Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Your Questions Answered

Each week, I have readers ask me questions - be it through comments or emails. I try to answer as many as I can, but due to time constraints I often have to skip over some. I'm going to start doing a monthly Q&A post, so if you've got questions, now's the time to ask!

Here's what's up for our first Q&A session:

What do you think of the song "From God's Arms, To My Arms, To Yours." It was originally written by Michael Mclean, but has been rerecorded by other artists, including Marie Osmond?

I had actually never heard of this song before and had to do a Google search. The lyrics are beautiful! I'm embarrassed to say, I had no idea Marie Osmond adopted her children - how cool!

Where do you guys live?


How did you and Ben choose your agency?

We first decided to adopt domestically. It was really important to us to have a newborn. We selfishly wanted every minute, every first, with our soon-to-be child. Adopting a 6-12 month old, internationally, would have been okay the second time around, but we wanted to experience full parenthood the first time.

Once we knew domestic was the best fit for us, we weighed the pros and cons of using a national agency versus an in-state agency. We decided to go the route of an in-state agency because we knew out-of-state adoptions could be more complicated and expensive. (Ironically, we chose a Michigan based agency to avoid the out-of-state hoopla and then Rebekah found us...and lived out of state!)

Once those two factors were decided - domestic, in-state adoption. We simply looked for the agency that did the most adoptions, in Michigan. (We did meet with and research the agency - we didn't just sign on the dotted line!)

What kind of camera do you use?

My wonderful husband bought me a Nikon D60, last year, and I couldn't love it more! My favorite shots are taken with a longer 75-300 lens because they lend well to the artistic eye. My bestie and I took a photography class at our local community college to get wised up on shooting manually - very helpful. I'm a long cry from professional, but it's been a really fun hobby (and has saved us a lot of money on buying professional pictures!)

Do you have to take calls from the birth father?

We don't have to do anything. Sadly, many adoptive parents don't deliver on promises made pre-baby...and there are no legal ramifications. We continue to foster relationships with both of Ty's birthparents because we feel it's in Ty's best interest. If he could talk, there isn't a question I wouldn't be able to answer, right now. I hope that our relationship with his first parents adds fullness and health to his story. We are very thankful for the contact we have, as long as we have it.

If God allowed you to get pregnant, now, how would you feel?

This is not an easy answer. My gut response is "I don't know." Having a baby would be, of course, amazing and wonderful...not to mention miraculous. But. God has put such a purpose in my heart for adoption. There are so many orphans in need of family. And we're family! For months, God has been stirring my heart toward our bleeding foster system and the need found within. I want God to use me! I know that we've made an impact on the lives of Rebekah and her family...I want to do more. I heard a missionary speak,yesterday, of his time in Haiti. He was walking to his helicopter when a woman held out her dying son and begged the missionary to take him - to give him health and a better life. The missionary talked about the impact it left on his heart.

Whether domestic or international, there are SO many kids in need of homes. I want our home to be that home. I can't rescue them all...but I can rescue one...or two...or ten!

Back to the question. Pregnancy would thrill me because it would be a quick, no-worry solution to giving Ty a brother or sister. But, if I'm answering honestly, I'd have to mention the possability of disappointment. If we were able to birth a whole clan of Pinchbacks, we would not be so aggressive at welcoming the fatherless into our home. And the Father needs us to do just that.

Can life get any better?
No way. I'm walking in the complete fullness of God. Any extra blessings that come our way will just add equal amounts of joy. There is nothing better than waking up to a squealing, happy boy in the room next door.

Feel free to leave your questions in the comments section for next month's Q&A.


  1. Thanks, Rebekah, for answering my question! The song really touched my heart and I am glad it did your's too. As far as Marie Osmond, she did adopt some of her children. It's nice to know that some celebrities can adopt (domestically at that and multiple times even) and not attract so much attention.

    I really enjoy reading your blog! Thanks for the great writing and beautiful pictures all of the time!

  2. When you first decided on adoption as a way to start your family.. Did you start out wanting open or closed adoption?

  3. Oh, I wanted to keep reading questions. LOL Let me think of one...When did you really start to feel like Ty's mom? I remember you said that it was rough at first.


  4. Great job Rebekah! Love the Q & Athing!

  5. We adopted our son (and firstborn) from foster care and it is an uphill battle the whole way, but so worth it!!

    I need to add though that we did not rescue him, he rescued us. These kids do not need a hero, they need a Mom and Dad.

    I love keeping up with your blog and sweet baby Ty. What a precious family you are.

  6. I have given you the "I Give Good Blog" award.

    Now it's your turn to share some good blogs with the rest of us...

  7. i love your 2nd to last answer about getting pregnant and your thoughts on the foster system. last night I picked up a three year old little boy named kenny. free and clear to adopt, has been in foster care ever since birth and has had 2 adoptions fall through (because of the adults in the situations, not him) and his 3rd adoption in now in jeopardy.

    it is horrible to look at a little boy who has never had a family and hear him say "are you my new mama?" i have to brush over the question because there is no good answer.

  8. This is very professionally done. Nice job.

  9. Question: Will you tell us about Tyrus' name? Did you name him and what does it signify? Thx.

  10. Rebekah,

    I have been following your blog for several months, but I think this is the first time I've commented. I love what you've shared in this post about your heart for adopting children in the foster care system.

    You are right, while you can't rescue them all, you can rescue 2 or 3 or 12 from a life of floating around in the system! And I love what you said about the fact that if God allowed you to easily birth children into your family, you might not have such a passion for adoption. God uses all our circumstances to point us towards His purpose for our lives, doesn't He? :)

    By the way, have you seen this blog: This family has adopted 7 children so far...children that many families be unwilling to adopt, but children that so desperately need a Mommy and Daddy!

  11. I would like to know: How is Rebekah (and her family) doing? Do you speak on a regular basis?

  12. I would like to know: once you had been matched with Rebekah, how did you "survive" the wait until Ty's birth? Our b-mom is due Jan. 9 and I can't hardly think of anything except that...