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Last I heard, there were two families with stronger ties hoping to adopt him. I had fallen in love with this sweet boy on paper and was, selfishly, heartbroken even though I knew he was going to live with a familiar family.
We have our adoption assessment completed, but are still waiting on our foster license (I have no idea what's taking so long), so we never did get to read through the profiles of the sibling group we were contacted with. I assume they've been placed by now.
I did my routine check on our state's website to see if there were kids within our age range posted. I'm not sure if every state has such a website, but for ours it's considered the "last call" site. It's heartbreaking to visit, but inspiring as we continue on the path God's leading. When the page refreshed, I was shocked. My eyes immediately went to Little Boy's name.
And then his picture.
It was my first glance at the eyes my heart already loved.
After about a minute of melting, the shock wore off and my frustration set in.
Why would Little Boy ever be put on a final call site when he had three families interested in adopting him? And if something fell through with the top two families, why on earth didn't someone call us?
I immediately sent our assessment to his caseworker from the state site and emailed my caseworker for the details. It took two days to hear back that an email inquiry had been made, but there was no information to relay.
God has worked tremendous patience deep into my heart.
I posted a pin on pinterest the other day that said,
Sometimes the things we can't change end up changing us.
How true that has been for me. God turned me inside out and washed vigorously. I hate that I don't have control over my family, but I have resolved to trust. Trust God; trust the process.
To avoid being a nuisance, I don't contact my case workers unless I have to and when I do...I wait patiently for their answers.
I know how slammed the system is with true emergencies all the time. And I know where my hopes for a family fall on the list of priorities.
It doesn't help my longing heart, but it is strengthening my hold on Jesus.
So, that's it. I have no idea why Little Boy is available for adoption or why our assessment was bypassed without further discussion.
I feel like a pig-tailed girl, jumping and shouting, pick me! pick me! I should be praying God's best, but tonight, I'm the schoolgirl asking God if I can bring this one home...
We'll see.
Oh, Rebekah, big prayers your way. God must have BIG plans, huh?! Love ya girl!
ReplyDeleteBig hugs. I can imagine that trying to be patient and letting go and letting God in this process has been trying. I'm thinking of you!
ReplyDeleteOh Rebekah, I'm praying with you! Those tiny eyes are so captivating!
ReplyDeleteI will tell you that I had regular contact with my Family Case Manager. I would send her emails once a week. Not really asking anything. They were really just kind of "Hi, how are you, and here are some funny things my family has been up to." I worked on developing a semi-friend relationship with her. I know her job is hard and I didn't want to pester, but I did want her to get a sense of who we were beyond the homestudy. My FCM seemed to appreciate the light-hearted emails. I was told by several people before we started that it is good to keep some contact because when a child comes across a caseworker's desk many times they call a family they have had contact with recently. This is just what I heard for my area, I don't know how it is where you are.
ReplyDeleteYour quote really hit me as we sit waiting for our daughter and son in Haiti. We are matched, but might be waiting another year or two...
ReplyDeleteI also know the "pick me" feeling from going through our domestic adoption.
Thank you for writing, Rebekah. Always inspiring.
That was such a cute ending. You always sum everything up so well. Those eyes are truly beguiling.
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