Sunday, May 8, 2011

Ty & His Mothers

Well, this is our attempt at a Mother's Day video. As you will soon see, Ty is getting quite boisterous. I love his energy and just-found independence. Mothering him is no doubt one of the largest privileges in my life.


Knowing Rebekah is equally as gratifying. After a year apart, I will finally be able to throw my arms around her in six days. SIX DAYS! I am so excited for our family to be together, again, I almost can't wait. First off, I just want to see her - the girl has lost 100 pounds. Secondly, thirdly, and fourthly, I can't wait for her to see us in our environment - to stay in our home, see our community, help put Ty to bed, etc; to meet our closest friends and family; and to have some good, old-fashioned, girl time (when Ty is asleep, of course!).

I plan to do another video, similar to last year's. I thought it might be fun to involve all of you...since you're such a big part of both of our worlds. If you have a question you'd like to ask one or both of us, here's your opportunity! As long as you're respectful, not many questions are off-limits. Just be sure to reference which Rebekah you're asking if it's not obvious - you can use CO-Rebekah or MI-Rebekah (me), that's probably a good definer!

We'll read your questions aloud and answer them on our video.

Feel free to post your questions, here, in the comments, or email them to me, personally. I know there are many pictures, words, and tears to come. I'm looking forward to sharing them with you.


  1. Hi... Been following for your blog since before Ty came along. I'd like to know how you, MI Rebekah, you feel on Mothers Day. Specifically, do you still battle plain from the year of infertility? I know Ty has brought much peace an love, but I was just curious if you're still haunted on this day by feelings from previous years.

    I know for me, today is hard. 10 years of infertility and 3 losses. I've seen my share of sad Mothers Days. Now, I have 2 daughters, both of which were surprise pregnancies after all those years. I am blessed beyond measure and eternally grateful for them. And it may sound silly, but Mothers day especially always bring up memories of previous days when I spent feeling so isolated and forgotten. Now, I'm not saying at all that today is not a happy day for me. If course it is! But sometimes I am surprised and how the hurt resurfaces on this day and it takes my breath away. But my girls do so even more and above all I'm THANKFUL for them.

  2. Hey Rebekah (MI)!

    I have a question for CO Rebekah. I was wondering if you could share what you felt Ben and Rebekah did well in the relationship while you were pregnant with Tyrus.

    As my husband and I think about the potential relationship we could have with first parents, we want to mirror Jesus as much as possible. As a BM, can you think of practical ways an AP can do this?

    Thanks, guys! Enjoy your trip!

  3. I only caught some of that video because the music is playing over it and I have NO idea how to turn the music on your blog off - if there is even a way?! I want to watch it though because I love to see how you talked with him about his 2 mommies! My day is coming, and I already tell Jackson about T, his first mom. Anyway, I'm so excited for Rebekah to come and see you! I know what you mean about her seeing you and Ty in your environment - Jackson's first mom will be visiting us for the first time in a month or so and I am SO excited for her to see us, see Jax, in his home. Anyway, I don't have any questions, but can't wait to see the video:).

  4. Ooo! Can't wait to hear about the R & R adventures. :) Happy mother's day!!

  5. Hi beautiful Mama!
    First happy mother's day to you and miss rebekah... it is such a special day... i think of the question that Brooke ask and was wondering the same thing...for me (infertility for 9 years and then we adopted Kellen when he was 18 months old)... for me yesterday was a day of being 'engulfed' in my grief and joy... all at once. Like you and Ben we want lots and lots and lots of children (Marcel settled on 5 kiddies), and are currently waiting to adopt again... the grief for not just being able to get pregnant... and the joy of Kellen...the grief for the loss of my mom and the joy of Kellen... the joy making me feel totally overjoyed...but still in my heart.... well... i guess you know what i mean...

    Rebekah (MI) YOU inspire me...your openess, your love your being.... you inspire me to have the same open relationship with kellen and his birthmom.... i think i'm too scared to let kellen call her 'mommy', so we decided on her name, Ricky, which he knows and he has spoken to her and talks about her... i think when your husband is 100% with you on open adoption, it is easier to call her mommy and let her visit, but if not, you have to do what works for you....

    thank you for inspiring others... and Ty is adorable! xx Linni

  6. Too cute! I love it. He is simply adorable!

  7. What a sweet video!
    My question is for Co-Rebekah:

    We have an open relationship with our baby girl's birthmom. I can't help but wonder, as our daughter blossoms into an amazing little person, whether it is becoming more difficult for birthmom to see her child with another family. I'm interested in your perspective - do you find the visits with Ty get easier, or more difficult, each time?


  8. He reminds me a lot of Skyler. Do both of you have plans to get TY and his brothers and sisters together sometime soon? He is adorable and so smart!

  9. I'm a blogger, too, and sometimes I wonder (and you two can answer): Do you think Ty will ever be hurt, annoyed, etc. by the fact that you both blog so openly about HIM?

    Asking honestly and respectfully, as a person, like I said, who also blogs about adoption.

    Thanks, girls!

  10. Have you thought of using a surrogate before for a pregnancy? And question to the two R's : CO R ; do you think the kids are doing any better dealing with their seperation from Tyler? Chelsea in particular?

  11. You both are giving Tyrus all the love and support he needs in life, what an amazing bond you have together and for your son. Here is my question and I mean it with the most respect a woman can give.

    MI-Rebekah do you vision the role CO-Rebekah has with Tyrus as that of another/distant Mother figure or that of an Aunt? Does Tyrus shy away from CO-Rebekah out of tiddler behavior (simiar to stranger anxiety). How do you both handle that?

    I think that Tyrus is one lucky little boy with two very sensible Mom's... He's adorable.

    MI-Rebekah, How does Ben feel about seeing CO-Rebekah?

  12. Hi Ladies,

    I cannot tell you how wonderful it is to see the relationship that you have and how comfortable lil Ty is with it all. Kuddos to all of you! We also have a good relationship with our son's birth mommy, but my question (to both of you)is about the birth father. Does Ty know him or about him? Do you have a close relationship with him too? That relationship is very different for us, and I was wondering how it worked for y'all. Thank you for being so open and willing to share!

  13. CO-Rebekah - Is there anything you regret about adoption? (not the actual adoption itself, but would you have spent more one-on-one time with Ty at the hospital, would you have taken more pictures, etc)?

    MI-Rebekah - Do you worry about Tyrus wanting to leave and be with his birthmom someday? It's not often that it happens I'm sure, but I'm curious if it has ever crossed your mind or how you would handle it.

  14. I also wonder what your plans are for a relationship between Ty and his biological siblings. I often feel sorry for the children I parent because I made a decision that impacts their relationship with their biological sister. And it seems that they are hurt by the fact that they cannot have access to her (which I do expect to change as time heals everyone's hearts). What is your joint plan for the relationship with Ty and the other children?

    If you could share a piece of wisdom about adoption to potenetial or current adoptive parents and/or birth mothers what would it be?