Thursday, January 8, 2009

Day 255

I know it's been forever, right? turns out there's nothing to write, when there's nothing extraordinary going on in my life [wink]. My strategy to claim adoption ignorance and putting all thoughts of baby outside of my mind is working - no matter how unhealthy it may seem.

I'm in a bizarro state of peace right now and I must say it feels mighty fine. I'm busy at work, getting my groove on at the gym, studying for the GMAT, enjoying exquisite home-cooked meals by Ben, and painting my nails everyday. That's right, painting my nails. Now does that sound like the down-in-the-mouth, heart aching adoptive mother-in-waiting of 2008? My peace is so full that pregos, babies, and adoption news simply skim my baby radar and quickly fall to the wayside. I've had several bloggy friends offer up the services of their agencies and extend a hand of hope and encouragement throughout my frustration. I've casually perused a couple sites, downloaded a packet of info here, and ordered an application there...but each attempt lacked luster and left me underwhelmed. So, I'm done. We have that mandatory meeting with our agency on Monday. Maybe they'll close the doors, maybe they won't. I'm so underconcerned it's startling, but I like it :)

I know my baby will come. I don't know how...or when...or by whom, but baby will come. So, until then I'm living life. And it feels good.

[I know my bloggy background is technically for Christmas, but it makes my heart smile every time I read the side inscription. Celebrate the Season. It's perfect...all year round.]


  1. I pray this is your YEAR!!!

    God knows that your baby will come and He has the most perfecetone out there for you and Ben!!!

  2. I too pray this is your year. You are in my prayers girl! (HUGS)

  3. Enjoy those painted nails. It will be low on your list when baby Pinchback enters your life. :) Praying he/she comes soon!

  4. I think I'm going to paint my nails tomorrow! :) Glad to hear you are doing well...I actually don't think it's unhealthy. We deserve to be happy NOW too, and we should do whatever we need to do to make that happen.


  5. Wow. I'm so impressed. I wish I had your sense of peace right now. Maybe it will come in time for me. Best wishes for Monday. I'll be thinking of you.

  6. I have thoroughly enjoyed following your blog. I just wanted to say "hi" and that I am praying for you. My name is Julie. I just started a blog. I am in the frustrated, stressed out, anxious, and incredibly sad state at this point in my journey. Your blog is great and I look forward to following you through your season...
    I will pray for you everyday... prayers are always good, they are the best instant messages to our God... and He has the answers!!!
    Hugs... Julie G

  7. Great post! Enjoy YOU and your hubby and your nail painting :) It's awesome to be at peace (that's usually when God steps in with a miracle).

  8. I feel like I understand...I feel a lot of peace and optimisim in this season of our lives as well. I'm not sure if it's denial or God's provision, so I'm going with the latter :).

    We would love to get together next Friday, barring any "Snow Events" as they are called at Dan's work!

    Love you and Happy Friday!

  9. I am glad you have found peace and I am sure your nails look great. I also love your background.

  10. I don't know how you're doing it, but I want to do it too! I just don't know how to not be involved in my infertility right now- it is all I can think about. It is easy to forget to "celebrate life" and soon you don't even realize that you're not really living anymore.

    Thanks for the reminder!

  11. Ya know, people ask me ALL THE TIME how I hard it must be and so on. Honestly, all I know is to wait - so I guess I don't think that is hard. I've learned that how the wait effects you is a can be the hardest time of your life, or not. One thing I have HAD to remember is that this isn't MY wait, and it isn't up to me...everything is in HIS hands, and that is exactly the way I want it. If I choose to remove Him from the driver's seat - everything is going to be messed up...that is a choice.

    In this wait, I've become the master of being busy.

    Words of advice...don't NOT do something 'just in case', idle time will be the hardest - so avoid it (I got involved with a bible study and some volunteer stuff), and find a canned thing to say when people ask you if there is any news. My canned speach is "nothing new, still waiting" - that generally stops the (sometimes) unbearable and never ending questions.

    And finally - ALWAYS paint your nails :)