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I was leaning toward acknowledging it as a great day, but not getting all crazy special about it. Mostly, because we've been loving and praying for this boy the day we found out about him, in Rebekah's womb. The fact that he legally became a part of our family on the ninth seems irrelevant.
If you read back to that post, you'll find that finalization was more of a rainbow day for me, as God reminded me of our journey together and the sign of promise he delivered through sweet Ty.
When I thought about our future family, however, I realized that adoption days will become much more significant. For a minutes-old baby that knows me as mom from the start, an adoption day is formality at best. But, for a 10 year old girl who's never experienced God's version of family, adoption day is a big deal.
I, recently, met a woman who was adopted from foster care at age 12. Her story is so appalling, yet, compelling that God used her to rev the engines of my heart.
We are needed in this God-desperate, people forsaken arena called foster care.
As I thought through the many scenarios and faces that will one day sit around our dinner table, I decided that adoption day is a day of proclamation. A day to rejoice in the goodness of God and the uniqueness of each thread that is woven through our family tapestry.
What a joy this little thread has been to our family. We gladly celebrate his life and adoption, next week. God is good!
Today is my daughter's adoption day and I didn't even realize it until I read your blog...She is 5 and although she knows and understands (as much as a 5 year old can) that she is adopted, we just have never made a big deal of the day. I wonder if we should make a bigger deal of it??
ReplyDeleteWe love adoption day, and not because it made our family love one another any more, but because our love became known to the state as legal. It is important, not because of a signature, or judges approval, but because it closed a journey of God's amazing work of bringing our family together. I think that is something to celebrate. We let our daughters make a cake, just the way they want it, and eat it after dinner to celebrate the day.
ReplyDeleteAdoption days around here are celebrated by talking about 'their story' and always going to Dairy Queen for ice cream sundaes! We do not go 'crazy over board' but we do always want to acknowledge what God did through our adopted children and their lives! Happy Adoption Day Ty!
ReplyDeleteCan't wait to hear about how you celebrate it!!!!
ReplyDeleteCelebrate your Forever Family Day. Can' wait to hear what ya'll do!
ReplyDeleteI just love reading your blog! My youngest brother (20 years old) is adopted. He came to live with us when he was 6 days old and his adoption was finalized when he was 6 months old. Every year on the anniversary we have dinner as a family and celebrate his life...no gifts are exchanged or anything, but we take the time to remember what a special day that was.
ReplyDeleteI really like the conclusion you came to. I am definitely in the camp of AJH - I think we will do something different and special, but not necessarily a huge party or anything. We will definitely tell him the story of his adoption. Just something to mark the momentous day that his name officially became Jackson and the day our hearts could breathe and know that all would be well. What a beautiful day it was and I never want to forget....
ReplyDeleteI am looking forward to seeing how you celebrate. I started reading your blog right around your adoption day and remember crying as I watched that phone call happening and wondering if one day I would be crying tears of joy too - you are an inspiration. Good luck and I am so looking forward to seeing your family continue to grow in such amazing ways...
I plan to celebrate finalization day, which happens to fall a little over 6 months from my daughter's birthday, which seems like a good time to have another celebration of her :) I think it doesn't matter whether you celebrate placement, bringing home, finalization, or some other date relevant to adoption, but I do think it is important to pick a day and celebrate it each year. When they are young they might not realize what's going on but as they grow I think they will need an opportunity for celebration and reflection on being adopted.
ReplyDeleteI feel as you do. We do celebrate finalization day and call it "Family Day" and have cake. :) Also, I'm doing a blog giveaway of an amazing book this week if you want to enter and share the link with your readers: http://whitesugarbrownsugar.blogspot.com/2011/02/interview-and-giveaway.html
ReplyDeleteYes, celebrate and I will be right with you. I remember last year, holding my breath until he was official. You didn't, but I did. How much I love our little boy. He is worth many celebrations.
ReplyDeleteAs I first read this I thought I would not want my sweet Brit to celebrate her adoption day. Because she was part of her forever family since before she was born. I wouldn't want her to celebrate the transaction part of the formal adoption.
ReplyDeleteThen as I read on about how the rest of your family will be formed, it made perfect sense. While Forever Family Day is not as important to Ty's circumstances, it will be a day to be celebrated for the others.
Interesting to think about.
That is exciting and I can't wait to hear about how you celebrated. That is great. He is just darling and getting so big. I am so happy to hear about your little thread. :)
ReplyDeleteI see both sides to this. I myself am adopted and am now a mom who is in the process of adopting. we didn't celebrate this growing up, and honestly, I mostly just remember wanting to feel connected to my adoptive family and not feel "different." This is likely how we will handle it in our family because we have the bio kid/ adopted kid situation. If we also adopted older or foster kids, we may celebrate it as older children are much more aware.
ReplyDeleteIt meant so much to me that my mom and dad found ways to connect me to them and not always bring up that I was adopted. For example, if someone would say, "My your daughter looks nothing like you." to my mom she would smile and say something like, "Well we certainly both love to dance around and listen to music loudly." I remember being so happy she made us similar instead of saying, "Well she is adopted."
Off topic...just my two cents.
I love your blog and love following your story. Reading about your love for your son regardless of how anyone feels, I feel certain you will make the right choice for your family!
We celebrate "Family Fun Day" in honor of our lil guy's finalized adoption. We take off work and spend the whole day together. He knows every day how special he is to us, but this gives us one more opportunity to let our love shine. In today's busy world, a whole uninterrupted day together doing something fun is a blessing. My thought was that we celebrate and talk about everything from their first word, first step, first haircut, etc. that a chance to talk about the beauty of adoption, the courage of his birth mommy, and our love for each other is a true time to celebrate.
ReplyDeleteWe don't celebrate Hailey's adoption day, for us it just felt like a legal formality to the family we had already been. We celebrate her "Gotcha Day." The day she came into our home and stayed forever. We will have a cake and give her a small gift just the three of us. It means a lot to me to remember that day, the day that changed our lives. :)
ReplyDeleteI think its a great day to celebrate, if not to celebrate anything but Gods goodness. Ill celebrate because it ment that you were officially part of my family to. I sure love you guys!!!
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Celebrate away :) We will celebrate with you...love that boy.
ReplyDeleteI can't get over how little Ty looks in that picture from just a year ago! He really has turned into a little man all of a sudden!! So precious! :)
ReplyDeleteWe liken it to a wedding anniversary. We knew we were meant to get married, but we celebrate every May 31 anyway! We knew we were family from about our 2nd date... but when the government recognized it, everyone did.
ReplyDeleteWe knew adoption is how God wanted us to build our family, and we want our child(ren) to know it. Sure, we counted as family from day one, but when the government recognized it, everyone else counted us as family, too.
We plan to do something fun - just the three of us. A small gift (his birthday is so close to Christmas, I feel like this is a good reason to give a gift!). A special dinner.
Oh, and we'll celebrate his spiritual birthday, too, when (and if, shudder) he decides to be baptized!!
Love this blog:) We adopted from foster care and decided to celebrate it for a couple of reasons. My adopted son (seems weird to refer to him as "adopted"...he's really just my son:) remembers his birth parents, and mourned the loss of them. In fact, he still mourns their loss but not as much as he did at first. That being said, I wanted a way to honor him and his sisters (that I also adopted). I wanted him to know that we celebrate his being a part of our family, but at the same time recognize that his roots. But we don't do anything big. It's not about big for us...it's more about acknowledgment and love.
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