Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Day 72...er...or Day 73 (it's 12:09am)

When days don't go as planned...

Why am I so surprised when things don't go as planned? You'd think I would have learned by now! First of all, I sat down to order our profile pictures and realized that my pictures were WAY too large for the alloted sizes. I had spent all my time concentrating on picking close-up shots, that I failed to read the dimensions I was given to work with. It is impossible to shrink down a 4x6 face shot to fit a 2.5x3.5 slot! I had to redo most of our pictures [sigh] and spent a good chunk of time searching for new ones! Ben and I quickly took some new pics in the front yard for our "Rebekah Loves..." and "Ben Loves..." sections. I don't like mine as much as the first, but hopefully you think the ones we chose are warm and friendly!

I was then told that I talk too much...about adoption. Yup. Allegedly, it's all I talk about. [How can I not?] I try to live a balanced life, but apparently I'm failing miserably at it. Such a small comment reeked havoc on my emotions. I just wanted to throw my hands in the air and scream. If I'm not being invited to baby showers or asked when we're going to have kids, I'm being told my heart is consumed with adoption. I can't win. Seriously, people. Throw a girl a bone! My initial reaction was anger, but thankfully holy spirit breath rested on my heart. Although I don't understand how someone who can get pregnant should question my quest for trying, I let it go and made a conscious decision to not talk about adoption unless asked. I don't want to dominate conversations and bore people to tears! Thankfully, this is an adoption blog, so I can speak freely here!

As if the pictures and my talking weren't enough to send me over the edge, our caseworker called to cancel our meeting today (Round two of homestudy--out of three). In one fell swoop I was flabbergasted, indignant, and totally disappointed. Don't these people know that we wait with baited breath for every meeting...every step closer to our baby? How COULD she cancel? I had to take a deep breath and remember that although my life may revolve around this process, hers certainly doesn't. It's a job. She could have canceled for any number of reasons and it's her prerogative. Although I'd still like her to come to a meeting whether ill or not, she definitely shouldn't have to! I was completely bummed out, but thankfully she re-scheduled for Wednesday, so I don't have to wait too long!

The good news? Our little cancellation plus two extra tickets, came to equal one fantastic night of Bon Jovi!!The profile pictures turned out fine, maybe I do talk incessantly about adoption, and we're still able to meet with our case worker, this week. Nothing earth shattering and well worth the fun night with my heart sisters. I couldn't live life without them!

Real girls. Genuine hearts. No boundary friendship.
Love you Laura and Andi!


  1. I love the new profile pics...actually I like the new ones even more than the old ones! Good call!

    I'm surprised that someone chastized you about being excited about your adoption. Unless it's ALL you talk about, I would guess that you're just excited and want to "share the love" so to speak.

    Anyone that truly knows you will know that this is something that will demad a great deal of your attention, both physicaly and emotionally. f it were a stranger or acquaintence, then I usually let them off. But a friend or family memer, that might be education time.

    And you're right, that's why we're here, so talk all you want, sista! [grin]

    p.s. that Bon Jovi show looks like it totally ROCKED!

  2. Love the new picts. Looks like a great night...even with all the unexpected events.

  3. The last comment was from me...apparently;y chris was logged into his google account and his name came up and I was not paying attention. love you

  4. The pics are beautiful - LOVE 'em!

    Whoever told you that you talk about adoption too much ... phooey on them!! If you were pregnant you would talk about that. Same thing!!! YOU ARE EXPECTING A BABY! It is natural and RIGHT to talk about it! I know that this is a fine line to walk, but just follow your heart.

    Ans as far as the cancellation goes - I know that is hard to deal with when you are so totally excited and your world is revolving around it, but just believe that there is a reason and God will work it all out in HIS timing! Hard to handle when HIS timing is not YOUR timing - but His is ALWAYS the best!

    And you are right. You can discuss adoption all you want here and we will ALWAYS come back for more ... and more ... and more!

    I am so excited for you!

  5. I agree wholeheartedly with beckyjomama...pregnant people talk about their babies-to-be non-stop, and new mothers talk about their infants until they're blue int he face...(the mothers, NOT the infants! j/k) Anyway...the point is, you should have been angry at that comment. I'm glad you've made peace with it now, but I still think that was uncalled for.

    The bottom line is that people who haven't lived this particular cycle of hope and despair don't understand it. They don't realize that now that we've chosen adoption, it is with us no matter where we are or what we're doing. As prospective adoptive parents, we're thinking about adoption on some level at all times...just like other people are thinking about their kids all the time. This whole experience...infertility and then adoption...becomes woven into the fabric of who we are, and I think we have every right to talk about it when--and as much as--we need to! Okay, so enough of that rant, but I guess I felt your pain at the sting of that rebuke. Thank Goodness for blogging, huh?! That's seriously one thing I love about this place...we all 'get it' without explanations because we've all lived it!

    As for the new profile pictures, I can relate to that frustration. I actually really like the new ones though, you guys look happy and friendly! Also glad you got to go see Bon Jovi. I saw him in concert a couple of years ago and it was GREAT!!

    Here's to less frustrating days ahead!


  6. don't quit talking about your adoption process-everyone here loves it.

    i am sure that person just doesn't understand and that is ok.

    i am glad you had a fun night out :) won't it be neat when you can't go because you have to stay home with your baby. it is neat that God has prepared a road for you that will make you feel blessed when you can't go because of your little one! :)

  7. Rebekah...I do not think you talk about adoption too much! I am not just saying it either! I find you very willing to talk about it, and very open about it, but I don't see where this person is coming from.

    You are expecting...and it is true, people who are expecting talk about it. So just keep being filled with joy about this new life and forget about holding back. Holding back is not you. Just be you.

    By the way, I love the rug you bought for the baby's room. I can't wait to see it all put together!

  8. I love your new photos. You guys are so photogenic!

    I agree with the prior posters. You talking about adoption is no different than a pregnant woman talking about her pregnancy/baby. Talk away!

    The concert looked awesome. I grew up on Bon Jovi in the 80s.

  9. WHO TOLD YOU THAT???? I am steamin', stormin' MAD!!!! I don't really want to know, but if said person checks your blogs:

    EXCUSE ME????????

    You have a sincere, heartfelt, tear-filled apology to make.

    Bek, you are allowed to have it be ALL you talk about (which, FOR THE RECORD, it is NOT)! You are expecting a baby! Show me another first time mom who doesn't talk primarily about her coming baby?

    Wow. You have no reason to feel guilty or change your habits in sharing your heart. I for one LOVE hearing every detail about the process. TALK LOUD. And let whomever work through their own issues.

    Love you,

    Your Steamed Friend

  10. that is why blogging is so good for the soul... such a great venue for releasing our feelings and thoughts whenever and however we want. please don't stop talking about it here!
    the new photos look great and, BON JOVI?! hello fun!!

  11. The pics look awesome! I can't believe people say you talk about adoption too much. It's hard not to want to stand up to them and fight for your soon-to-be children. Hang in there, this too shall pass.

    And eventually you'll all be talking about sleepless nights and potty training, it's just the getting there that counts.

  12. The new pictures are fabulous! I love the one of you.

    I can understand people chastising you about talking about adoption. I feel like I talk so much about IF and pregnancy desires that I bore people to death (mostly my husband). That's why I joined the blogging world. Vent all you want on the blog!! We're hear (here) for you. :o)

    I would totally agree with Beckyjomama -- you are expecting a baby! It's totally expected that you would be excited about it. I would say talk away!!

    Although -- not knowing who said the comment -- would the person maybe be having trouble conceiving? I wonder what the root of the comment was - nonchalant or something else?

    Good luck with homestudy tomorrow. Sorry it got delayed. It seems like everything in this whole having a baby process works slowly for me...

    Love the concert pics! Glad you had a great time.

  13. You guys are the best--seriously!! I'm so glad I can count you as friend! Said person has not experienced infertility and I don't think what she said was meant in a harmful way. What threw me off is that I don't have a great (i.e. close) relationship with this person so it really hurt my feelings that she would feel this way. Even the conversations about adoption that we've had are more surface--nothing deep--and I certainly wouldn't say it's all I talk about with her.

    It also hurt because it wasn't said to my face--it was said to Ben. But, all that being said, I feel much more confident after hearing all your comments! We all get put in similar positions and have to remember that those that love us most know our hearts and wouldn't say such things. Those that make hurtful off-the-wall comments really don't have our best interests at heart. I find solace in my true friends who are rejoicing with me in this journey.

    Thanks for the encouragement!!!

  14. I love the new pictures.

    What do they mean by telling you that you talk to much about adoption? How much time do pregnant people spend talking about their pregnancies, births, etc.

    Of course you talk about adoption. This is a big change in your life. And you have the right to talk about whatever you want.

  15. Love the new pictures, just as much as the old ones!

    I am really offended that someone would say that you talk about adoption too much. Clearly it is their issue, not yours. Maybe this person is uncomfortable with being ignorant on the subject, or maybe they just can't handle someone else being so happy/confident in their life choices. Either way, please do not make changes to yourself based on one comment. Share your joy and help educate everyone your can about adoption!

  16. I love the new pictures too. The two of you are so photogenic.

    As for the hurtful comment, I think everyone here is exactly right. This is an incredibly big time of your life, and you should be expected to talk about it. No one has the right to make you feel ashamed.

    What a strong heart you have for being able to rise above it. I'm not sure I could be so strong.

  17. ...you feel free to be you, friend. I love you heaps.

  18. The new pics are super!!!
    And, you know what, SO WHAT if that's all you talk about!!!
    Women that are physically pregnant talk about their pregnancies ALL THE TIME!!! So, why shouldn't you??!!!!! Do not worry about it!!! Talk to someone else that wants to hear!!!
    Jealous of the concert!