A sobering question from a two and a half year old. The conversation, tonight, at bedtime went like this.
Ty: "Mom, when will Jesus bring me a baby sister [insert heart tug]?"
Me: "Oh, honey, I don't know...why don't you pray about it and ask God, right now?"
"Mom, I don't know how to pray. You do it!"
"Ty, all you have to do is talk from your heart. Start by telling God all the things you're thankful for in life. Then we can bring him our petitions."
"Okay. Dear Jesus... [I encouraged him to go on and list the things he was thankful for]...thank you for making Cheeze-Its. AAAA-men."
I laughed out loud.
The conversation progressed.
"Mom, where does Jesus live?"
"He lives at the right hand of God in heaven. A lot of people say he also lives in your heart....but that's actually the Holy Spirit."
"Where is heaven?"
"Way high up in the skies, baby. That's where both God and Jesus live."
"Jesus loves me!"
"Yes, he does. Do you know that God loves you, too? Do you know that he created you in Rebekah's belly? He put you together in there and then Whooo [I blew in his face] he breathed your life into being."
"Mom...why didn't God make me in your belly?"
I am still shocked that Ty would ask such a question. For the first time since being a mama, I didn't have a quick answer.
His provoking question had my mind spinning. My simple response was, "Because than Miss Rebekah wouldn't be such a special part of our lives."
He moved on and started talking about our latest trip to Seaworld, in true two year old fashion.
I did not move on.
I knew that we would start facing more challenging questions as Ty grew, but I thought we were years from those days.
I guess the part I struggle with is the complexity of the story that Ty won't understand for quite some time. How do I explain to my son that God did not make him for us...but Rebekah...but given her circumstances, she made a choice. She called on God and he to lead her to us.
It's important to me that Ty realizes that God didn't make Rebekah pregnant so that we could have a family, but it's also important to me that he understand her unparalleled love for him.
What always seemed like an easy explanation, didn't seem so easy when answering Ty, tonight. I left his room asking God for wisdom. Lord, how do we explain to Ty that he wasn't made for us, but Rebekah?
The answer came clear as day.
You don't. Tyrus was made for me.
The words of the Holy Spirit stilled my heart and filled me with warmth.
What a beautiful revelation.
More than a good answer to a hard question, was reassurance that God will guide us as we go.
If Ty was made for him, so was I....
...and so were you.