On Hold

Our trial was adjourned due to an outstanding (and complicated) child support lawsuit against Little Miss' punitive father. Our case cannot continue until that one closes. One of three things can happen: 1) The "state" won't be able to find him to serve his subpoena, in which case, we'll be able to continue after a set period of time (I think 6-8 weeks), 2) He will show up for his hearing and, voluntarily, sign over his parental rights, or 3) He will request agency services.

If the third option actualizes, we could be in for the long haul. As he would be working on his parenting plan, we would have to bring Little Miss for weekly visits (up to three per week).

Sweet Boy's case will be on pause until Little Miss' has resolution, in the event that both siblings require adoption in the end; the state wants them to stay together.

I let all of this news ruin my day, when I received it last Wednesday...but I've since chosen to put it out of my mind. I can't control the process or the outcome; there's no sense in worrying about what could happen.

We believe the end result will be the same. Sweet Boy and Little Miss will become permanent members of our family. The unknown is how long we'll have to wait and how difficult the disruptions will be for our babies that already have fragile emotions.

Dealing with the flaws of the system is infuriating when you're the one living in the mud, doing your best to love these babies through the slow process of healing. More than anything, Sweet Boy needs assurance that he's not going anywhere. Forever needs definition. I hate that his case could be on hold for up to a year, on the outside chance that someone who has never interacted with his sister, decides he wants to be a father.

I am not against birth father rights, but in this case, Little Miss' dad is with her birth mom. He cannot claim ignorance of her existence and, in fact, has had multiple conversations with the case worker on what he needed to do to gain custody. It's not fair to either of my kids that the birth father is offered a chance to parent, nearly a year after his daughter's birth.

Apart from being forced into a relationship with a stranger, Little Miss will be oblivious to the process. Sweet Boy is the one who will suffer. It's frustrating.

All we can do is wait, patiently...and hopefully...for good news.

To be honest, our days are too busy to do much else!