Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Court Day

Friday cannot come sooner for me.

Friday is LJ's adoption court hearing.

It is an exciting day for our family, but for me it's only affirming what I already know to be true. For LJ, however, it's a re-write for his future. A formalized decree that will hopefully soothe his insecure heart. We have been talking about his "adoption day" for a couple of weeks, now. We wanted to prepare him for what could seem scary, but also help him understand what this day will mean for his place in our family. It helps give teeth to forever.

He is not an introvert by any means, but when it comes to emotional expression, he is stunted. Even at three, it's clear that he has mastered the ability to gloss over heartache and ignore challenging conversation....but, we are working on that!

Up until the last couple of days, he hadn't said anything about his court date and wouldn't participate in our conversation about it at the dinner table. On Sunday, we put him to bed a few minutes early for an act of disobedience. After a couple of minutes, I could still hear his quiet sobs. I went in and sat on his bed and put my hand on his chest. The conversation went something like, "Honey...I know today was a tough day for you. But you know what? You are a GOOD boy. And tomorrow is a new day. Mommy and Daddy love you very much and we are so glad that you are in our family." We sat for a few minutes in silence, while I rubbed his head and patted his belly. He then looked right at me and said, "Mom. I want to go to court tomorrow."

His words grip my heart. I knew it was his way of saying, "I'm insecure" or even worse, "I'm still afraid you might give me back."

I hugged him tight, whispered more lovelies, and told him we only had a few more days to wait.

The injustice of what has been done to this precious boy's heart makes me angrier than I've ever been. This is my son. And he's three. He is battling insecurities that his brother will never experience in his lifetime. It's just not right.

This little boy deserves more. And we are going to give it to him!

Only a few more days...


...and LJ will have his forever family.


22 comments:

  1. SO excited for all of you. And there is NO WOUND that God does not want to, or will not, heal. Including LJ's precious little heart. And he has been put in exactly the right family, as you guys are sensitive and can navigate that process for him. Blessings on your next stage as a family!

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  2. Oh that sweet face! Praying that your court day will go off without any issues and that your sweet son will continue to find security in your love and the love of our great God.

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  3. he is right where he needs to be. so glad the day is nearly here.

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  4. Beautiful post. So so so happy this boy found you guys!

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  5. I am sooooo excited for you all! You have such precious boys!

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  6. I'll be thinking of you guys on Friday! He is one lucky little boy to have found a wonderful forever family!!

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  7. He is SO sweet. I hope Friday runs smoothly for you.

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  8. Oh wow, this breaks my heart too. I have thought on and off over the past few weeks that I may not be able to stay in this field for much longer - because we have countless, I mean countless, stories of babies like LJ in our system. And they don't all get an amazing forever family like LJ has. My heart almost can't take all the sad stories. I am so thankful for parents like you who provide happy endings for these sweet little ones. Can't WAIT to hear about LJ's adoption day:)! Good luck to all of you!

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  9. Aww. Seriously heartbreaking. I'm so happy that it will all be finalized Friday! So awesome.

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  10. Rebekah I'm so happy for him and for y'all!!! Adoption day is the best!!! -Kriss

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  11. He is just beautiful. Praying for you and your family this week.

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  12. I'm reading this on Thursday and my heart is shouting "T-1", praying for your beautiful family that tomorrow will create memories that LJ can take with him where ever he is!

    Will be praying you through the day!

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  13. Bless his sweet little heart. Tomorrows the day.. My family will be praying for your family.

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  14. Woohoo LJ tomorrow is your big day I have been cheering for you! Congratulations on your forever family!!!

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  15. Praying for your family. What a sweet little boy.

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  16. Congratulations! You are SUCH a great mom. Not because you are an adoptive mom. Simply because you ROCK! You are so attune and sensitive to your family's needs. When I'm a mom I want to be just like you :)

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  17. Tomorrow is FRIDAY!! Tomorrow is FRIDAY!!
    I am so happy for all of you!
    I am headed to bed and saying "Thank You" prayers to God for letting LJ find his FOREVER family!

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  18. it's Friday!!! thought of your family today and said a prayer! what an exciting day!!!

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