Friday, March 27, 2015

Oh Baby

We'll pick up Food Friday, again, next week. Our week was too packed to fit it in!

In three weeks, I will FINALLY be able to, properly, introduce you to Sweet Boy. We received notification, this week, that his foster file has, officially, been closed, and we have legal guardianship! The only outstanding to-do is our adoption court hearing. It has been such a long year, I can't believe we made it to this point. 

Sweet Boy is so excited, he talks about going to court, nearly every day. Yesterday, when I picked him up from school I heard him telling a friend that he would be adopted in a couple weeks. His friend asked, "What does that mean?"

"It means I have a family forever - I get to be a Pinchback!"

His friend, simply, said, "Oh. Cool."

I am thankful that most kids have no understanding of what it means to be orphaned. His upcoming adoption day will be a great celebration for all of the people that have prayed and paved the way to his rich future. Not only will our closest friends and family be there, but so will his previous foster family, case workers, and therapist. It will be a great day.

Little Missy's case is at a standstill. I stopped asking questions. I am confident she will remain in our family, so I am choosing to be at peace with where we're at. It looks like her adoption won't be finalized for another year. It's frustrating for us, but she doesn't know the difference...and there are some outlying blessings in having constant connection with the agency.

I have been able to remain in contact with Sweet Boy and Missy's mom, which is really important to me, and we did our first sibling visit, this week, with their new baby brother. 

Because Sweet Boy's foster file is closed, he is not required to do the, monthly, visits that Missy is. I think, this summer, I will choose to tell the boys and let them come with us, but for now, it's more important that he attends school and sees his adoption through. He had such a difficult time defining family, I'm not ready for him to have to take on the complication of trying to understand why his new "brother" doesn't live with us.

I'm not sure how our future family will take shape, but I am confident that we're doing the best we can, right now, with the family we have. Baby brother's foster family knows that we are open to adopting him if he became available and (today) seems, equally, content with fostering and/or adopting him. Ben and I have made our intentions clear to the agency, but haven't had a chance to meet the foster family, yet. We will adopt baby brother if the foster family says, no, when the time comes, but we will not exercise our "first right" to adoption if his family wants him to stay. I know how long this process takes and, in the end, it's best for him not to move if it can be avoided. I have three children that moved multiple times and each move added to their brokenness in significant ways.

Regardless of where baby brother stays, we pray for his health and wholeness and hope that we will get the privilege of being influencers in his life. Remaining true to transparency, our hope is that the foster family will raise him. If God gives us say-so, we would like our future adoptions to be older children. Things don't often go according to our, we'll just have to wait and see what God has in store.

Prior to the visit, Ben's parting words were, "Please don't fall in love with that baby..." I enjoyed cuddling him and watching Missy's interactions, but there was no motherly instinct (not that I've ever had that upon first meeting). He was very calm and good natured - complete opposite of his sister.

Speaking of his sister, she had her tube surgery, yesterday. 

I fell in love with her a long time ago, but there was something about just us girls being together that flooded my heart. Little Miss is like me in a lot of ways. We have very little fear and are willing to try most things. We are confident, secure, and committed to follow-through (Ben might say "stubborn"). Watching her take on the hospital like she owned the place was hysterical. She didn't care that we had been up since three, she greeted every person that walked through the doors with a "hello"; she went from curtain to curtain in the pre-op room, rubbing backs and giving hugs. We were one of many families with littles having surgery that morning. 

Her constitution is so strong it seems supernatural.

While every other lovie, rightfully, clung to their mama, my baby was discovering new hallways and shaking hands with doctors. Watching her, affirmed in my heart why God chose me to be her mother.

She is going to change the world.

Her surgery went really well. The doctor said she had a lot of fluid in her ears and expects her hearing to improve, significantly. I am so thankful.

I am thankful that God continues to move and work in our family. 

We have so much to celebrate!


  1. Oh the things that God does....

  2. Praising God, as always, for you and your beautiful family. Love you! Julie

  3. Congrats to you and your family but especially Sweet Boy! Hoping Little Miss becomes a permanent member of your family sooner rather than later. May peace and strength surround your family. Can't wait to hear all about Sweet Boy. Best to you all always!

  4. Missy reminds me of the quote attributed to Napoleon:
    “Let her sleep for when she wakes, she will move mountains.”

  5. I'm so happy to have found your blog and now follow it. You are an amazing woman with a huge heart!

  6. So 'over the moon' happy for Sweet boy! What a wonderful day that will be when his adoption is all final. Little Miss sounds absolutely precious, and full of personality. I really enjoy hearing how God has formed, and continues to form your family!

    Kathy Lang

  7. So much in this post! I'm thrilled for Sweet Boy. It was so rough for him when he first joined your family and to hear how he tells a friend at school about his adoption is heartwarming. "Don't fall in love with that baby" cracked me up :) And Little Miss sounds like a force to be reckoned with.

  8. So happy for sweet boy!

    My older son had tube surgery in September. It has definitely helped with the ear infections!

    Praying for you guys.

  9. I am so happy for the update. I think and pray for you and your precious family often. I was so anxious about Little Miss' placement and prayed hard that God chose to keep her with you. Sweet baby brother. Prayers are he lives a happy healthy life and is loved and cherished wherever that may be. We hope you have a blessed Easter.

  10. So, so happy to hear that Sweet Boy's case is moving forward and so excited for your family to have closure on this. I'm sorry to hear that Little Miss's case will be going on for a bit longer but it sounds like you have peace about that and about your decision regarding his new brother.
    Thanks for sharing everything you do.
    Amber at

  11. I think you should have Ben do a few sibling visits and see if he can hold himself to the request he made of you. LOL, I think his soft spot for babies is as big as yours. 😊