Saturday, August 4, 2012

World Changers

Before I dive into what I want to share about Ty and LJ's relationship, I would like to say that I consider this blog an online journal of not only our experiences as a family, traveling through adoption, but it also reflects the growth and stretching that I experience as a woman, mother, and person of faith. Naturally, when I chose to keep such a public record of my heart cries, I opened myself up to every shade of criticism and encouragement. Most criticism passes moderation because I find value in discussion. I don't, however, post mean-spirited comments that direct malice toward Ben, Ty, LJ, or Rebekah (thankfully, those are few and far between, now that we're on the path to foster adoption).

I say all that to say, this is my space to write from my heart. It doesn't always look or sound pretty. It's not perfect because I'm not perfect. And it may not always be a good representation of adoption, parenting, or Christ...but it is a representation of life, my heart, my struggles.

Yes, Ben and I are being stretched as people and parents, right now...but we wouldn't change a thing. Ty and LJ are the most valuable gifts we've ever been entrusted with. And although I do not subscribe to the theory that God made them for me, I do believe he brought them into our life and will help us grow them for His purpose.

Lately, I've had lots of questions about how LJ and Ty are bonding. I want to talk a little about that, today!

God has given Tyrus an incredible capacity to love. He is the most tenderhearted, perceptive boy I know and God is using him in our family. He says things like, "Mom. I always wanted a brother like LJ" or "Mom, are you so happy to have two boys?"

Although LJ is much more adventurous than Ty and only young by two months, he looks to his big brother for a lot of direction. Lately, LJ has been saying, "Mom, Ty is my best friend." We can thank Cars for introducing the concept!

Their brotherhood is equally beneficial.

LJ is extremely different than Ty in personality and activeness. It has been really neat to watch Ty extend his limits and be willing to try new things because of LJ. One of LJ's best qualities is that he's game for anything. Food, adventure, new experiences - LJ will try it...and now, so will Ty (most of the time).

LJ, naturally, requires constant reassurance and symbolism of home, right now. Ty has become a healthy security for LJ. Work, church, and date-nights are a breeze because LJ always has a piece of home. In the last five months, LJ has never been without me, Ben, or Ty. I think it has really helped in shaping his definition of home and family.

They play SO well together. From cars to dinos to master chef, the boys are buds. Their new game has been playing "daddy". One of them pretends to be the daddy and the other pretends to be a baby. I was cracking up, the other day listening to them talk like Ben.

I love watching the interaction.

One trait that has really surfaced in LJ is loyalty. Last week, we were at a children's museum and another boy came by to get into the car that Ty was driving. LJ shoved him to the side and yelled something "brother" and sat down close, next to Ty. He did get in trouble for the push, but his demonstration of protectiveness was interesting to me.

My constant prayer is that they will be mighty men of God. I hug them and kiss them and lay hands on them every chance I can. I know their love for each other and God is enough to change the world.


  1. Thank you for sharing your story.... I have not posted a comment in quite some time but I have not stopped reading. I'm an adoptee and your heart for children and God have kept me a reader! I'm so sorry that you have had to hear any negativity at all towards your journey and struggles. Only prayers an support lifted from here! God is good! Thank you again for sharing. Ty and LJ are so blessed to have u as parents!

  2. Wishing you all the strength you need as your family develops. Seeing the pic of ty and lj- moving. You have a beautiful family!

  3. Such a sweet picture! You have a beautiful family :)


  4. I appreciate your openness very much. As one in the process of adopting (sib group of 4) I need to hear the "real deal" and to know that God brings you through. It is faithbuilding. Fake perfect stories are discouraging because then when you go through the "real stuff" you think you are the only one and you are more open to Satan's lies about why this is so.
    Thank you for being willing to put it out there,
    Karen Twombly

  5. I appreciate your honesty and openness on your blog.It is a beautiful thing.These boys are awesome and such a blessing. I see you going through trials etc but how rewarding this is and what a difference you are making. I haven't commented before but I just wanted to tell you keep up the good work.Blessings to you and your family.I will keep stopping to read about your journey. All the best.

  6. I LOVE all your post and the realness that you bring to each and every post. Your post make me want to strive to do better as a parent. Thank you for sharing everything even if it's not pretty;) LOVE LOVE the picture you posted- so very precious!!

  7. That picture of your boys should be able to melt even the hardest of hearts. How absolutely precious!

  8. I love reading your blog, and I especially appreciate your willingness to share your thoughts about YOUR life...the good, the bad and the ugly. That is the beauty of the blog...IT'S YOURS! I am a momma of 4 kids, and while they are all mine biologically, we struggle every day with many issues. Making sure everyone feels loved, appreciated, taken care of, etc. On any given day, one or more kiddo could feel like they are left out, or like we favor one child over the other one, no matter how much we try. LJ and Ty are totally and completely blessed to have ya'll as parents. Keep sharing your thoughts, and make no apologies for I said...they are YOURS! May God continue to bless your family and may He continue to give you patience and strength.
    Leslie G.

  9. I love reading your blog also. (I can't even remember how I found you.) It never ceases to amaze me how people can presume to add hateful comments or commentary without really knowing the individuals PERSONALLY. You have added dimension to my life, by sharing yours. Your boys are charming, and I think you are doing a wonderful job rearing these boys. Keep it up!!!

  10. oh wow...this picture is too lovely!

  11. My husband and I just adopted our sweet daughter and have begun our journey in open adoption. I am soo encouraged by your blog. I have some catching up to do! Thank you for sharing! I chose to comment on this post because....HOW SWEET IS THAT PHOTO??!!!