Sunday, April 26, 2015

Open Adoption

For reasons on both sides, it has been two years since we've seen Ty's birth mom, Rebekah. She has as many littles at home as we do and that just makes cross-country travel difficult.

As much as I wish we lived closer, every time we do get together our time is treasured and memorable for all of us. Ty and I are making the trip by ourselves, for the first time, in a few days.

The past 15 months of foster care taught me more things that I wanted to learn, but one truth that surfaced often is the tremendous sacrifice that Rebekah made for her son. I have always known it and given it a place of honor in my heart, but watching the level of arrogance and self-interest that Little Miss' parents possess, in and out of the courtroom, gave me the deepest appreciation for the decision Rebekah made.

Cisco and Missy's parents care, but only in a biological "they-should-be-with-me" kind of way. I realize, now, that the instinct of a mother - fierce protector - is not innate in every woman.

I will never forget the day Rebekah called me a few years ago. She was in the car with her kids and looked in the rear view mirror with a complete sense of overwhelm. It was one of those days. She, immediately, breathed a prayer of thanks to God that Ty was not dependent on her everyday care...that God had provided a family to love and support him. She called to thank me for worrying for him, so that she didn't have to.

I, honestly, cannot comprehend the depths of that love and Ty has only scratched the surface. He is so excited for our trip and can't wait to be in his hometown with his first family. It will be a beautiful reunion!

I will post pictures and notes on my Facebook page, throughout our weekend, and look forward to coming back, here, to share our moments. If you have a question that you would like to ask me, Tyrus, or Rebekah, please leave it in the comments or on my FB page. The three of us will spend some time recording our answers.

Open adoption is such a gift.


  1. Thank you for your open-ness! Look forward to seeing all your updates!

  2. You guys are an amazing family. Enjoy your trip. Can't wait to hear all about.

  3. Praying you and Ty have a terrific time with Rebekah and all of Ty's first family members.

  4. Incredible! Can't wait to read about it. I will pray for it to be a really sweet time together!

  5. I absolutely love your blog, the honesty and raw emotions you share regarding your feelings for each new little. I never post. But since you kinda asked for questions, I have one for Birth mom of your sweet Tyrus.
    Those of us that follow this sweet amazing blog, I'm sure you do also. So respect and admire the raw emotion Rebekah shares on her writings, going back to when they first had Laron, some of the trials, then with sweet boy and Missy. Did you ever worry/fear it was to difficult for Tyrus, maybe it would adversely effect him, think maybe he deserved more stability. I absolutely mean no disrespect, and so love the Pinchback family. Just wonder how you felt reading Rebekahs posts.