Sunday, December 13, 2009

The Other Rebekah

I was rocking Ty, this morning, after he got up from nap - soaking in the snuggles. We were chest to chest when he looked up at me with dark brown eyes (they are instant heart melters). Very gently, he reached up and placed his chubby hand on my cheek and just left it there. He does this often, but usually it's followed by seizure-like strikes and nose squeezes, but today he just left it on my cheek. It was one of the sweetest moments we've ever had. I said, "Tyrus, do you know how much your mommy loves you?" He immediately moved his fingers to my lips for a new resting spot. I found it to be the perfect opportunity to tell him his adoption story. He sat mesmorized by the rocking and rhythm of words. He didn't fidget or squeal or laugh. He just stared.

I am so thankful for what God has done in our lives and what he continues to do in us and Rebekah. Naturally, I want what's best for Rebekah and her family, but it goes beyond that. I want to see a miraculous revolution play out in her life. I want God to shake things up and take her to places she's never been before, giving her opportunities she never thought possible. That's how I pray, anyway.

The past couple of months I gave a lot of thought toward what we should do for Rebekah at Christmas. My sister came to me, first, wanting to know how she could get involved. In passing she said, "Rebekah has given this family a pretty substantial gift, I want to show her how thankful we are." Her words were so emotional for Ben and me. Simple words, but filled with meaning. I had never heard anyone, other than Ben, verbalize Ty being a gift to them. Of course, people recognize the miracle he is for us...but to hear someone refer to him as a gift to all of us, was really moving.

One thing kind of led to another and before I knew it most of the family and some of our closest friends were wrapped up in shopping and wrapping and getting excited abour our little project. Rebekah has a great new job, now, that will, hopefully, allow her to start putting some money aside so they can get into a new home. My family wanted to step in and take care of her kids for Christmas so that she wouldn't have to worry about finding money for presents. We want her to be able to save for the future!

So...last week, Ben and Ty and I packed up all the gifts and shipped them off to her family. The gifts are great and I know the kids will be so excited come Christmas morning...but the part I love the most are the letters...Many of my family and friends wrote letters to Rebekah thanking her for our little blessing and included pictures of their families, in hopes to make the family connection a little more tangible. I desperately wanted to read all the letters to see what everyone had said...but I didn't want to mess up all the pretty envelopes!

I guess I'm saying all this to say, I'm so touched. I'm moved by the generosity of those around us. That our adoption story doesn't just include us...but a myriad of people showing there support in various ways.

I haven't talked to Rebekah, yet, but she did leave me a voicemail that all the packages arrived this weekend (she doesn't know it, but there are more on the way)! We will never be able to repay Rebekah for the life she gave us, but it fills my heart to know this Christmas...our first Christmas with baby Ty...that both our trees will glow a little brighter. Hundreds of miles away, Rebekah's kids will have dancing eyes and excited squeals, while Ty provides the same joy in our home.
Ty "helping" pack the gifts

Recently, Rebekah gave me the greatest compliment an adoptive mother could ever receive. In response to one of our family pictures she said: "Ty has this look on his face of complete happiness and completeness. He looks as if nothing is missing in his life...Thank you for being such wonderful parents."

My God is so mighty.
He not only moved our mountain, he filled its place with glory...
All that come near are being swallowed up in the lovesong that surrounds one sweet baby boy.
The world is changing. To God be the credit.


36 comments:

  1. To God be the glory, great things He hath done!
    This story of yours and Ben's and Rebekah's and Tyrus' just keeps getting better and better. God is working miracles here and it's a blessing to witness them.
    Merry Christmas to all of you and may God keep you safe and bless you today, tomorrow and always.

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  2. I have recently started reading your amazing story. The connection your families share through adoption is so inspiring. My husband and I are also considering adoption and it has been so uplifing reading your blog. :)

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  3. As always I am in tears!
    God Bless you all and Merry Christmas!

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  4. You never cease to amaze and inspire me. I so love and enjoy reading your story, Tyrus and Ben are truly lucky to have such an amazing lady in their lives.

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  5. Ahh!! Choking back tears...you always do this to me Rebekah! In a good way of course... :)

    What a wonderful thing for all of your family to come together, Rebekah is so lucky to have you, and you have her. What a blessing. Ty is so lucky!!!

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  6. Wow. Just wow. Merry, merry Christmas to you, Ben and Ty, as well as to Rebekah and her beautiful children. You have all been truly blessed. What a miracle.

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  7. How sweet of all of you to do that for them!! She is clearly an amazing woman.

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  8. She truly is an angel sent from god. It must be a wonderful feeling for her to know her baby ended up with such wonderful parents. It was so nice of you to try to give something back.

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  9. I knew your story would be beautiful ... but the fact that it just keeps getting more and MORE beautiful is SUCH a lovely surprise!

    Merry Christmas to you all!

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  10. You are so amazing!!! Ty is so blessed!!! GOD IS SOOOOO GOOD!

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  11. You and your family and friends are so wonderful to make sure Rebekah's kids have a special Christmas.

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  12. Whew! My God is so mighty - those words are SO TRUE!

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  13. Such a beautiful idea you family had. Truly inspirational. I hope you all enjoy a wonderful first Christmas with Ty...I know you have been waiting a very long time for it!

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  14. I also just started reading your story. What an amazing journey to parenthood! You are sooo blessed to have found each other!

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  15. I have been reading your story for a while now, and first of all, I want to say that I do enjoy your posts. You have a wonderful way of verbalizing emotions that really touches others. There is something that I really wanted to bring up, though, because you have used the same terminology in several posts. It is the reference of Ty as a "gift" to your family from his birth mom. I realize that so many people view adoption this way, and that it might be hard to view it any other way, if you are on the receiving end of things. :) But I'd love for you to consider the perspective of many, many women who have relinquished their children to adoptive families: Our children were not gifts to their families, but rather, those families were our gifts to our children. :) Never once did I ever have the desire to give my child to another family in order to provide something to them or to fill a void in their lives. I did not pity them because of their infertility or feel like I could do something to make a difference in their lives. Afterall, the people who would parent my daughter were total strangers to me. But she was my flesh and blood. My heart and soul. Everything to me. Why would anyone ever give a person away for the sake of anyone else? It just wouldn't happen. ;) I know that may sound harsh, but I don't intend for it to be read that way. When that sickening cloud settled on me with the truth that I would not be able to parent (I was very young), my goal was to find the best family to be to her what I could not be. So my every thought was toward her and what I could do for her as her mother, even in my absence from her... And that was to give her a family that would be as close to what I wished I could be. She is now almost 15 years old. I have a lot of love for her family, but I still could never ever consider her a gift to them.

    It pains me when parents refer to their adopted children as gifts. I know that there is no malintent there... nothing but joy and thankfulness. :) I have heard many adoptive parents speak in those terms, and they always seem to be coming from a place of love and gratitude. But I just wanted you to hear what I and so many other women have known for many years... Our babies are not the gifts. Their families are the gifts, hand-picked by their mothers with an immeasurable amount of love and heartache.

    Thanks for letting me express this to you. I really do enjoy reading your blog, and I hope that you will receive this from my heart in the manner in which it was intended.

    Blessings,
    Jenni
    Natural Mother, Wife, and Mom to two precious little girls

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  16. The true spirit of Christmas...what a beautiful post.

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  17. What a blessing both families are to one another!!!

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  18. How wonderful. That's really all I can say. Sending my best to you and your whole family this Holiday season. Treating the other kids to some Christmas gifts is the best idea to help the other Rebekah! It will make them SO happy and content.

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  19. How thoughtful of you to organize this for the other Rebekah and her family. You both will have brighter Christmas' because of the gifts you have given each other. :-D

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  20. My eyes have watered...this is the most amazing adoptive story I have ever read about. I can't tell you enough how much I enjoy reading your heart's story.

    I pray that if the Lord has called us to be adoptive parents that we will be able to gracefully accept and like you and Ben have done be Christ for our child and the child's family.

    In His love,
    Indy

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  21. Oh wow!!! yes!!! The message Rebekah left is the most beautiful compliment anyone can receive...

    we also received a text last week from our birthmom...where she also says that Kellen looks so happy on all of the photos, and that she can see in the photos that Marcel and I love him very much!

    it was amazing...I've had this feeling of complete and utter love flowing from my heart out into the world...and that is the love of God.

    Yes, the glory goes to Him xx

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  22. Thank you for sharing this with us. I too share your love for gift giving and would have eaten this up!!

    Can't wait to read it on R's blog and see the photos of what was in those beautiful packages!! What a sweet, sweet Christmas for a beautiful family- two beautiful families. :)

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  23. I'm in tears... Sending Rebekah all those presents is an amazing gesture. You are so blessed for having a family that loves and honors Ty's birth mom. We're still struggling on that area with our family. I wish they could understand our feelings for M's birth parents. God bless you and your family.

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  24. what a wonderful WONDERFUL CHRISTmas it will be at both of your homes!

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  25. Wow...that's great! It's reminded me how much Patricia has given to us. I think with the craziness of Annie's birth last year it never occurred to us to get her something. I'm going to call her and see what we can get for her and Azuri (Josiah's biological brother) this year. Thanks for the insight!

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  26. the story just keep getting better. love that boy, love this story and love you guys...what an incredible gift you are.

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  27. I'm so glad Rebekah will have a nice Christmas with her children and that she has a great new job. Tyrus looks so sweet in white next to the tree. Innocence itself.

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  28. beautiful post, you left me teary-eyed! :)

    Melba

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  29. Usually, your posts touch me in so many ways. But this one, this one moved me to tears.

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  30. Incredible spirit, inspiring story, as always. You are such a shining example to the rest of us who are waiting. Thank you Rebekah.

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  31. I think I have read this post five times now. Im so blessed by it. Thank you Rebekah. :)

    R

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  32. What a lovely post! I've been reading your blog for some time now, but I think this is the first time that I have commented. Thank you so much for sharing your story.

    I was so inspired that I linked to your blog in my most recent post:

    http://inthepresentmomentmom.blogspot.com/2009/12/open.html

    Hope you and your family have a lovely holiday season.

    Best wishes and peace.

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  33. Rebekah,
    I emailed you a while back and you were so sweet to respond. I just want you to know I love reading your story and you are an inspiration. I forgot to tell you that I am a social work grad student...so I hope to be a "dreammaker" one day :) Also, wanted you to know you are right...God has begun answering my "heart's cries" :)

    Kelli

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  34. This is so such a beautiful post. I'm sitting here in tears seriously wanting to call my husband and tell him we need to fly you, Rebekah and Ty out here to show our family the miraculous blessing that open adoption can and should be. I hope one day you're able to sit down together and write a book. It would be the best feel good open adoption book out there. But I know that in your honesty you would both also include all the hard times as well.
    Anyhow, such a blessing your families have been for each other. So glad you were able to bless the other Rebekah.
    Merry Christmas, I know it will be an extra special one.

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  35. how neat! i wish you would've said something on the blog somehow, i would've loved to help out Rebekah this Christmas.

    but i understand it's a special family thing. ;-)

    if i survive my medical challenges (i'm 23 and have been sick most of my life, but became very seriously ill as of last summer) i plan to adopt, even if i'm physically capable of carrying a biological child. and if i choose to adopt domestically after my international adoption (planning on Russia, as i'm in love with the culture and have been learning the language) then i hope that my open adoption will be just like yours. i'd want to model it after yours because it's not only great for little Ty, not only will it help him feel complete & loved throughout his life, but it truly is wonderful for his first mother as well. so many people that include their child's birthmother do so out of a sense of obligation or because they know it's good for their child, NOT because they actually want that person to be part of their lives. but you're different. it's amazing how God has worked your adoption together and formed the relationships you all have, and i pray that if i am blessed enough to live long enough to become a mother, my open adoption will be like yours. :-)

    - michelle

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  36. congratulations. You are truly blessed. Enjoy your son and live in the moment.

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