[Guest Post from Ben]
To my Little Buddy,
“Be not afraid of greatness; some are born great, some achieve greatness, and others have greatness thrust upon them” – William Shakespeare
Ty, a few weeks after you were born your Mom asked me to write down my thoughts so you could always know how I felt at the beginning. I had trouble at that time putting into words all that I was feeling and experiencing. To try and explain the day I first met you and first kissed you was an impossible task. It still is. From the moment I first held you, I knew it was love, but just saying the word love doesn’t seem to measure up to the overwhelming bursting in my chest that started that day you were born and which continues to grow each day - so much so that most days I can’t even handle it. I think about you and I know I’d give my life for you. I think about keeping you safe and I know I’d suffer unimaginable pain if it meant you could walk through life unscathed. I know that feeling, rather the aching necessity to keep you from harm, is irrational, but it’s how I feel. I now know exactly why parents never stop worrying about their children even into old age. It’s not a choice. It’s an ingrained passion you first feel the instant you hold your little one, and it never goes away. This passion for you Ty is made greater every day by who you are, and that’s the best part, Son. Who you are. Who you are every day. Who you are becoming, and the man you will one day become. One year seems like a short time to draw conclusions from such a young life, but I can absolutely say, Ty, that you are greatness. Here’s to the greatest year a father could have ever asked for, and here’s to my Little Guy.
While we were spending our first three weeks together, in June, in a mountainside cabin, with no air conditioning, you were a sweaty mess. You were grumpy and irritable and had minimal sleep. Or was that all me? I think it was both of us. Right there I knew we were going to be buddies.
You jump up and down and squeal when your Mama walks in the door. I feel that way about her too.
You love to eat, and you love to throw things. We’re gonna spend a lot of time together.
From the start you’ve been a lover. Rocking you to sleep in the nursery as you drift off to sleep with faint giggles and smiles is something I’ll never know what I did to deserve.
You are free with the kisses. We’ll revisit this one in about twelve or thirteen years.
You have the best hair. And eyes. And perfect lips. And cheeks. Seriously, you should see yourself. How I haven’t eaten you yet is beyond me.
We have matching Tigers beanies. It’s awesome.
We’re gonna go fishing with Grandpa soon.
Your Nana is absolutely amazing with you, and you love her.
You know how people always joke about baby boys peeing all over the place every time you change their diaper? Well you’ve never really done that. It’s been nice. Except for one time that was a complete sneak attack in the bathroom at a McDonalds, at the tail end of driving all day somewhere in rural Indiana. You soaked you. You soaked me. I think you soaked Ronald himself. I don’t think we’re welcome back. I was so tired. I don’t even remember what we did. Timing is everything buddy. Good one.
You’re a peanut. On the plus side, you have a nice sized head. That’s great for brains. The world needs doctors Ty. And point guards. Not everyone can be a giant. I think you’re perfect sized. Don’t get down just because other boys your age are shaving already.
I want a kiss. No really, I’m pausing to go give you a kiss……. Ok I’m back. Mom is jealous. We have a funny game at night before we go to bed. Each one of us tries to sneak in and give you kisses before the other one realizes it. You are so sweet.
You are really good in the bike trailer. We got caught in a monsoon the other day and you were a champ. Smiling and being all cute. No surprise there.
You drove cross country before you were a month old. You were lugged up the sides of waterfalls and rock formations before you were two weeks old. You flew back across country before you were a year old. You’re an adventurer. You didn’t really have a choice on this one. See quote at the top.
You were the sweetest boy and loved on your birth family the first time we revisited them when you were ten months old. I was so proud of you. This is another situation you didn’t choose. See quote at the top.
You’ve loved your Mama and me every day for the last year. This wasn’t your choice either. See quote at the top.
You see Ty, that’s the thing about greatness. I’m not here to say that you are great because you are the cutest baby that photographs have ever recorded. That’s a fact, but it’s not greatness. I’m not here to say you are great because of any of the normal reasons that parents brag about their children. All of those things certainly apply, but you, Son, were born into a unique situation and have been exceptional in it. Someday you’ll fully understand the circumstances that have brought us all together, but for now, just know that in the fallen world we live in, situations arise, but God’s redemption is always near. What the enemy meant for evil, our God uses for good. And you are more than good, Son. When other boys your age start to worry about girls and sports, you will have all of that, but will also have the added complication of continually learning and understanding more and more about your adoption. You didn’t choose this exceptional journey. You didn’t choose these challenges. Somehow, I think God knew you would excel, though. I know he didn’t create this situation, but I am certain that he was there working miracles to restore the lives involved and bring redemption to an otherwise impossible situation, on all accounts. You, Son, have brought healing to many. In your one short year you have delivered grace and love to those in need. By being you, Tyrus Lee Pinchback.
My amazing little lover buddy.
Sweet Baby Ty, Good times never seemed so good…..