Friday, April 29, 2011

Adopting Again

It’s a new chapter, a fresh page.

Within minutes of making the decision to adopt again, my fingers flew across the keys in research. We know where we’ve been called, what we’re looking for, and we feel equipped to do it. There’s something invigorating about such confidence that was lacking the first time around.

After ten minutes of searching, however, my balloon began to deflate.

If I thought the manual to open domestic adoption was missing, it’s completely non-existent in foster care adoption.  Every website I visited was a complicated mess of tangled details that left me with more questions than answers.

Finally, I found a site that listed Michigan adoption agencies and the type of adoptions they specialize in. I’m starting out very particular. I don’t want to use an agency that does anything more than foster care adoptions. My main reasons are both centered on pressure. I don’t want to be pressured into moving into a money-making sector of an agency, nor do I want to be talked into fostering.

For right now, we know that God is calling us to adopt child(ren) out of foster care.  We don’t feel right about fostering kids with the end goal being adoption. It goes against the grain of the system’s reconciliation purpose and it doesn’t align with what we feel God’s asking us to do.

I could only find three agencies in our area that met my specifications, so I emailed all three the same snapshot. In essence, I described our passion for adoption, our openness to race and sibling groups, and our desire to honor birth order.

We may not always feel this way, but (again) for now, we would like Ty to be the oldest. Assuming assessment and placement takes around a year, we’re asking to look at children from 0-3 years old.

This morning, I received my top-picked agency’s response.

Strike one.

I’m sorry, but we’re only accepting applications of parents wishing to adopt children over the age of 8. Parents with your specifications wait years.  If you change your mind, please contact us again.      

My heart fluttered for a moment and I thought about how much easier it would be to ignore the call of God and run back to the familiar. (How backward is your reproductive life when adopting, domestically, is the easy answer?)

Thankfully, my heart surged forward and, with determination, I reminded myself that we have two more strikes. And if need be, two after that. And four after that…

God is beckoning.

We are moving.

My dreams are too big to contain. I hope you’ll join me as we turn the page.

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Parenting 101: Don't put Jesus in the Closet.

Ty's language exploded in the last few weeks and the connections his little head puts together make me laugh. All week, we've been talking about Easter and what it means to us as Christ-followers. I mostly get blank stares when I tell him stories so I really don't know what he's retaining or understanding.

This morning, I jumped in Ty's bed, told him how madly in love with him I am and asked if he remembered what we're celebrating today. He promptly asked for daddy.

"Ty, daddy's still sleeping. Do you remember what mommy told you about, today? It's Easter."


"Yes. When you see people today, you should say, 'Happy Easter'."

Happy Burr-thday!!

No. Happy Easter.


Okay, whatever. Do you remember who we're celebrating today?


"No, Ty. Daddy's sleeping. We're celebrating Jesus. He died for us...but then rose again!"

Then. With the most concerning look I've ever seen from a two year old, Ty asks. Mama...Jesus go?

What do you mean, Ty? He died, but then he rose again.

Very matter-of-fact like Ty reiterates his point. Mama, baby Jesus go? mean baby Jesus from your advent calendar? We packed him away with Christmas.

I had a dozen variations of this conversation, today, when Ben, finally, said, "Honey. I'm not sure we're communicating well, here. Maybe telling Ty we pack Jesus away until next year, isn't the best idea!!"

That made us both laugh.

At bed time, when Ty asked about baby Jesus for the upteenth time, I promised we'd fish him out of the closet so that we could celebrate him all year long, without question!

From our family to yours, Ty says, "Happy Burr-thday!!"

Tuesday, April 19, 2011


Rebekah is coming to visit. Soon. And I am, literally, giddy with excitement.

Admittedly, I have been a horrid friend this year. Not just to Rebekah to everyone. This last push to my master's finish line has been more grueling than I was prepared for. My friends and family would tell you - I don't call; I don't write; I don't attend parties. Work-Ty-homework-sleep, has pretty much become the rhythm of my days. And if someone...let's say...Ben (for example), wants to spend time with me, it has to fall within the first two beats of the pattern because the last two are pretty much non-negotiable. It's bad, I know. Certainly not an ideal situation, but the end is near (August!)

Rebekah is one of the people I miss most. I love the uniqueness in our friendship and that our affection comes from mothering the same son. I want Rebekah to know and experience sweet Tyrus in the same ways that I do and having her come stay with us, in Ty's home, will allow her that opportunity.

From family wrestling to teeth brushing, I want Rebekah to see her son. She'll laugh at his silliness and cry in his tenderness, knowing, the whole time, that she has helped shape him. 

I can't wait.

I've got about three weeks to jam all the homework in so that we can have a care-free, all about Rebekah & Ty, kind of weekend, but what a reward her visit will be. I look forward to sharing it (and new pictures) with you!

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Give Hope. Win a $500 Visa Gift Card!!!!

Please check out my Real Hope blog and find out how you can win a $500 Visa Gift Card! I am supporting an amazing group of college students that are doing a fantastic work at a nearby, inner-city, public school. I'm proud to know them and be part of such a cool initiative.

 I hope one of my readers wins!!!