Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Day 116

I did it. I turned 27. Yesterday.

Thank you for all the kind words on my coming year. 26 was pretty much the worst year I've ever had, so 27 will no doubt be super, comparatively. Last year was the pinnacle of our infertility issues. In October, a few short months after my big day, my world came to a slamming halt and continued to spiral downward after our first and last IUI. We had spent months getting infertility treatments and had agreed that the IUI would be our last step in the journey. On paper everything was perfect (the day of the IUI) and we should have gotten pregnant, but didn't. It was the start of a very dark, very emotional season for Ben and I. We threw our hands in the air, stormed heaven, and walked away from life for awhile. This year is shaping up to be very different (thank God!) The only problem is that I am getting older...

Getting older was never a problem for me, until this's so close to 30. It's not the "older" part that I'm fearful's the lack of accomplishment that bothers me. When I graduated high school my naive life expectations were to marry Ben, have all our kids by age 30 (I really wanted to be a young mom), graduate from college, and be smack-dab in the middle of an exciting career...Ben's the only steady in my life that actually worked out as planned. The others are a far cry from reality. Kids-none. College-still working on it. Career-not so much. It's humbling really. Somewhere between a young girl with a huge future and an older girl still struggling to find one, life plopped its huge nasty foot in the middle.

Thankfully, my life has really taken shape in the last several months and I'm filled with a renewed sense of hope on how things will turn out. Had this not been the case, I probably would have stayed in bed, eating dark chocolate, all day long! Instead, I woke up with a smile on my face, relished the festivities, and made a "before you're 30" to-do-list.

I stand before you, today, a confident 27 year old with a bright year ahead. I'm married to the most fantastic man alive, I graduate in December (FINALLY!), start my Masters in the spring, and will hopefully add "mom" to my title soon. Should be a great year, indeed.

[Thank you, Ben, for giving me such a beautiful night out]


  1. Whoa! Look at those extensions! O-kay...sign me up :). I know about expectations of life and how things turn out differently. I remember at the end of "Dan in Real Life" a quote that said maybe the advice we should give our children on making plans for the future is to "plan to be surprised". Ultimately, the surprises turn out so much better than what we had planned anyways. You're gorgeous!

  2. What a beautiful picture of you!!
    It's odd how life often doesn't turn out quite the way you expect it to... and often it's better. I like the "Dan in Real Life quote" Laura wrote (we just watched that last night). It's a great one.

  3. You are Gorgeous!!! Glad you had a great night, even if you had to work during the day!!!

  4. Some people have such a hard time growing sister hit 47 and you would think the world was ending....I came up with a great plan...I turned 40 this year and so I will tell people I'm 40...when I hit 41 I'll start saying I'm 45, so by the time I really get there won't matter. And I'll look great for 4 years. Ha! Ha!

  5. Hope your birthday was great! Don't worry about not feeling like you've achieved your goals, emotional and mental achievements are so much better anyways!

  6. I turned 27 earlier this year and I know the's just a big number, isn't it.

    You are so accomplished in so many ways....if the internet and complete strangers in blogland can tell that then I imagine you have a million friends IRL that would agree!

    Happy Birthday!

  7. I have a poem for you, by the great Robert Browning:

    Grow old along with me!
    The best is yet to be,
    The last of life, for which the first was made:
    Our times are in His hand
    Who saith "A whole I planned,
    Youth shows but half; trust God: see all, nor be afraid!"

  8. it could be worse could be...AHEM...almost 37...and JUST STARTING with the whole college thing! I'm just sayin!

    You are a true beauty and I am so happy for your bright future! And YES...Mom will soon be your number one will thrill you like you have never known!

  9. Wow, our stories are so similar, it's spooky. I too had all these dreams and ideas what my life would be like. Of course, things never go as planned. The only thing I had going as planned was being married to my high school sweety. College was hit or miss, thus, no career and the babies weren't coming like I thought they would. We too did one IUI and walked away for good from infertility treatments. It was too much of a gamble and if we were going to throw money at something, we wanted to throw it at something that would definitley make us parents in the end. It's so neat to reflect now, years later, at how God moved and worked to bring us our girls when He did. We had to go through 7 years of infertility before adopting our daughter, only to become pregnant nearly two years later. So much for infertility!!! Just hang in there and it won't be long before you are reflecting at how God brought you your child.

    Sorry for the long cooment. Oh, and happy birthday.

  10. Happy birthday-beautiful photo!!
    Here's to a year filled with wonderful and blessed moments, may it be the best yet.

  11. Happy belated birthday and thanks for the assurance that one gray does not make me an old lady! That is a really good picture of you. You are so pretty!

  12. I know we've chatted about it plenty, but I can't help but say "SERIOUSLY" yet again--life has definitely not turned out like we'd imagined. Some very good, sweet stuff amid some grueling, awful stuff. ...makes you want to write a book. And tell all young people out there to be careful making elaborate plans for their futures.
    P.S. LOVE the extensions :)

  13. Happy Birthday, Rebekah! I'm a little late in reading this since I've been on the lake for a week, but I'm glad your day went well!

    I can completely understand/identify with you about not being where you want to be by this age. I sort of freaked out around that time (more like 28 for me) because of some of the same reasons. Now here I am, a full five years later, and still not completely where I want to be, but much closer.

    I hope this is your best year yet!!