Day 240

Surely, you have forgotten me, Lord.
Do you remember the passion of my youth?
The infinite praise on my lips?
I shouted your name on earth
and daily danced in your glory.

I have done all that you've asked me to do,
I've lived a life of surrender...
Not because you mandated, but out of love.
You have given me breath to live
and wings to fly.
Your faithfulness has been sung through generations,
and your hope has carried me through.

You are not a lowly god.
You are King of the universe,
Master of the sea -
My friend, my lover, my guide.
You know my heart
and whisper me peace.
My head can't help but bow
in your majestic presence.

Have you forgotten me, Lord?
How much more must I endure?
Do you truly have a plan?
I know your power and speak of your strength.
Why then, O Lord, have you withheld a miracle from me?

Are you going to answer?
You'll have to be loud....
for I cannot hear over the crying in my heart.
Please answer.
Lord, I need an answer.
I need you.

I cannot go on.
Long has been this race.
Your power has escaped me
The song in my heart gone.
And I feel no hope.

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I am certainly not a poet. But rolled in restless sleep last night, wrestling with these words, shouting them in my head, crying them from my eyes. I went to my Bible this morning and found a friend in David. I couldn't help but look at Psalms as David's blog to God. I relate to his realness. The sameness in days - both good and bad. He too wondered about God's plan and questioned his nearness. His paralleled words are my only comfort this morning...

The words of a real poet:
[Psalm 13]

"How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?
How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
and every day have sorrow in my heart?
How long will my enemy triumph over me?
Look on me and answer, O Lord my God.
Give light to my eyes or I will sleep in death;
my enemy will say, 'I have overcome him,'
and my foes will rejoice when I fall.

But I trust your unfailing love;
my heart rejoices in your salvation.
I will sing to the Lord,
for he has been good to me."