Thursday, July 2, 2009

We're Still Here...

It was a frustrating day...

12:00pm (2:00pm MI time) I call our agency, here, to see if there's any word on when we can leave. I leave a message.

1:00pm (3:00pm MI time) Lo and behold, Michigan ICPC called them this morning and said there was some confusion with our finalization. Because we want to finalize in Michigan, they have to administer a certificate of approval...and to do that they needed confirmation of finalization from our Michigan agency...

Agency here was confused as to why they needed to do the certificate thing, because they've never dealt with that before...but Michigan ICPC said they had contacted our agency and it would only take a few more days...

For good measure, I call our Michigan agency to see if ICPC had, in fact, called them...and they hadn't. We left a message for their legal rep to call us back so we could figure out what the heck was going on...

In the mean time, we track down a phone number for Michigan ICPC and leave them a message ourselves...

An hour later (We were counting every minute), our phone call was returned and Michigan agency said they weren't supposed to be doing the finalization - the agency, here, was taking care of that and we shouldn't have to be doing all this back and forth's the job of our current agency...

Ben gets involved. He calls our current agency back and tells them the above which they reply, "We aren't responsible for doing the finalization - your Michigan agency is doing that."


We're beyond frustrated at this point, especially since the work day is all but over in Michigan...We know it's not Michigan's fault...all blame lies with our current delinquent agency. They are the largest, here...I can't imagine how they ever achieved that status!

Ben, very pointedly, but politely (we need friends at this point...not enemies) asked them to do their job and stop pawning their responsabilities off on us. He calmly explained that we just want to go home and want them to do whatever's necessary to make that happen.


Current agency calls us back very quickly (Ben's pressure must have worked!) and explains that if we're willing to do our finalization, here (and it can be done over the phone) then Michigan ICPC can process the paperwork quickly. Possibly even "today" in the words of the secretary.


3:00pm (5:00pm MI time) - no call from the agency.

Michigan ICPC never returned our phone call.


We wait until 4:30pm (here) to call back...hoping maybe it could still happen. No information is given, beyond hope, that maybe we'll get the call tomorrow morning...

We literally stood by the phone all day, packed up the cottage, and gave Rebekah a frustrating. What really gets me is that once I had time to digest the whole situation I distinctly remember talking to our caseworker in Michigan who gave me all of our options for finalization. I remember settling on finalizing here...and we were told then that it could all be done over the phone. How in the world did our agency, here, screw that up? Once we were matched with Rebekah we pulled out of our Michigan agency - they are only responsible for our post placements and the final court hearing ("finalization" refers only to the paperwork that needs to be filed). Our agency here has done EVERYTHING else. All the paperwork. Don't you think it falls under their responsability to make sure everything is worked out???

I can't tell you how many times they asked me to call our Michigan agency for information...shouldn't that have been their job?


I can only imagine how long we would have been stuck here if we didn't call today...

Sorry for the "vent" post. This whole process sucks.

Hopefully, we DO get the call tomorrow morning and can head home. In the mean time, I didn't let the mess ruin my day. I still am the mother of the cutest kid on the planet and we had lots of cuddle time, today, as we waited at the cottage.

He continues to change everyday and his little expressions crack me right up! As much as I long for home, I'd stay here forever if that's what needed to happen, for me to continue being his mom.

My heart is so full, it hurts with love for him.


  1. Just remember it's all so totally worth it.

  2. Wow...Ty is NOTHING short of ADORABLE!!! I love the new picture! Enjoy these early days...for matter how hectic.

  3. Oh my! No fun! No fair!

    That flat out sucks!

    I guess this is another "snaffoo" in the whole adoption process! Is there anything easy about this whole process? I don't think so. I guess the waiting part can be considered easy...?

    So sorry to hear about the mess!!! Baby Ty needs to get home to his sweet nursery!

    Thinking of you... Safe travels with your little love bug and your big love bug!

  4. WOW...that is INSANSE!! It makes me upset just reading it...that is exactly part of what you've paid for, and no way should you have to be calling around like that. They have received plenty of money to be taking care of that sort of thing. I'm SO sorry you're having to deal with all that...praying for a resolution this morning!! :) And way to stay positive through it're almost home girl! :)

  5. I continue to keep you and your family in my prayers and hope that you will get home soon! I cannot imagine the stress involved. Rest assured, you are doing everything that you can. Ty is just cute beyond words.

  6. Ok, so now I'm praying TODAY is the day! I was rejoicing last night b/c I saw Rebekah's news that you were leaving today...I'm sorry it's becoming such a huge hassle. Incompetence is one of my pet peeves, too! I'm so glad you have Ty to love on while you wait! I LOVE his hair! Looking for good news soon:)

  7. That sweet little face! Rebekah, he is so precious! (And perfect, might I add!) What a fiasco, but I'm sure things will be worked out TODAY!

  8. Oh my - what a nightmare with the agencies! It will all be worthwhile in the end! Wow - he IS changing every day!! Adorable!

  9. I hope you get the call soon. I remember waiting for that call. It seemed like an eternity. All I wanted to do was to go HOME.

    Prayers for a safe journey!

  10. wow, you are right the process and paper work sucks. period.

    Ty is getting cuter every day (if it is possible to be cuter than he already was!) it looks like he is gaining weight and growing! I am so glad he is in your arms and I will be so happy for you once this is all done!

  11. Unbelievable ! Is the confusion because becky found u thru a blog rather than thru their agency? Simply unbelievable!

  12. He looks so different from the first pictures. It's amazing how fast they change...good luck on getting home quickly...PRAYERS.

  13. Boy, that stinks! From my experience, the organizations "here" do not put children and families first! (unfortunately!) I've seen it in the school, with social service agencies and now adoption. I hope you get the call and go home today!

  14. Well he IS cute, but I have to amend it to "one of the cutest kids on the planet!" J/K...

    I'm so sorry for all the hassle and frustration, I can't even imagine having to deal with all that on top of being a bran new mom.

    Hang in there, I am saying prayers that it all falls into place and you can come home SOON!



  15. OH My GOSH...How do they get sooo screwed up?! When we had a failed adoption in Chicago 2 summers ago we went through the same mess. We even had OUR social worker tell us that she was done working for the day and was going home to take her dog out (this was about 2pm). WHAT?? We needed to make some sort of plan to GET HOME! And there was such a mess to be worked out before that could ever happen and we deperately needed her to sort it all out. Ugh. She kept passing her responsibilities off on us too. No one should have to go through this after all we (you and I) went through to get here. I am so sorry this has been so frustrating for you and Ben. You are so right. You have to advocate for yourself and do lots of the leg work for them. I don't know why and it's not fair but in the end all you want is to be home with your family. Hang in there. I am praying you get that call this morning. If not, just keep bugging the hell outa them until they get you home!! :)
    Baby Ty needs to go home where he belongs with his mommy and daddy!! ((HUGS)) Oh, and he is ADORABLE! I love those chubby cheeks!!

  16. I feel so for your frustration. We've adopted internationally and I thought domestic was supposed to be so much easier than what you are experiencing. I agree you need to stay on top of the agency. Perhaps a phone call every hour will do the trick?
    Praying you get home soon.

  17. Praying things work out for you so you guys can rejoin your family! The old devil loves to try to wreck the Lord's beautiful work, but try as he may you still have the cutest son in the world!! Stand strong sweetie because I know the adoption process can be horrendous at times but the end result is being a mother to a beautiful child!! Praying you're home soon!

  18. Simply ridiculous. I hope these agencies get their act together SOON. Ty looks like an angel :)

  19. I'm so sorry for your frustration. Gosh - I was getting frustrated at the agency just reading your post!

    Hope everything gets worked out today. How very frustrating, but what an adorable picture of your little guy.

  20. he's just beautiful and i can't tell you how much i understand your desire to go home. :) fortunately our agency was way more on the ball and got things done quickly, but i just can't imagine the feelings of frustration you are going through at this just want to go home......not too much to ask ~ you've been there forever! :)hope you get really good news today!! :)

  21. I have been praying for you all day yesterday and continue today. Hopefully you get the call this morning!

  22. Oh, man. :(

    I remember dealing with ICPC frustration (NOTHING like what you are dealing with though). I understand how you are feeling!

    We finalized over the phone and it was very, very simple.

    Good luck!!!

  23. Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry! That all does sound frustrating!!!

  24. I am so glad you are finally going to get to go home. At some point your viewing public :) would love to hear how you were able to manage in your small cabin in the woods. My husband and I really would love to hear about the lessons learned. What was not worth bringing and what things you wished you had brought.

    I am soooo happy for you and can't wait to see how this story proceeds for you.