button nose to his chubby toes.
Except it isn’t just another woman. It’s the woman. It’s a strange dynamic. Unless you've stood in these shoes, there's no way to express the difficulty...Seeing Rebekah nestle him close, the water in her eyes, the bleeding of her heart…there was no denying her as his mother. Yet, I too, only after three short weeks, am his mother…and feel like his mother.
You can only imagine the goodbye emotions of two mothers…over one son. Our love for him the very same. It was so hard.
We both put on big girl faces. Our goodbye was brief. Our tears real - but limited. I know she was holding back…because I was too. If I had opened the floodgates of my heart, I wouldn’t have been able to leave.
We shared lingering hugs. All I could say was, “There aren’t enough words to thank you.” She nodded her understanding, behind a veil of tears. I promised her that we would give Ty our all…and thank her with his life.
And we were on our way.