Last I heard, there were two families with stronger ties hoping to adopt him. I had fallen in love with this sweet boy on paper and was, selfishly, heartbroken even though I knew he was going to live with a familiar family.
We have our adoption assessment completed, but are still waiting on our foster license (I have no idea what's taking so long), so we never did get to read through the profiles of the sibling group we were contacted with. I assume they've been placed by now.
I did my routine check on our state's website to see if there were kids within our age range posted. I'm not sure if every state has such a website, but for ours it's considered the "last call" site. It's heartbreaking to visit, but inspiring as we continue on the path God's leading. When the page refreshed, I was shocked. My eyes immediately went to Little Boy's name.
And then his picture.
It was my first glance at the eyes my heart already loved.
After about a minute of melting, the shock wore off and my frustration set in.
Why would Little Boy ever be put on a final call site when he had three families interested in adopting him? And if something fell through with the top two families, why on earth didn't someone call us?
I immediately sent our assessment to his caseworker from the state site and emailed my caseworker for the details. It took two days to hear back that an email inquiry had been made, but there was no information to relay.
God has worked tremendous patience deep into my heart.
I posted a pin on pinterest the other day that said,
Sometimes the things we can't change end up changing us.
How true that has been for me. God turned me inside out and washed vigorously. I hate that I don't have control over my family, but I have resolved to trust. Trust God; trust the process.
To avoid being a nuisance, I don't contact my case workers unless I have to and when I do...I wait patiently for their answers.
I know how slammed the system is with true emergencies all the time. And I know where my hopes for a family fall on the list of priorities.
It doesn't help my longing heart, but it is strengthening my hold on Jesus.
So, that's it. I have no idea why Little Boy is available for adoption or why our assessment was bypassed without further discussion.
I feel like a pig-tailed girl, jumping and shouting, pick me! pick me! I should be praying God's best, but tonight, I'm the schoolgirl asking God if I can bring this one home...