Two Rebekahs, One Interview

Words and pictures from our visit to come. For now, enjoy our candid video as we answer your questions. It's a bit lengthy, I had to cut the segments in three (40 min total), but I think you'll enjoy them as we explore our experience in open adoption.

 

  

I hope this gave you a good peak into our friendship; I cherish it more than I can say!

Ty & His Mothers

Well, this is our attempt at a Mother's Day video. As you will soon see, Ty is getting quite boisterous. I love his energy and just-found independence. Mothering him is no doubt one of the largest privileges in my life.

 

Knowing Rebekah is equally as gratifying. After a year apart, I will finally be able to throw my arms around her in six days. SIX DAYS! I am so excited for our family to be together, again, I almost can't wait. First off, I just want to see her - the girl has lost 100 pounds. Secondly, thirdly, and fourthly, I can't wait for her to see us in our environment - to stay in our home, see our community, help put Ty to bed, etc; to meet our closest friends and family; and to have some good, old-fashioned, girl time (when Ty is asleep, of course!).

I plan to do another video, similar to last year's. I thought it might be fun to involve all of you...since you're such a big part of both of our worlds. If you have a question you'd like to ask one or both of us, here's your opportunity! As long as you're respectful, not many questions are off-limits. Just be sure to reference which Rebekah you're asking if it's not obvious - you can use CO-Rebekah or MI-Rebekah (me), that's probably a good definer!

We'll read your questions aloud and answer them on our video.

Feel free to post your questions, here, in the comments, or email them to me, personally. I know there are many pictures, words, and tears to come. I'm looking forward to sharing them with you.

God's Love & Sloppy Kisses

It's been a long, tiring week for reasons beyond not getting anywhere with DHS and foster care research, but TODAY was a bright, shining day. God reminded me (I hate that I need reminding) just how faithful he is. He provided me snapshots of me, in moments of high and low, while narrating the story that he wrote.

My life has been marred by different failures - people, body, personal mistakes...but never by God. God has never failed me. If that doesn't put a bounce in your step, I don't know what will.

I walked in the door with a light heart and immediately started wrestling with Ty, when he grabbed both my cheeks and gave me an under-puckered, wet, sloppy kiss.

I cried with joy, thanked God for his goodness, and continued to chase Ty around the kitchen table.

Why do I doubt?

God's sweet love.

Where do we go from here?

I am so thankful for the flood of response I've received from comments and emails. I had no idea I had so many readers with such a wealth of foster adoption information! Admittedly, I'm feeling pretty discouraged.

Going in, I knew our 0-3 age specifications were going to be limiting, but I guess I figured the openness to ethnicity and siblings would help our odds. After reading more about the legal process, I understand why our chances of adopting, apart from fostering, are so slim.

Keeping birth order really isn't something we've cemented, but adopting children under the age of four is important to us, right now. It really has nothing to do with the amount of life the kids have seen or lived, but everything to do with our readiness as parents. We have grown-up alongside Tyrus and each transitioning stage requires conversations, prayer, and preparation. I'm really not ready (and maybe willing is a better word here, although it sound terrible) to skip years worth of stages.

As parents, Ben and I are just coming into hard-core discipline and have many discussions on what we should do, how we should do it, and what makes the most sense for a two year old. Adopting a 7 or 8 year old, right now, would throw such a curve ball. I would much rather adopt a 7 or 8 year old in 5 years, when we have more experience under our belts. I know critics would say our lack of experience is inconsequential compared to the love so many of these children need, but my feet are firm on the matter.

I want, more than anything, to adopt teenagers someday, but, right now, we (along with all of our friends) are  in parenting-little-kid mode and we want to learn to do that well before moving on.

So that leaves me with the stomach pitting question of What do we do?

This morning, I cried out to God and said something along the lines of "Why can't my body just work?"

I didn't bother to let the Holy Spirit respond. I know the answer and repeated it on cue.

The way I see it, we have a handful of options:

1. Throw our adoption tax credit into the domestic adoption system instead of paying off student loans.
2. Try to find an expectant mother ourselves and start a self-promotion campaign, even to the point of newspaper adds and community bulletins (gag me).
3. Jump through the hoops of being foster adoption "ready" only to wait years on end, barring a miracle of God.
4. Decide to foster 0-3 kids and pray for adoption blinders, so that I can fully commit to supporting the reunification process and intent.
5. Wait five years and go into foster adoption with a 0-8 age range.

I don't like any of them. Reading through such a list is a sure crying trigger and has the ability to take me right to the why-me gutter.

Thankfully, Ty's adoption required a heart revolution and I can usually, confidently, dismiss anti-Christ seeds from taking root.

Part of the curse of infertility (at least for me) is that it never fully goes away. I hate that my motherhood is completely dependent on the heartbreaking sacrifice (domestic adoption) or delinquency (foster adoption) of other mothers.