Wednesday, January 22, 2014


This morning, I woke up to an incredible sunrise. Every shade of pink and orange filled the sky and my heart burst with thanksgiving to God. He filled my heart with such peace and I began to sing, Jeremy Camp's, Give Me Jesus:

In the morning, when I rise
In the morning, when I rise
In the morning, when I rise

Give me Jesus.
Give me Jesus,
Give me Jesus.
You can have all this world,
Just give me Jesus.

I hummed through my shower, getting the boys dressed, and breakfast.

I thought about Hosea's faithfulness to God during his tumultuous relationship with his harlot wife and God reminded me that he is not into trickery.

He asks for our hearts. And we've given them.

If we are chosen to parent Lya and Jamar, than it's part of God's plan for our family. If we're not, than God will honor our willingness and direct us, again. As I watched the sun rise, I was awed at the simplicity of it. What is there to be anxious about?

It was just one of those mornings where God shows his face, fills your spirit, and sends you on your way.

Around midday, I got a text from Ben:

We need to do this thing as best as possible...If we don't get picked then we know it's a "no"...otherwise we need to see this through.

I smiled. God wasn't just working in me, this morning, he was moving through Ben, too.

We haven't been talking about this sweet sibling set much because there are just more questions than we have answers and, truth be told, everything on the outside says to turn the other way...

An hour later, Ben sent another text. This time it was the lyrics from Jesus Culture:

Set a fire down in my soul,
That I can't contain, that I can't control,
I want more of you God -
I want more of you.

He followed it with, I can't sing that and then, blindly, turn my back on this.

I was moved to tears.

We may be one in heart, but Ben and I are not one in mind. We think, feel, and process life very differently. I start running as I say, yes, and Ben sits down to think about his no (you can imagine our home buying process and why it took us two years to find the right one).

We are different people with different drives, but God brought us together to raise one family with His purpose.

At bed time, LJ told me that he was going to teach his new brother how to wrestle. I told him how much his brother would love that and then reminded him that Jamar might be really sad and grumpy for awhile if he comes to live with us. LJ was thoughtful in his response, "Because he doesn't have a mom and dad?"

Yeah, buddy...

"But you're a mom...and daddy's a dad...and I'm a brother! We should adopt him, Mom!"

I agree.

God spent the day weaving through the hearts of my family. Whether for this sibling set or the next, we are ready for all that God has for us.

Now we just wait...


  1. Such wisdom and peace in this post. I love your heart. We too were faced two different times with a decision about our babies. We had our hands full with our other children and so many things on the outside said no, no and no again. Both were born drug addicted and went through terrible withdrawals. We held on to God's promise to provide and we made ourselves available. God did bring both babies to us and I thank God every single day (even on the really hard days) that he gave us the strength and peace to follow him wherever he led us. I love your faith and I know that God has your family in his hands. Peace to you as you wait. Thank you for sharing.

  2. Praying for you as you wait. I know what a struggle the waiting can be. God is always faithful and oh, how he loves us.

  3. Ugh, the waiting! What a beautiful family you all are! I am anxiously following here;).

  4. I am so thankful for your words Rebekah! My husband and I are going through a non-children related trial right now, and every day is good and bad. Your comment "God reminded me that he is not into trickery.
    He asks for our hearts. And we've given them." really spoke to me.

    May the Lord continue to speak truth in your life - and may you continue to share those words with us!

    Amy B

  5. Reading this post I got goose bumps and kept saying WOW! Gods work and love throughout this post. May he continue to bless you and guide you.

  6. Rebekah, your words are beautiful and so heartfelt. Everyone in life faces trials but not everyone walks holding the hand of God. I love reading your words bc they ring so true no matter the trials...a reminder of what is important in life. I also love when you are able to see God working firsthand at things. Just awesome. I am praying for your family and cannot wait to see what is in store next....beautiful and courageous woman you are. (and your relationship with Ben sounds very much like, running full speed ahead and my Ben- his real name- sitting down quietly to reflect and it DRIVES me wild too but thank God for our differences!!)

  7. Just catching up on all of your news. Wow. There is so much there.
    Your faith and passion astounds me. Praying for God's will to be done- and peace for you along the way.