Thursday, May 6, 2010


****Until we work out the bugs, you have to click on the title of this post to see comments. Hoping to fix that****

Alright, folks, I've been wanting to join the Disqus party for quite some time, but kept going back and forth on the issue for various reasons. After reading through the comments on my last post, I knew it was time. My number one reason for embedding this application is for discussion purposes. If you offer good food for thought I'd like to host further conversation.

So. Moving forward, I'll be using Disqus to host and moderate my comments - Thank you for your help Kelsey!! (Anyone can comment; you don't need an account). Most of us avoid change, but I hope you'll stick around and try it out. I'm excited!

Today, I would like to address some of the questions/comments/judgments from my last post. I would like to start by saying, this is my space. Clearly, it isn't a detailed account of every aspect of my life or all my feelings. Try not to take this personally, but when I write, I don't really think about my readers. I don't think about how they might respond or wonder if I should rephrase my words. I JUST WRITE. The only exception to this practice is my family. I do think about how my posts will affect Ben, Rebekah, and sweet Tyrus.

This is a place for me to pound out my thoughts - joys, clouds, and frustrations. I'm a heart-open, talk-it-out kind of girl. I love that I can come here and work my mind on "paper."

So. All that being said. It's funny to me that some people get so out of whack by what I write, assuming they have have all the intricate details of our story (which by the way is my life).

Let's talk about this foster care thing.

Some things you might be interested in knowing that I failed to share the first time around: Ben and I are only thinking about adopting through the foster care system. God is nudging us in that direction, but our plans for starting the process are several months away. I have been working my hiney off trying to get through this Master's program so that I can be home more. I, currently, work at a Christian college and hope to teach there as soon as I'm done. Teaching in higher education offers a wonderfully flexible schedule for moms. I can teach two days a week or only at night or only online or take summers off. It's a beautiful thing.

God, of course, is free to change our plan at any time. But as it stands, I'd like to finish school before adopting again.

I am enjoying every second I have with Ty and I make a habit of not letting "things" bog down our family time (laundry, dinner, homework, blogging, etc). Because I work, my time with him is precious. All thoughts and conversations of future children are done after Ty is in bed [smile].

When it comes to family planning, infertile women should be given the same exercised right to dream. Having the ability to grow babies in my belly doesn't set some sort of ruling on the parent I get to be and the level of judgment my life is open to.

We are ready to parent again and it's okay for me to talk about it. Ty may be 11 months, 23 months, or 10 years before he gets a sibling. I'm okay with every scenario. We're on God's time.

Back to foster care. We are not looking to foster children. Maybe that will change in the future (I do feel a foster mom should be home to concentrate on the children placed within). We would like to adopt a waiting child in the foster care system.

In regards to my desire/anticipation/hopes to get a random email or phone call that an expectant mom has come across our path, I understand what FamilyofThree was saying. Adoption is tremendously difficult and emotional. We have an unusually intimate relationship with Ty's mom and it has given me a realistic view of the unnatural ripping that takes place in families. By hoping that another mom will find me is by no means me wishing/thinking/feeling that all expectant moms should place their children in the arms of other women. But. The fact is, women do make adoption choices for their babies. Whether I hope it will happen for us or not doesn't change it. It's my version of praying I'll get pregnant.

One of our reasons for wanting to adopt a waiting child is due to need. Although we would adopt an infant again if a situation presented itself, there are a hundred wonderful, loving families that would line up behind us if we said "no." The kids in foster care aren't so lucky. There is tremendous need there and we want to help.

Maybe that will put some of your Rebekah-fears to rest. Maybe not. Either way, I'm glad you're here and willing to listen to my heart.
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