The strategy continues to work!! (Blogger was acting funky and didn't post my 12/25 blog until the 28th, you may need to go back and read my last post to hear about my new lease on life!) I just got back from an uber-relaxing vacation with my immediate family and survived the down-time beautifully [Usually down-time = sit around and think about baby-time]!
I had fun loving on my sister's little Nya....
The highlight of the week was family ice skating. Pictures didn't turn out that great due to all the movement, but here's what I have:
It was such a nice trip. My body is rested and my mind clear. I am looking forward to the new year and am trying to move on with my life (planning trips, setting goals, spending money, etc). I am not going to live my life in a "waiting" state anymore...I can't. I cannot continue next year with my life on hold, in hopes that a baby will come around the next corner. Obviously, I do hope our baby is in the very near future, but for sanity purposes, I'm moving on!
As usual, God's timing and stirring is perfect. I had two important packets of information waiting for me when I got home. The first was from Adoption Associates (our agency) and the second was from Bethany Christian Services (the agency I requested info from during last week's rage...and the agency I would pick if we decided to sign up with a second agency).
I opened our agency packet first [I treat every correspondence like gold]. It was a very long letter painting the current picture of Michigan adoption and economic hardship. Nothing really came as an extreme surprise (I get monthly updates) - International adoption has nearly stopped as baby trafficking and border security increases and Domestic adoption has stats equal to half that of last year. Economic hardship has kept new adopting families away and the glamor of celebrity single parenting encourages birthmoms to raise babies on their own (keeping birthmoms away). The letter went on to say that many agencies are being forced to close due to financial strain and that all the above issues have not escaped Adoption Associates. We are required to attend a mandatory meeting on January 12th. The letter was certainly gloom and doom and didn't offer an ounce of encouragement....but miraculously I am at complete peace. I don't foresee the agency closing all together (especially since they just bought out some out-of-state agencies) but I'm sure their news will dramatically effect international adoption (most of the letter was focused on the international issues)...which affects me because those families may jump to domestic....or I could be wrong and they could tell us that they're shutting the doors and we're out our initial investment. Not sure.
I opened the second packet from Bethany Services and didn't have even the slightest interest to thumb through the entire packet. I know that the days I'm on speaking terms with God are outweighed by the days I'm not...but that doesn't erase the lifetime of intimacy with him that I've experienced. The quiet knowing in my soul and peace in my head tell me one thing - God is moving. I have no idea what he's doing in terms of baby, but in terms of me, he's moving mountains in my heart.
I quietly put both packets away for safekeeping and resolved to do nothing (accept attend our meeting on January 12th). It feels right and good.