Monday, May 13, 2013

"Are you their mom?"

Last week, we were at my cousin's baseball game and about half way through the boys were getting wiggly bottoms. We told them they could go run around the field behind us and gave them some parameters. A few minutes later, we found that they had made friends with some older boys and had joined their soccer game. When the game was over and people started packing up, there was a black family sitting in the home field bleachers that were getting ready to leave. I heard one of the older boys tell Laron, "Don't you need to go home with your family?"

Laron looked at him, strangely, and, pointing to me, said, "No, my mom is right there."

The poor boy just coudn't wrap his mind around the fact that Laron was with our family. He asked him several more time until Laron finally said, "My MOM IS RIGHT THERE." I smiled and waved, but didn't intervene.

Today, the boys were riding bikes in the driveway while I was making dinner. I heard one of the older neighbor boys that they hadn't met, yet, come ask if he could play (my boys have an uncanny ability to draw a crowd and make friends, quickly).

He started by asking them their names and ages. Ty explained, with painstaking detail, that he used to be two, that he, now, is three, and, in June, will be turning four. There was a long pause and the boy said, "Are you guys brothers?"

Laron said, "Yup. You wanna ride bikes with us?"

The boy wasn't ready to move on, "But, you guys are the same age?"

Ty went through his explanation, again, and ended with, "We are both turning four."

The boy wasn't convinced, so he asked, again, "And you're"

I decided to poke my head out the door to see who was asking all the questions. As soon as I came around the corner, the boys shouted, "Hi, Mom!"

The boy looked at me and said, "Are you their mom?"

I smiled and said, "I sure am! Have fun boys," and walked away with a smirk on my face.

This is only the beginning to a lifetime of questions. I love that my boys are confident in their brotherhood and secure in the role they have in our family. When it comes to preschool friends and park acquaintances, I decided that it's their story to tell, not mine. How much they want to reveal is up to them.

It's funny to watch their interactions because nothing about their life feels unnatural. They assume everyone gets it! Sometimes I do want to interfere and say, "Just ask them if they're adopted...they'll tell you!" But...right now, it's more fun to watch the boys handle it on their own.


  1. This is so funny. There are times that I take my nieces and nephews with me. That leaves me with 6 kids. My nieces and nephews are mixed with black and white, ages 12, 9, 4, and 2. I have a 9 year old white son (5 months older than his cousin) and a 2 year old daughter, mixed with Mexican (5 months older than her cousin). I talk to all of them like their mine, and some of the looks I get are priceless!

  2. What a fun post, brought a smile to my face. Your blog has certainly helped me to stop and realize that God builds each family different and to enjoy His handiwork.

    Thanks for being real and open,
    Kim M

  3. Your boys are just too cute! I love to hear your stories and how confident they are!

  4. You are doing such a fabulous job teaching them! You're a great Mom!

  5. Love this!! What a great way to handle it!

  6. Just wait till they're old enough to get funny and tell everyone that they're TWINS :)

  7. Good for you for not intervening and letting them explain. How cute! :)

  8. Such a sweet post! We are a bi-racial family and I love when God gives our family opportunities to grow in Him through others questions. What a beautiful picture of Christ's love for us…it is such a blessing to show others the mysteries of God’s love for us. Keep up the good work! :)

  9. This is so interesting to read. Obviously ours don't get as many questions...but they do get A LOT because of how close in age they are. Most people assume they are twins and I don't correct them usually. But...I do struggle with how to answer questions like "how far apart are they?" and then inevitably, "How did that happen?" because I don't want to keep it a secret by any means, but I also feel like Jackson's story should be his to tell. So, yeah, I'm still learning. I like to read about how other moms are figuring it all out:).

  10. Love it! Your a great Mom and I love reading your blog!

  11. I have always loved your blog. You are really the reason I started blogging myself. We are now proud foster to adopt parents and have 3 blessings. Thank you for sharing you sweet boys and being a Godly woman and mother. Blessings! Hannah

  12. We are a biracial family and have gotten quite a few questions. My favorites have been "are those your kids or are you watching them for someone?" "Where do your kids get their curly hair from?" (Mine is straight...their father of course!) I do admit it bothered me and offended me at times but I know that most of the people who ask are just curious and don't have mean intentions. And even though my children are biological, the first thing that comes to my mind when asked these questions , is "don't people know that some kids are adopted?"