Day 188

My girlfriends threw me the most amazing baby shower, yesterday! It was rather large and I didn't take any pictures...but hopefully someone who did will get them to me so I can post some of the highlights! I was overwhelmed beyond belief. Ben and I have been in such a funk over the last couple of weeks. We've been experiencing some non-baby related stress that has made the baby wait even more difficult. The days leading up to the shower I was getting major cold feet. Had I made the right decision to go ahead with a shower, without a match? Were people judging our decision? Did they think I was just looking for an excuse for free gifts?

No matter how many times my friends encouraged me that everyone understood, I wasn't so sure. However, yesterday, I found myself standing in front of all the people I love most, sharing tears and hugs. I have never felt so loved, so surrounded. Every detail of the shower was perfect and thoughtful, from the centerpieces to the cake to the guests. I knew I had opened a lot of gifts, but it wasn't until I got home that I felt the full impact. My living room was covered in gifts! I was so overwhelmed with the love poured out, I could only sit and stare. (Not much putting away happened last night!)

I had piles of the most beautiful books I've read and almost every item from my registry. I am so glad I bucked the agency's recommendation and went ahead with decorating a nursery and having a shower. Most moms get 9 months to nest and plan and dream...why should it be any different for an adopting mom? I know there's risk. I know there's emotion...but a baby is coming.

I loved my nursery before, but now? I can't leave. Really. It's beautiful; it's full. I cry every time I look at the bookshelf. Over the next few weeks I plan on reading every book on the shelf, while cuddled up in my rocker. I know every woman is different and has ranges of tolerances. For some, walking by an empty nursery brings heartache. For me, it brings healing and hope. I love that I've had time to prepare and plan and dream. As I bathe the room and our baby and our birth mom in prayer, I dream about the day when I no longer have to dream.

Here's some updated pictures of the nursery! (There's only two additions that aren't pictured - 1) I have the most gorgeous charcoal gray long taffeta curtains to hang and 2) I have 4 large frames for baby pictures)

Just wait until you see the curtains! (Isn't the pillow adorable?)

No bed is complete without a rock star blanket! :)

My curtains look just like that gray pillow--they'll be beautiful when I finish sewing them!

This candlestick is one of my favorite pieces of the nursery. It immediately took it from baby to glamorous!

I got three beautiful homemade scrapbooks!

A picture of my growing niece, Nya--for extra cuteness!

I'll post shower pictures when I get them!