Tuesday, May 28, 2013


It's been a very strange month of ups and downs. Our family has been pressing the hem of heaven so tightly it would prove worn if released. We have been in constant prayer over finding a new home for our growing family and a permanent home for LJ's little sister, Mia. We have been on our knees, on behalf of both, for over a year, but breakthrough has been slow.

In the same month (this month) we got encouraging news about Mia and then it was discouraging...and then back to encouraging. Last week, we found our dream home. Truly. It was quirky and non-traditional and felt like the perfect space to raise our non-traditional family. It needed work, but had loads of space, inside and out. It captured my heart, the minute I walked in the door.

Ben and I were laughing. After a year of waiting and begging praying, we had finally pushed through, and wouldn't it be just like God to deliver our home and daughter in the same week?

That was last week.

We were shocked when our offer was accepted without contingency and thankful that, although the crazy foster care system seemed set on allowing Mia to fall through the cracks, our caseworker helped us advocate otherwise. We praised God for his favor.

And then this week came...

We, sadly, had to withdraw our offer on the house, after spending three hours with the inspector, on Saturday. And, today, we were notified that Mia will be adopted by one of two families - neither of which is ours.

Sunday and Monday were difficult days for me. I had already betrothed myself to the house and had, mentally, moved our things in. It took me a couple days to get through the heartbreak. I wasn't angry or resentful with God - I was thankful (SO thankful) that he had spared us from harm - I was just, incredibly, sad. By the end of the day, yesterday, I was back to myself and although not ready to dive into the house hunt, again, my optimism returned.

God is faithful.

Strangely, when the news of Mia came, today, my immediate (and continued) reaction was complete peace. We have seen too much to doubt God's plan. I really want her to be in our family, but we've tried (not always successfully) to be neutral in our prayers for her. That God would be swift in bringing Mia a permanent family. From what I heard, today, both families would be a wonderful fit that would allow her to be with birth sisters. I couldn't ask for more.

Over the last year, we received such conflicting information about Mia, her whereabouts and whether or not there were other siblings with her. Our caseworker has been a gift from God and after the second new caseworker was assigned to Mia's adoption (after the termination hearing a couple of weeks ago), she, personally, drove to the assigned agency to read through Mia's file, herself. As if that wasn't touching enough, she affirmed a truth, today, that I am eternally grateful for. After spending her morning reading through this family's case, it is "unclear" why LJ was separated from his four sisters - who all had parental rights terminated a few weeks ago...together. I had no idea. I thought all the children, apart from Mia, had been adopted. Two are older than LJ and two are younger. All four will likely be adopted together. It doesn't make sense. There is no defining cause for his separation from the family.

No defining cause, that is, except the all powerful-ever true, hand of God.

For whatever reason, God saw fit for LJ to be in our family. God plucked him from his abandonment and called him son. He stamped redeemed on his file and whispered favor into his future. I am in awe at the goodness and love of our God.

I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
    where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord,
    the Maker of heaven and earth.
He will not let my foot slip—
    he who watches over me will not slumber;
indeed, he who watches over Israel
    will neither slumber nor sleep.
The Lord watches over me—
    the Lord is my shade at my right hand;
the sun will not harm me by day,
    nor the moon by night.
The Lord will keep me from all harm—
    he will watch over my life; 
the Lord will watch over my coming and going
    both now and forevermore.

 - Psalm 121

Thank you, Father....


  1. Wow!! Definite words of someone who knows God's plan is always bigger than ours! Rebekah, you are an incredible inspiration to me. You have taught me to strive to be a better wife. To stay patience in God's timing while my husband and I experience infertility. And to lean on god more than I ever have before!! I feel blessed to read your blog!! Prayers for healing to you and your beautiful family and thank you for sharing your heart. God is speaking through you to touch others that are also standing in your former shoes!

  2. Rebekah, you certainly have more than your share going on in your lives right now. I'm thinking of all of you.

  3. I am so sorry that you've experienced what were surely extreme highs and lows. Your family continues to be in my prayers.

    You ended this post with the verse (Psalm 121:7) my husband and I are working on with our little boy after reading your intentional mothering post, and working through nights of bad dreams.

  4. There is no reason why else, our most challenging child, should have ended up being adopted by us either. That gives me comfort often.

  5. Thankful for this jewel of knowledge you received about LJ, and also grieving with you about Mia. I am glad she will be placed right where God wants her, but I am sorry for the ache and loss at the same time. Praying for your growing family- and rejoicing that God will grow in His beautiful timing and way.

  6. wow... the authority you speak with is full of wisdom and power. They are words that scream "been there, done that" I am proud of your Christ like example and that scripture.... I love that scripture. Thank you.


  7. im wondering if sibiling visits are allowed? I use to take the boys in my group home to mcdonalds once a week and let them play with their sibilings in another group home. it wasnt much but it was something for them.


  8. :( We just bought a house and it was kind of a frustrating process. It is hard when you found a place you love and then it doesn't work out for you. I'm sorry. Hang in there...God will provide a home that will be perfect for you and your young family.

  9. This is a beautiful post with beautiful wisdom. Praying for your lows. Things happen the way God sees fit. I'm glad you received the info on LJ and his siblings. Sorry that Mia is not part of your family. Praying for your growing family and that you find the home that fits you.

  10. Sweetie I'm sorry you've been on such a roller coaster lately. Sorry the house fell through. Sorry Mia won't be living with you. I hope you can work out for LJ and his siblings to get together some. Praying for God's blessings on you all. I love you! Julie

  11. Thank you for this post!!! My husband and I suffered a failed adoption last wk. I am struggling with why God allowed to walk with the expectant mom and love that little boy so much and then have to leave with an empty carseat. We are not giving up and know our baby is out there but this really threw us for a loop. Thank you for being an example of having grace when things do not go as planned:)

  12. It is so hard to be in the pit and not see the wonders God has in store for us. Our eyes just cannot always see that far. But we can have faith and we can know it is coming. You loved that house but I KNOW God has something greater and when you find it there will be joy unspeakable.

    I am so very sorry about Mia. No matter who adopts her I just pray they give her a wonderful life and that if there's another little Pinchback out there God ushers them into your home in His time. Blessings!!!

  13. Totally random, and probably a bit stalker-ish: I saw your boys (and Ben? and someone who looks a lot like you -- your same beautiful, curly hair - but, pregnant?) at the Zoo today.
    I was walking by, and I was, "I know those boys from...somewhere?" -- HeartCries!
    So I didn't say anything, because I thought that would be even more stalker-ish....so, yes, I'm weird. I should have set aside my insecurities and just said hello, I'm sorry.

    Anyway, it was really neat to see your sweet little miracles in person. It was a great visual of God's goodness that *always* surrounds us.

    Continuing to pray for you and your sweet family!

    mama to 4 boys,
    fellow SE Michigander

    1. To funny...you DID see my boys, but Ben and I were in Arizona for the weekend. Our summer nanny took the boys with some of our friends and all their kids. The prego with curly hair is one of my closest friends, and we DO look a lot of like (we work together and people get us confused from the back!)

      Next time, feel free to say "hi!" :)

  14. One of my favorite scripture passages. This is heartbreaking and encouraging at the same time. Love you.