I am a reflector. Not the bicycle sort, of course, but rather the thoughtful, retrospective kind. Watching our baby boy morph into a running, laughing, tackling buddy is more than enough inspiration.
Seeing him develop, right before my eyes, is the greatest privilege I've ever been given. When I see him cover his mouth to cough or put his clothes in the hamper, I know he's refinery in the making. Our latest tradition involves the story of Christmas, which proudly boasts Jesus at its center. Ty has this puffy-people advent calendar (made by Fisher Price) and each night we pull a manger member from its pocket and place it appropriately in the stable. Baby Jesus is in pocket 25 and every night we share in his coming birth day.
I emphasize how special Baby Jesus is and that he deserves our love, lavishly. These quiet teachings have resulted in exuberant Ty-bursts throughout the day..."Bb-ee Jeesa! Bb-ee Jeesa!" he'll say and smatter the puffy pillow with kisses, before swiftly tucking him back in pocket 25. The warmness he causes to spill from my heart is too good for words.
I know it's simple, not-fully comprehending, love. But it's still love. And its existence gives me much hope for my little man's future. Not only do I aspire for him to chase after his heavenly father with all of the breath he contains, I want him to love people with the same intensity.
Ty's words are starting to flow more frequently and name variations of loved ones have ensued. He's so proud of himself when he says "Jo Jo Jo Jo" for Uncle Joe or "Do" for Uncle Drew. Phone talking has become more than a novelty and we make more frequent bedtime calls than ever before. All of these progressions make me excited for Rebekah.
She, of course, is a normal conversation piece in our home, but I know Ty has little understanding of what we're saying. I'm looking forward to the coming year's changes and the chance Ty will have to re-bond with his mom.
I know that I can't make things happen...that I can't force him to love and adore Rebekah, but my hope is that he'll live in the overflow of Ben and me. That he will love her because we love her. That he'll pray for and pursue her because we do.
I'm also hoping that this will be the year of the sibling (smile). We've had a few expectant moms inquire about our willingness to adopt, this year, but so far they have all made choices to parent (which we respect, understand, and encourage). Unless God has other plans, we'll begin the foster adoption licensing process next summer. We really want to honor birth order, so we may need to wait a long time...but I'm still holding out hope that Ty will have a playmate before next year's end.
If only he knew just how much we depend on "Baby" Jesus....
I will say, it's so much easier to trust God's hand-picking for our family this time around. Such a wonderfully, peaceful place to be.