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I wish I would have started blogging my heartache earlier. Over the past several weeks I have been so inspired reading other blogs of women (and men) that have stories that mirror mine. There is such a connection...a knowing, when I read my struggle walked out in the lives of others. I felt so isolated for so long. Who knew online journals could be so liberating?
I eagerly read through the pages of a new found "friend" last night [Glenna] and found answer to a question that has been weighing heavy on my mind the last few weeks: to decorate a nursery or not to decorate. Glenna wrote [first understand this woman's story is so much my own, I related to her on every level]: "I spend a few minutes in this room every day, sitting in my rocker and praying for our baby, the birth mom, and us as future parents. It is SUCH a relief to have hope for our future." That was all I needed to seal the deal. I promplty made my way downstairs where Ben was watching the Pistons game, plopped down, and with full sincerity asked Ben if he would buy me a rocking chair. Now, mind you, the sequence of events made full sense to me, Ben however, responded with "For crocheting or something?" Stunned that he hadn't followed my thought pattern, I had to laugh! I explained that I wanted a rocker so that I could sit in the baby's room and pray. Not quite realizing the impact my simple request would have, he replied with "sure." God, I love him.
I don't care how long I have to walk by an empty room...that room--that chair--that life is going to be bathed in prayer.
So, I'm in the market for a new chair.
Friday, May 23, 2008
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Funny, I was going to link you to Glennas blog - your journeys sure do have their simularities.
ReplyDeleteI couldn't help but cry reading your post, bathing that chair in prayer...whew. After reading her post the other day, I asked Scott should we do something - small even to have something to touch and anchor us in this dream.
((HUGS)) praying for your purchase...and ya know it wouldn't hurt to crochet a little in it too!
Awesome Rebekah! That is so sweet! (And powerful!)
ReplyDeleteSomeone told us that we'd need "serious psychological counseling" if we decoratrd the nursery too early. we laughed that off and got busy decorating.
ReplyDeleteFor us, it was preparation for a baby that we KNEW God was going to bring us. It was no longer a question of IF, it was a matter of WHEN.
Hope you find an awesome rocker for some quality "prayer prepration" for your little one!
i am so happy for you, after seeing that you had a blog and doing my best to catch up, i cant tell you what a peace i have about this. your hope and love is pouring out through your writing. i wish i could use better words to express what excitement i have for you and Ben! i can't wait to "follow" along with you guys as you blog your journey!
ReplyDeleteWe had a nursery from the time we started ttc -- even through failed matches and placements I never regreted having the nursury- there were days I shut the door- but there were more days I went in there and felt - hope -- I printed out my favorite scripture and put it in the bed and would read it when I went in there! good luck on finding that chair!
ReplyDeleteWe had the room done even before the paper work is done...it's actually a comfort to go in nightly and sit and talk for awhile.
ReplyDelete