tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7712476185050900324.post1137385524649692421..comments2024-01-02T19:39:27.832-05:00Comments on Heart Cries: Day 298Rebekahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11920816691217676013noreply@blogger.comBlogger43125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7712476185050900324.post-77340600102248901812009-03-31T23:27:00.000-04:002009-03-31T23:27:00.000-04:00WOW, unbelievable. our oldest four are adopted......WOW, unbelievable. our oldest four are adopted... we have heard quite a few unbelievable comments as well.<BR/><BR/>i skipped around your blog today, and i am so excited for you and your husband. i will be praying for you guys and the birth of your son! praise God!<BR/><BR/>beautiful story!<BR/><BR/>janellethe johnson crewhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00776474353375499103noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7712476185050900324.post-35019001558359274332009-02-28T18:25:00.000-05:002009-02-28T18:25:00.000-05:00Hey Rebekah- I got a Google ID because some of the...Hey Rebekah- I got a Google ID because some of the blogs I follow won't let me post comments with just my name. I haven't been able to get this post off my mind.<BR/>I think that it is just plain hurtful for people to as if you think Rebeakah will change her mind. To me it's pretty much the same as asking a pregnant woman "do you think you'll miscarry" or "do you think you're baby will be stillborn." Obviously, these things could happen, but there not things that can be changed by dwelling on them and there's really no point in doing so for either birth or adoptive parents.<BR/>HUGSwebkinzfanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06237681427243918680noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7712476185050900324.post-59884921870544056282009-02-27T00:13:00.000-05:002009-02-27T00:13:00.000-05:00I'd seriously consider changing doctors after a co...I'd seriously consider changing doctors after a comment like that. Wow! <BR/><BR/>Those questions you get are exactly why/how I've learned what not to share about our daughter's first mom. It's none of their business so I just don't share it. <BR/><BR/>I do love getting the sincere questions though. They make me smile.Debhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15484607337052505871noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7712476185050900324.post-55921684496978676742009-02-25T11:43:00.000-05:002009-02-25T11:43:00.000-05:00One more thought- yes- I like everyone else am inc...One more thought- yes- I like everyone else am incredulous that a doctor would make such a comment.<BR/>However, I serously doubt the doctor really ment to hurt you and Ben. It seems likely that the doctor and his wife are going through the same pain of IF that you and Ben have and I'll bet that he and his wife are just desparate for a baby. If he loves his wife, he probably feels just as helpless as Ben does and desperatly wants to take away her pain. Yes, his question WAS insensitive, but try to put yourself in his shoes. Yes-<BR/>do feel that he and his wife should pursue adoption through other means, but please don't be too hard on this hurting man. If none of the above aplies- if he and his wife are not infertile and already have kids, SHAME ON HIM!!<BR/>It also occurs to me that it is highly unlikely that he has followed this blog and has no idea what an emotional roller coster you and Ben have been on. If he has, then he must be, as Jennifer Aniston once said about Brad "lacking a sensitivity chip."<BR/>People can be so down right insensitive sometimes it amazes me! I am praying that everything works out just perfectly for you, Ben, and Baby Pinch. HUGS, sweetie. TracyAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7712476185050900324.post-74393631650724609012009-02-25T09:59:00.000-05:002009-02-25T09:59:00.000-05:00Oh Rebekah, sweetie- I empathize with you! I "feel...Oh Rebekah, sweetie- I empathize with you! I "feel" your pain over these totally inapropriate and insensitive comments! I'm so sorry that so many people want to "rain on your parade." I wish that I could give some of these people a piece of my mind! HOWEVER- like I've said before- alot of people just don't understand. Alot of people just assume that every woman who wants to become a mom wants to experience pregnancy and that every couple wants to have at least one biological child. Alot of people truely just "don't get it."<BR/>In fact, if you can believe it, I have felt sorry that my own adoptive mother and the adoptive mom of one of my best friends never had the chance to experience <BR/>pregnancy and birth. This is because I'd love to experience these things myself, even though I do not for a second doubt my ability to love an adopted child of my own. I feel great love for other people's children despite having no biological or legal relationship to these kids. I do believe that adoption is a miricle and I'm so glad that you and Ben have chosen to take "the road less traveled by"!!! I know these comments are hurtful. I'm so glad that you shared this hurt with us as opposed to holding the hurt inside.<BR/>You have alot of readers who empathize with you, even ones like me who have not been down the whole IF/adoption route!<BR/><BR/>HUGS for you and Ben.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7712476185050900324.post-50212853056928320452009-02-24T23:32:00.000-05:002009-02-24T23:32:00.000-05:00AMEN! YOU TELL 'EM!...oops was that my ouside voic...AMEN! YOU TELL 'EM!...oops was that my ouside voice talking?? hehe..Don't Worry 'Bout A Thing...https://www.blogger.com/profile/18247426428509382400noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7712476185050900324.post-13589092426009380222009-02-24T08:57:00.000-05:002009-02-24T08:57:00.000-05:00the majority of people you're going to come across...the majority of people you're going to come across are completely ignorant about open adoption. it's just not something a lot of people experience or are exposed to. and when people are ignorant, they say ignorant things. <BR/><BR/>i completely admire your responses and attitude! it will get harder for us as our kids get older, but we need to remember to educate those who don't understand. we owe that to our beautiful children.<BR/><BR/>i actually had someone come to my house (i think they heard about me thru my in-law's church) and want to pray for my womb! WTF?Terri Edwardshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15875598534189822313noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7712476185050900324.post-54852179798998815212009-02-24T05:56:00.000-05:002009-02-24T05:56:00.000-05:00I can't even think of words to say to such inane c...I can't even think of words to say to such inane comments and questions. I don't know how you remain gracious in those situations. Some people can be so unbelievable.Kimberlyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14558328808949437416noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7712476185050900324.post-30790163229770575812009-02-23T22:50:00.000-05:002009-02-23T22:50:00.000-05:00the comments can be unreal - and after baby is her...the comments can be unreal - and after baby is here they can actually get worse but then it is in front of your baby - oh I know>>>Mama Bearhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04459176957674069370noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7712476185050900324.post-90666073732948977072009-02-23T19:05:00.000-05:002009-02-23T19:05:00.000-05:00you and ben are going to be amazing parents to you...you and ben are going to be amazing parents to your son<BR/>i am so thrilled for you!Kristin-Mom to 4 boys and 1 precious girlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17772329862576145240noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7712476185050900324.post-35893833703344132692009-02-23T18:04:00.000-05:002009-02-23T18:04:00.000-05:00Wow, oh wow. The stupidity of some people continu...Wow, oh wow. The stupidity of some people continues to amaze me!!! Unfortunately, you will probably hear many more wacky comments before your baby comes home to you.<BR/><BR/>And in my opinion...Rebekah's Dr. crossed the line! How unprofessional!!! And I'm sure it made her feel uncomfortable also. Geesh.Jodihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10960065826710834062noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7712476185050900324.post-19417907158438045842009-02-23T17:49:00.000-05:002009-02-23T17:49:00.000-05:00I can not believe the doctor did that. People say ...I can not believe the doctor did that. People say the craziest things. I know before Prince Charming and I found out that we would not be able to have children except through adoption, we heard all sorts of crazy stuff. I wish people would just say if I can do anything please let me know instead of assuming we want them to "fix" something.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7712476185050900324.post-30753245707662003952009-02-23T17:45:00.000-05:002009-02-23T17:45:00.000-05:00I've heard them ALL...except the doctor one. How a...I've heard them ALL...except the doctor one. How awful and inappropriate!<BR/><BR/>I love your answers. This is NOT a second a choice for us! I'm the same way, stopped praying for pregnancy a long time ago and started praying for a FAMILY. I kind of don't even want to be pregnant...ever, you know? <BR/><BR/>But I leave all that up to God because OBVIOUSLY he knows better than I do!Jessicahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12383136325211182954noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7712476185050900324.post-25072325645728950422009-02-23T14:49:00.000-05:002009-02-23T14:49:00.000-05:00oh Rebekah :) Yes....someone said in one of these ...oh Rebekah :) Yes....someone said in one of these comments that we are just being prepared for what is to come. Seems you are figuring it out early! :) I still am just so floored by some of the things people say that I think I stand there with my mouth open but nothing coming out! :)There is not an ounce of me that doesn't feel like Milo is "my own" (the comment that has been most popular!) ~ I truly cannot imagine not having HIM in my life as my son. Hopefully I will learn to handle these comments (and more to come) as gracefully as you! :)<BR/>JamieJamiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00811881680852069678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7712476185050900324.post-85512396319351110022009-02-23T14:04:00.000-05:002009-02-23T14:04:00.000-05:00Okay, I am so annoyed by reading the questions/com...Okay, I am so annoyed by reading the questions/comments in this post that people actually have said to you. Where is the abounding JOY that should come with hearing a new baby is on the way... and on the way to YOU?!?<BR/><BR/>I have to tell you, stupid comments aren't limited to adoptions. I have been blessed to have three babies so far, and one on the way in May. When announcing to family/friends my news in the past... I was met with some of these:<BR/><BR/>"What about the first trimester thing? Don't you believe in waiting til the danger of miscarriage is over to announce a pregnancy?"<BR/><BR/>"Was this baby planned?"<BR/><BR/>"You know how this happens, right?"<BR/><BR/>And when I announced I was expecting my third... I got the most awful response from one acquaintance:<BR/><BR/>"Why would you have more than two? Are you hoping for a boy or something? I think it's selfish to have so many kids. I don't understand why you would do that."<BR/><BR/>Just to let you know, hon... you aren't alone. Asking an expectant adoptive mother is she thinks the birth mother will change her mind is JUST as ridiculously stupid as asking a first-trimester pregnant mom if she's worried she will miscarry. Neither of us have gone through either heartbreaking scenario before, so why would they bring it up?<BR/><BR/>Celebrating with you, for this beautiful boy God has brought into your lives!!! Bless you and your family.Lerinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08571871612772516612noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7712476185050900324.post-31631889584400725712009-02-23T13:55:00.000-05:002009-02-23T13:55:00.000-05:00Get ready because the questions will just get more...Get ready because the questions will just get more insensitive once baby boy is here. Our daughter is nearly 4 years old, and we still get dumb questions from family and friends. I have tried my best to educate those around me, but some are hopeless. It never ceases to amaze me what people ask adoptive families, but would never ask parents that have kids the old-fashion way. Our questions and comments get much more complicated since I have given birth to a baby since adopting our oldest and am now expecting our third. We see God's hand in every step of building our family and know that all of this is HIS plan. I get soooo tired of people telling me that we have a bio daughter now because adopting our oldest one "relaxed" me. Please!!! They fail to see the awesomeness of our family story and it's SO annoying!<BR/><BR/>BTW, I totally get how you feel about adopting vs. pregnancy. I was the same way. Of course, I was still curious about pregnancy but was totally fine with building our family thru adoption. So much so, that when we discovered that I was pregnant, I was a little taken aback like, "Noooo, I don't want this. Pregnancy looks miserable!" Of course, I am so thankful that God blessed with our Olivia, but it was hard in the beginning.Jessicahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01644469600281156543noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7712476185050900324.post-19850779108408897612009-02-23T13:41:00.000-05:002009-02-23T13:41:00.000-05:00I have gotten several comments like that and alway...I have gotten several comments like that and always set people straight. I don't think there's anything wrong with educating people a little on how adoption truly works. I also get tired of people saying I'll get pregnant now that we've adopted. I don't need to get pregnant anymore, we have our family and it's perfect!<BR/>I'm shocked at the doctor too!hope548https://www.blogger.com/profile/11951199252401108222noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7712476185050900324.post-53339734752696941232009-02-23T13:39:00.000-05:002009-02-23T13:39:00.000-05:00Wow. . . Amazing post, and as one infertile woman ...Wow. . . Amazing post, and as one infertile woman to another, I don't think it's bad at all that you reject a certain prayer.<BR/><BR/>Unfortunately, too many people see adoption as a last resort. God leads all of our lives in very unexpected ways, and the best thing to do is accept it, which you and your husband have done.<BR/><BR/>So happy you two will soon be parents to a beautiful baby boy. <BR/>:-D<BR/>www.iwananbeamommy.wordpress.comAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7712476185050900324.post-27543867743221828552009-02-23T12:52:00.000-05:002009-02-23T12:52:00.000-05:00I believe God is just preparing you now for all th...I believe God is just preparing you now for all the insensitive questions that will continue to come your way - especially after your son arrives. We have had all sorts of duzies!(is that a word?) One lady at church after looking at my bi-racial daughter asked me "what is she?" - my response "a baby" But she still didn't get it and continued w/ her barrage of inappropriate questions until my husband rescued her from my almost assault :)<BR/>But, most of the time my husband and I have decided at least for now to take the approach of educating others instead of being offended. Most people are speaking out of TOTAL IGNORANCE!!! And they only need some proper information - on the other hand there are times I am so offended that I almost can't help my immediated defensive reaction. It is definately a situation by situation choice that will continue to evolve as my children get older.<BR/>Hang in there - it will get easier to deal with people... especially those that won't accept that you are okay with your barreness - sometimes you just have to roll your eyes and go on! KUDOS to Ben for stepping in and stopping the prayer - I know it sounds strange to those who haven't been there, but I completely understand your feeling on this one!aimeehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09674091458819182450noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7712476185050900324.post-30427158016552923122009-02-23T12:04:00.000-05:002009-02-23T12:04:00.000-05:00*MOUTH DROPPING OPEN IN HORROR*Seriously..? The do...*MOUTH DROPPING OPEN IN HORROR*<BR/><BR/>Seriously..? The doctor one was uncalled for, as were all of the others, but his oversteps a moral code or code of ethic, whatever you want to call it.<BR/><BR/>And I cannot believe people pray for you to have a baby through your own womb--- it's not their business. I'm sure they are meaning well, but that's overstepping a very personal boundry.<BR/><BR/>Sorry you're facing so many challenges. Keep your chin up!!!Joy@WDDCHhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03709113785857792361noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7712476185050900324.post-21074589557255203292009-02-23T11:35:00.001-05:002009-02-23T11:35:00.001-05:00Teehee...i'm giggling...cause do I know the quest...Teehee...i'm giggling...cause do I know the questions!!!!! When I could not' handle the 'when are you starting with children' question I started with 'do I ask you out about your sex life?'<BR/><BR/>The shock! the embarressmentt... the sad part... i started to enjoy it! to my shame xxpERiWinKlehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01360909259789189106noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7712476185050900324.post-75496268881540112972009-02-23T11:10:00.000-05:002009-02-23T11:10:00.000-05:00Oh wow. I really admire your restraint. I would ha...Oh wow. I really admire your restraint. I would have totally thrown some punches for some of those questions. God is so evident in what is happening, I can't imagine why anyone would be so presumptuous as to assume He's made some kind of mistake and that if <I>they</I> ask for an 'open womb' it will happen. Sheesh. <BR/>My prayer for you and your husband and Rebekah - A gorgeous, healthy pregnancy, a continuing of the beautiful relationship you are all creating and a perfect baby. That baby is so blessed already, he's got so much love.Two Handshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03525454388105006044noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7712476185050900324.post-6393505524373703652009-02-23T11:09:00.000-05:002009-02-23T11:09:00.000-05:00Believe me the questions have just begun!!! I have...Believe me the questions have just begun!!! I have been through similar circumstances with our two children when we were adopting. You all are amazing and I LOVE your responses:) Our adoptions were domestic adoptions in our home state, our children are Korean/Cauc. and some people don't see it and say that they look just like us and then others will ask where did you get them (like you can go to the grocery and pick out a kiddo or something?!) My favorite response and usually ends the conversation right their is: they are from God!<BR/>Anyhoo just wanted to share and let you know I am out here in blog world thinking about you and praying for you all, Rebekah and your son! God Bless and sending ((hugs)) your way!happymomof4https://www.blogger.com/profile/13774686365582800301noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7712476185050900324.post-92007337507996114662009-02-23T10:38:00.000-05:002009-02-23T10:38:00.000-05:00Ha Ha! That is hilarious! We (humans) say some...Ha Ha! That is hilarious! We (humans) say some pretty stupid things sometimes! Out of the mouth of babes, Nuthin! Out of the mouths of non thinking adults is more like it!!! You crack me up with your responses to there statements! You are one funny girl!<BR/><BR/><BR/>cindieAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7712476185050900324.post-61823113238173500212009-02-23T10:32:00.000-05:002009-02-23T10:32:00.000-05:00people never cease to amaze me...what the heck are...people never cease to amaze me...what the heck are they thinking sometimes....honestly a doctor????<BR/><BR/>Thank goodness you are a understanding soul....:)<BR/><BR/>m :)StylinMomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02235521717778992493noreply@blogger.com