But the awe of looking at a son you did not birth, knowing the great sacrifice paid by his first mom, and the tremendous thanksgiving in your heart for him, is love at its greatest height.
Ty finished up his cereal, this morning [Can you believe he's eating cereal already?], as Ben sat down on the couch to watch. Very reflectively, he said, "I can see why people look at their adopted babies and think they were created just for them. I don't believe that...but when I look at Ty I see such a gift."
(You can read this post to understand why we don't feel Ty was "meant" for us.)
The thanksgiving in our hearts for this joy-giving boy has never dimmed. He has given so much fullness to our life; a week doesn't go by that we don't remember how he came to be.
Last night, I had a dream that we adopted one year old twins and renamed them Molly and Max (both names were on our names list). The girls name was Dahly (pronounced "dolly") and it seemed they just needed new names for a new start, in our family. The dream was so real, I woke up this morning questioning its truth and experienced a wave of emotion from disappointment to how-in-the-world-would-I-handle-three-babies-under-the-age-of-one.
It almost seems selfish to think about/desire siblings for Ty. Could we really ask someone to gift us such an incredible blessing, again? I understand that Rebekah needed us as much as we needed her...but it's hard to see that when all I can see is a bubbly, coo-filled little boy that represents all of God's best.
I feel so undeserving of such miracles, but am thankful God saw otherwise!