Monday, March 29, 2010

Standing Still

I've always been terrible at taking time to stand still. When Ben and I were first married, I would walk in from work and immediately start making dinner, straightening the house, and penning lists for the next day. He'd constantly pull me to the couch and say, "Can you just be?" After eight years of marriage, the drill continues, except now I'm a willing participant.

The other day I caught the above moment at the park and it sent me on a reflecting binge. I thought about all the guys I could have, would have, and thought I should have married and thanked God for the one I did. Ben and I have grown up together and there were many times through young adulthood that I questioned my choice in boys. One of the big battles I struggled with, believe it or not, was Ben's faith. At 16, the most God-hungry boys were seemingly more outward with their worship, passion for life, and body art (good ol' 3:16 tattoos and the like). They talked the big talk and had girls swooning on every elbow. Ben was never that boy. He was always sure and confident, but quiet.

I didn't know the treasures he possessed until I married him.

When I look at him, today, I am so thankful...and so aware of my foolish, juvenile thoughts. I thought because Ben didn't run to the alter every Sunday or outwardly confess exaggerated sins that somehow made him less godly; less honorable. When I see where all those once passionate, God-chasers are, today, I understand the realness of what Ben has. He is steady. And loyal. And genuine.

We are so like-minded, me and him.

He is anchored in Truth. He knows what he believes and does not waver, left or right. I used to think I brought out the best in him until sweet Ty came along. They bring out the best in each other. When I experience them laughing in the nursery or reading on the couch, I know they share something special.

Their friendship secure.

I am so thankful for my boys. They challenge me to cherish our time and to drink in the sweet moments that would, otherwise, be quickly forgotten.


  1. Beautiful post--you chose well indeed! And I know what you mean about those witnessed moments between your boys. There is a special bond there that seems to grow stronger every day. How lucky are we to be the women on the other side of that love? :)


  2. Oh I love this post. I am so shocked this morning to see Ty standing up and plying in some of his newer pictures. What a big boy. The picture in the blog is great. I love the matching hats. Like father like son. LOL Wonderful!!


  3. it must be a "Ben" think because many of the things you described about your Ben are MUCH like my Ben. Thank GOD for men who aren't putting on a show but are in a solid relationship with our GOD.

  4. Wow! Did you let Ben read this post? What a great way to honor the man God blessed you with. That picture is remarkable! Breath taking! You are surrounded with beautiful boys, and they are surrounded with the love of one classy lady. Makes me smile. Thanks for being so open and willing to share your story and love for each other.

  5. Oh my! This post makes me so excited. I am so happy to know that amazing, God-loving men really do I just need to find my own!

  6. I love this post! I, too, have trouble standing still and it is a great reminder to do so.

    I am getting excited about your trip to Colorado! I can't imagine how you all feel!

  7. Cindie,
    I laughed at your question, "Did you let Ben read this?" Funny thing about my Ben. He doesn't read my blog!!!

    In his defense he says, this is our life - he's living everything I write....which IS true.

    So, no, Ben didn't read this....and I didn't tell him about it. Guess he'll never know how I feel! :)

  8. Long time lurker here--I recently made a commitment to myself to start coming out of the woodwork...That is so beautiful, and funny what you said about Ben not reading your blog. My husband doesn't read mine either--he says that he lives it every day, why does he need to read about it? I, too, think he would enjoy the way I write about him, but I guess he'll never know either! :)

  9. That's such a sweet post! I have been going through the same sort of thing, savoring every minute. I don't know if you ever heard of Layla Grace, a 2 year old that just passed away from cancer.( Reading her story has made me ever so grateful for the small times God has blessed my family with. I don't mean to bring something up so sad with such a nice post, but it just made me think of that. If you check out her blog, be ready for your heart to break...and have a lot of tissues on hand! Sure makes you treasure everything you have; and truly trust that God is in control.

  10. I hope that one day I am as blessed as you are, to have such an amazing family. I pray that God sends me 'a Ben'.

  11. What a beautiful, heartfelt post! I too have often thought through our IF struggles how incredibly thankful I am that God brought my husband & I together, He definitely has a plan in all this!

  12. Wonderful post. Your hubby is a wonderful man, and more importantly a wonderful father!

    By the way, my blog went private. Please email me if you want an invite!

    Ty gets cuter every day!

  13. This was such a sweet blog. Nana read it and it meant a lot to Ben's mom. Every time I think Ty can't be cuter in a picture, he gets another heart-tugger. So adorablle.

  14. What a great post, I really loved this one. I love how in an amazing marriage, you only manage to fall more in love with the person over time. It shouldn't end when you say "I do."

  15. Your husband seems like an amazing husband and father. It's only fair because he ended up with a pretty amazing wife (wink, wink).

    Our God is awesome isn't he? He knew better what we needed than we did. Always does. ;)