Monday, December 13, 2010

Ty & Baby Jesus

I am a reflector. Not the bicycle sort, of course, but rather the thoughtful, retrospective kind. Watching our baby boy morph into a running, laughing, tackling buddy is more than enough inspiration.

Seeing him develop, right before my eyes, is the greatest privilege I've ever been given. When I see him cover his mouth to cough or put his clothes in the hamper, I know he's refinery in the making.  Our latest tradition involves the story of Christmas, which proudly boasts Jesus at its center. Ty has this puffy-people advent calendar (made by Fisher Price) and each night we pull a manger member from its pocket and place it appropriately in the stable. Baby Jesus is in pocket 25 and every night we share in his coming birth day.

I emphasize how special Baby Jesus is and that he deserves our love, lavishly. These quiet teachings have resulted in exuberant Ty-bursts throughout the day..."Bb-ee Jeesa! Bb-ee Jeesa!" he'll say and smatter the puffy pillow with kisses, before swiftly tucking him back in pocket 25. The warmness he causes to spill from my heart is too good for words.

I know it's simple, not-fully comprehending, love. But it's still love. And its existence gives me much hope for my little man's future. Not only do I aspire for him to chase after his heavenly father with all of the breath he contains, I want him to love people with the same intensity.

Ty's words are starting to flow more frequently and name variations of loved ones have ensued. He's so proud of himself when he says "Jo Jo Jo Jo" for Uncle Joe or "Do" for Uncle Drew. Phone talking has become more than a novelty and we make more frequent bedtime calls than ever before. All of these progressions make me excited for Rebekah.

She, of course, is a normal conversation piece in our home, but I know Ty has little understanding of what we're saying. I'm looking forward to the coming year's changes and the chance Ty will have to re-bond with his mom.

I know that I can't make things happen...that I can't force him to love and adore Rebekah, but my hope is that he'll live in the overflow of Ben and me. That he will love her because we love her. That he'll pray for and pursue her because we do.

I'm also hoping that this will be the year of the sibling (smile). We've had a few expectant moms inquire about our willingness to adopt, this year, but so far they have all made choices to parent (which we respect, understand, and encourage). Unless God has other plans, we'll begin the foster adoption licensing process next summer. We really want to honor birth order, so we may need to wait a long time...but I'm still holding out hope that Ty will have a playmate before next year's end.

If only he knew just how much we depend on "Baby" Jesus....

I will say, it's so much easier to trust God's hand-picking for our family this time around. Such a wonderfully, peaceful place to be.

12 comments:

  1. "it's so much easier to trust God's hand-picking for our family this time around. Such a wonderfully, peaceful place to be."
    LOVE this!
    how exciting to think about God's plans for your family!
    love you! merry christmas to you and your precious family :)

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  2. thanks for this post. i needed that. i'm scheduled for brain surgery this thursday (if i'm stable enough) and sometimes i look at the huge-ness of the situation rather than just trusting. i'm not at all afraid of something happening to me... what keeps me up at night is the thought of me dying & my family having to deal with it, or worse, having to DECIDE not to continue treatment if i'm unable to decide on my own. i've written & rewritten my advanced care directive, but added a part at the end that my Mom has sole authority to change anything she wants if she feels God leading a certain way. that has helped a little, but this is a welcome reminder that it's out of my hands & all i can do is pray for what my heart desires & trust that if things don't go the way we're all hoping, there's a reason.

    this is totally random & will probably sound quite stupid, but does Ty have any Native American blood in him (if you know)? i know he's half hispanic (or at least his birth father has hispanic in him) so maybe that's why i keep thinking that, but sometimes, in some pictures, for some reason, i think he looks like a little Indian. :-P

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  3. God is so good, isn't He? He brought Ty into your lives and you, Ben and Ty into ours. I cannot wait to see what he does for future children for your family.
    Thanks for sharing these precious moments with us Rebekah. I cherish them every time I read one of your posts. Hugs.

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  4. Us, too! On almost all accounts. Riley says "Bayyybeee Sheesus" and I LOVE it.

    I also love how we feel so much more peaceful this time around...

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  5. I'm so glad to hear of the place of trust and peace you find yourself in - what a blessing....

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  6. Love Bb-ee Jessa...so cute..It's "Aunt Meme" Ty, you can do it :)

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  7. He warms my heart every time he says "That Name." What a great start you are giving him. Glory!

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  8. Your posts fill me with such joy. I am a birthmother who longs for a relationship like the one you share with Rebekah. But until that day comes, I will delight in the beauty of yours. God has made you a beautiful gem. Thank you for sharing your honest thoughts and treasures from your heart.

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  9. Our 4 year-old Stephen calls his birth mom Nikole "My 'Kold"...he knows that she is "his" and that Rebekah belongs to his older brother Silas...it's a special thing watching the boys interact with them...I wish y'all lived closer to each other :o(

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  10. Simply beautiful. It's amazing to hear (read about how) you love Ty's birth mother and your desire that your son would also love and seek her out.

    Can't wait to hear how God is going to bring about Ty's brother/sister...one thing is certain, he ALWAYS gives us more than we ever expect or dream of. NO matter how big we dream, His dreams for us are ALWAYS bigger (reminding myself of this truth as I write it).

    Love,
    Indy

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  11. now that we are in that place where we can see how God was always watching out for us and has placed our son into our family, we have that peace too and even the day we were bringing him home I was thinking of "let's do this again!". Though the journey was long and painful at times, to see our baby boy's eyes and his precious face, we know God is sovereign and his grace is plentiful.
    I pray for you, Ben, Ty and Rebekkah and the one that will come one day to your family.

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