Day 107

Do you ever look up the definition to words you frequently use? Probably not, but I happen to be super-geeky that way. I love to! Humor me. Let me present you with the very colorful, and somewhat contradictory, definition of wait:

wait
1. to remain inactive or in a state of repose
2. to be available or in readiness
3. to remain neglected for a time
4. to eagerly await

Currently, we are in a state of waiting. Truth be told, we our waiting to wait. We are waiting to hear that we have been put on the waiting list, where we all can do is sit and wait. It's a whole lot of waiting if you ask me! Surprisingly enough, I've enjoyed the wait so far. I'm at complete peace, void of all anxiousness, and enjoying time with my Ben.

We're back to training on the bikes and boy, does it feel great! I'm down 2 pounds this week and realize my 5 pound goal should come easy. I'm committing to continue the regimen even after I achieve my goal because I love the increased energy and the toning that's taking place! My favorite part of riding is sharing in something that Ben loves so much. I can tell he enjoys teaching me "the ropes."

He's pretty much the best. While I hand signed all 50 of our profiles, this weekend, Ben was a gourmet chef in the kitchen.

Me signing.

Ben cooking.

I feel so lucky to have a hubby that not only knows how to cook, but enjoys it! On Saturday, he comes upstairs and says, "I've been watching the food network all morning and am in the mood to create. What do you want? You name it, I'll go to the store for ingredients, and serve it up." We ended the night with very yummy king-sized, apple-raisin and brown sugar, stuffed pork chops...they were phenomenal!

I spent the rest of the weekend finishing up the profiles. That simple sentence doesn't quite portray an accurate picture on just how much work that was! I owe much of the credit to the greatest friend a girl could have...Meeghan!

Rubber cementing 300 pictures onto paper and then 50 profiles gets real old, real fast...and nauseating (who knew the stuff was so potent?!)! We might have lost a few brain cells along the way, but we finished! I closed the box with excitement and relief, as it marked the very last leg of our journey.

I did my usual prance the the post office, this afternoon, but was blind-sighted by emotions at my arrival. It played out something like this:

"NEXT!"

Gosh. You'd think this woman was slapped with an ornery stick and then told to serve customers. Could I feel more like cattle right now?

"Anything fragile, liquid, or potentially hazardous?"

"No." Just the last thing that separates me from our baby.

Priority for $7.80, delivered in 2-3 days or Parcel Post for $7.20, delivered in 4-7 days?

Then I felt it. An ocean of tears, a lifetime of heartache and wanting...the anticipation of having a child, the loss of not producing my own...the amazement of the plan, the difficulty wrapped inside and the uncertainty of the future. It flooded over me in an instant and I couldn't speak past the watermelon in my throat...right there in the middle of the post office in front of Scrooge McGrouch-a-lot.

I heard, "Ma'am?!?" bark through the stillness, but knew if I answered I would make a spectacle of myself in a crowd full of corporate jet-setters, tapping their watches, waiting to make their next meeting. Oblivious to the real life wait I was about to begin. All I could do was nod.

"Ma'am, is something wrong," Scrooge huffed. "I'm not sure what you want. Priority or Parcel Post?"

I managed to squeeze out, "Priority," paid her the money, and scooted out as quickly as I could. Who knew one package, one trip to the post office, could bring such a variety of emotions?

I made it out of the post office with some dignity, but welcomed the safety of my Jeep. It only took a moment to fall back in line with the peace and confidence I knew before. I returned to the office empty-handed, breathed a sigh of relief, and reminded myself there is nothing left to do, but wait...