Happy Birthday Ben!

Tomorrow is my Ben's birthday. And I must throw him some love!

I wish I could say, "Behind every great mother there is a great father..." Sadly, I know that's not always true. But for little Ty and me it absolutely is! I wouldn't be/couldn't be ME without him.

Infertility either rips apart your marriage or glues you together. There's not much room between the highs and lows of emotion for anything in the middle. For us, the heartache of not being able to conceive, wove our hearts together in such an intricate, intimate way. This deep, inner knowing blossomed and Ben always knew when to squeeze my hand or settle my heart. Sometimes we'd cry together, sometimes we'd sit in silence. Sometimes we'd take our anger out on each other, sometimes we'd gang up and take it out on someone else. Right. Wrong. Indifferent. We were always united....and we survived. We survived the barren beast and lived to see brighter days.

Today, there's a different knowing behind his eyes. When he looks at me and words are absent, I know. I know just what he means. We've come so far...

I recently had a conversation with a friend about marriage - except the marriage she described was foreign to me. It's not the marriage I know. My Ben is sacrificial...and sensitive...and serving. He heirs from a long line of family-men that give all and take little.

When it comes to possessions, Ben never complains. He wears the same two pairs of shoes until they fall apart and then he buys a new pair. His phone is the cheapest, oldest, most basic phone you've ever seen and doesn't have a camera or internet (gasp!). Every few years he buys me a new laptop and continues to use the old one. When it's time for a new vehicle, Ben wants me to drive it. When we both decided it was time to go back to school, he let me go, first.

He gives - gives - gives and the beauty of it, is that he does it without thought.

I love his passion. His passion for life, for me, for Ty.

Everything Ben does, he does well.

Whether he's packing the diaper bag or submitting a project at work, he gives each task his undivided attention and doesn't settle for less than excellent and he's the greatest rule-follower you'll ever meet (drives me batty), marking the integrity of his character.

Ben is funny and sweet and charming. His love for ducks and squirrels endearing, his generosity to the lowly humbling. He puts our marriage before Ty and loves both of us more than he loves himself.

I am so thankful for this man that God created just for me. I pray Ty grows up to be just like him.

Happy Birthday, Ben! May your next thirty years be full of joy and family and geeky board games.