Sunday, October 18, 2015

Another Homecoming

Baby Brother's foster family spent the evening with us on Friday. There was a heavy knowing in the air, but it was really nice to spend time with them and to hear more of their story. Our kids were crazy. The kind of crazy you try your best to hide from people - especially people that are about to leave a costly gift with you (forever).

Sigh. But this is who we are. I like to think we control the chaos....but I always realize otherwise when people step in the front door for the first time.

Friday night went better than expected. He was only up for about an hour halfway through the night. It wasn't a painful or angry cry, it was more of a I-just-woke-up-in-a-strange-place-and-you-are-not-my-mother whimpering.

Ben joked (truthfully) that he makes the same sounds as Little Miss, only his decibel is about one-third of hers.

Last night was a bit rougher. He was up, on and off, for hours and that familiar beg to God set in, "Lord if you love me, please, PLEASE, let him sleep."

I know it's only been two and a half days, but I am tired. So tired.

People that told me I wouldn't notice a fifth - that anything after three is the same - lied.

It's a lot different.

Ben and I were like underpaid circus crew, this weekend, moving to the demands of the set. It took us three hours to get ready for church, this morning, but when we pulled into the parking lot on time, tears misted my eyes. We did it. And I know it will only get easier from here.

I am overwhelmed by the support that has flooded our doorstep.

Every day someone is handing me a gift card or asking if they can bring a meal. Today, we shared our hearts in front of our church, bringing people close to what God is doing in our growing family. Afterward our pastor asked the congregation to invest in God's work through us. He had us stand at the front of the altar and the stream of people that came was continuous. I cried, as family after family gave and shared their support, thanking us for saying yes.

One precious woman told me she had very little to give, but that she was a fierce prayer warrior and committed to bathe our family and Sweet Mama in prayer. Others offered free babysitting, and meals, and haircuts.

I am stunned with gratitude; I don't even know what to say.

A hot out-of-the-oven meal arrived, tonight, with a box of Tim Horton donuts that the kids went bananas for and I thanked God for his provision. This mama is exhausted, but the surge of energy I felt from all the helping hands around me, today, reminded me that we CAN do this...because we're not alone.

The bills will get paid, our sleep will be multiplied, and the kids will experience love.

Speaking of - I am awestruck at the tenderness my babies give so freely. I was worried about Little Miss. She is bossy and commands attention in every way. I knew she would have the hardest adjustment. Yet, she seemed to grow by years overnight. Sure, she still throws around, "My mommy" every other time she looks at her baby brother, making sure he understands the terms. But, she has been so interested in playing, reading, and helping me, I haven't seen any signs of spite or envy.

Baby Brother is such a bundle of sweetness. I've been wearing him, each day, and playing with him as much as I can (the boys rotate feedings). He is so relaxed and happy it's a breath of fresh air.

Rocking with him at night has been very emotional. The deep, fierce, mama bear love isn't there, yet, but I have this tremendous awareness of what a treasure this little boy is. In a way I've never felt before. I think of Sweet Mama everyday. The kids have been writing her letters and drawing her pictures, too. We popped at least 2 or 3 packages in the mail, this week.

I've been texting Foster Mama every time I think of her to ease her unsettled heart and let her know that we're taking the greatest care with her son.

All the while, knowing that the earthly love surrounding Baby Brother pales in comparison to the love of his Father. Wow.

It was a good, good weekend.


  1. Thank you for being you, for saying yes so many times, and for sharing for people like me to learn.

  2. It will get easier. It take time, but it does. And adding a new baby is hard. It's makes everything that was starting to get easier, harder all over again.

  3. Oh yay. What a wonderful way for your church to show an outpouring of love of you and your family. Prayers this transition is smooth.

  4. Beautiful baby boy! Beautiful family! May god bless you and keep you safe. Fill you all with much love, health and happiness. May baby boys mama grow and keep in touch so that someday she can be a part of her kids life too.

  5. Sounds like you all have a community of support from your church. Hot meals and other tangible items are wonderful, but I'm sure the prayers are just as helpful. It's so cool to hear that your other four are loving their new baby brother and welcoming him with open arms. Your family's story is heartwarming and uplifting!

  6. I found the transition from 4 kids to 5 kids to be the toughest transition yet! But it got easier with time :)

  7. Tears again! So glad Baby Brother is home but thinking of the foster parents. I have never met you but I love you all. Praying that you will feel God's strength and grace for these short nights and just adapting all around.

  8. LOVE this! Thanks for sharing.

  9. Tears!! Praying for you and your sweet and precious family!

  10. Your story just inspires me so much; challenges me and terrifies me because of what I believe the Lord may be asking of my family through yours but mostly inspires me.
    Bless you, and know that I am praying for rest and sleep for you and your family tonight.

  11. Sobbing, beautiful mess with these words.
    Adoption is SO beautiful - it is such an intimate love story. Imagine the way our Father feels about us, if this is how we feel about our own family? How our stories are woven together -- how HE CHOSE US.
    I'm so grateful you have the prayer and physical support from your church family. What a precious gift.
    Continuing to pray for your family of SEVEN!

    PS - I have 5 boys that are 9 and under -- the addition of #5 was a beautifully complicated one. There was much triaging -- and yes, 3 hours to get ready for church sounds about right. ;) Love and prayers from a Sister in Christ

  12. Of all Sundays for me to miss.... would have loved to have been there. Beautiful picture at the end of this post. Thinking of you and praying for you! Let me know if you need baby boy clothes as I have an abundance. :)

  13. I'm excited that your church has stepped forward in such a wonderful way to help you all through this transition from four to five!

  14. You are so amazing and such an inspiration. Praying for your family!

  15. been thinking of you and your FIVE kids and praying praying praying! love you big mama xx

  16. I am so excited about your new addition and look forward to all you will post as you all become one big happy family! Thanks so much for sharing your life with us

  17. thinking of you mama!! praying for calm and sleepful nights xx

  18. Hope everything is going well. Can't wait for an update!